Singing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Ответ должен быть более связным и естественным. Избегайте разрывов и неполных предложений, используйте связующие слова для плавного перехода между мыслями. Также старайтесь избегать повторений и излишней детализации, чтобы ответ был более эффективным и лаконичным.

예시: I like singing depending on the situation. For example, I don't enjoy singing in public because I feel shy, but when I'm alone at home, I find it very enjoyable. Singing helps me express my emotions, so overall, I like it.

제안: Ответ неясен и содержит грамматические ошибки. Следует строить предложения более чётко и логично, использовать правильные времена и структуру. Также важно давать конкретные детали, чтобы ответ был информативным и понятным.

예시: Yes, I learned some singing basics while studying at a music school where I majored in piano. Although I didn't study singing professionally, I would like to improve my skills in the future.

제안: Ответ содержит хорошие идеи, но требует более чёткой структуры и связности. Используйте связующие слова для логического перехода между предложениями и избегайте повторений. Также старайтесь формулировать мысли более естественно.

예시: I am quite shy and introverted, so I don't like singing in public. However, I enjoy singing for my close friends because I feel comfortable with them and love sharing my passion.

제안: Ответ содержит интересную идею, но выражена она неясно и с ошибками. Следует использовать более точные формулировки и связные предложения, а также избегать повторов и неполных мыслей.

예시: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because I know many children who have overcome illnesses through music therapy. Singing and music can also help people cope with difficult emotions and improve their mental health.

× For instance, in a public or around the people.

✓ For instance, in public or around people.

The phrase 'in a public' is incorrect because 'public' is an uncountable noun here and does not require an article 'a'. Also, 'around the people' is awkward; 'around people' is more natural. This correction improves sentence structure and clarity.

× When I'm alone and nobody around me.

✓ When I'm alone and nobody is around me.

The original sentence lacks a verb in the second clause, making it a sentence fragment. Adding 'is' completes the sentence and makes it grammatically correct.

× Like so I like it.

✓ So, I like it.

The phrase 'Like so I like it' is awkward and unclear. Removing 'Like' and starting with 'So' makes the sentence clearer and grammatically correct.

× Yes, I use it to learn how to sing whilst I studied in a musical school my essential direct and a major W piano.

✓ Yes, I used to learn how to sing while I studied in a music school, where my major was piano.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'use' instead of past tense 'used to' and has unclear phrasing. 'Whilst' is less common in modern English; 'while' is preferred. The phrase 'my essential direct and a major W piano' is unclear and corrected to 'where my major was piano' for clarity and correctness.

× So I didn't study it so professional and so cool, but in fact I would like to learn how to sing.

✓ So I didn't study it professionally or thoroughly, but in fact, I would like to learn how to sing.

The adverb form 'professionally' should be used instead of the adjective 'professional'. 'So cool' is informal and unclear here; 'thoroughly' or 'in depth' is more appropriate. Also, adding commas improves readability.

× Personally, I think that I'm a person who is really shy and embrace it and I can't express my feelings in a public.

✓ Personally, I think that I'm a person who is really shy and embarrassed, and I can't express my feelings in public.

The verb 'embrace' is incorrect here; the intended meaning is likely 'embarrassed'. Also, 'in a public' is incorrect; 'in public' is the correct phrase without an article.

× Also, I'm an introvert and in fact I would like to sing for my close friends because I love to sing.

✓ Also, I'm an introvert, and in fact, I would like to sing to my close friends because I love to sing.

The preposition 'for' is less appropriate here; 'sing to my close friends' is the correct collocation. Adding commas improves sentence flow.

× Yes, I think singing can provide happiness to people because I have a plenty of kids that overcomes their disease by singing and music rescues their lives from suicides.

✓ Yes, I think singing can provide happiness to people because I have plenty of kids who have overcome their diseases by singing, and music has rescued their lives from suicide.

'A plenty of' is incorrect; 'plenty of' is correct without 'a'. 'That' should be 'who' when referring to people. 'Overcomes' should be past tense 'have overcome' to match the context. 'Suicides' should be singular 'suicide' in this context. Also, adding 'has' before 'rescued' is necessary for correct tense.