Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence naming the hometown, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct phrasing and linking words. Avoid fragments and repetition.

예시: My hometown is Hong Kong, a bustling metropolitan city and a major financial center in Asia. Because it is so fast-paced, many people balance long working hours with lively social lives; for example, it's common to see professionals enjoying nightlife or weekend markets after work.

제안: Good topic sentence and specific details. Improve coherence by using a linking phrase and polishing phrasing. Replace 'literally' with a contextual link and avoid vague endings.

예시: What I like most about my hometown is its convenience. For example, you can find almost anything within walking distance, and there are many hidden gems in back alleys and unique independent shops that are fun to explore.

제안: Give a direct, well-structured answer with correct tense and avoid fillers. State durations clearly, then add one concise supporting comment using a linking word. Remove informal fillers like 'Umm' and incomplete sentences.

예시: I have lived in Hong Kong for the past ten years. Prior to that, I lived in Shanghai for seven to eight years, so I appreciate both cities for different reasons: Hong Kong for its fast pace and convenience, and Shanghai for its cultural attractions.

제안: Answer directly and provide two specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar errors (e.g., 'access to' -> 'access'). Complete your thought and avoid trailing fragments.

예시: Definitely. Young people in Hong Kong have access to numerous opportunities and facilities to develop their interests, such as community centers and sports clubs. Moreover, the government often provides funding and youth programs that support startups and creative activities.

× People in Hong Kong often live a faster paced life.

✓ People in Hong Kong often live a faster-paced life.

Compound adjectives modifying a noun should be hyphenated. 'Faster paced' modifies 'life' together, so use 'faster-paced' to show they function as a single adjective. Also consider alternatives like 'a faster pace of life' to avoid hyphenation.

× They believe, work hard and play hard.

✓ They believe in working hard and playing hard.

The original mixes a verb with two coordinated verb phrases awkwardly and misuses a comma. The idiom is 'work hard and play hard' and when paired with 'believe' you need the pattern 'believe in' + gerund. Use 'believe in working hard and playing hard' for correct structure.

× I think it's a way to.

✓ I think that's the way to live.

The original is incomplete and unclear. 'A way to' requires an infinitive (e.g., 'a way to live'). Rewriting to 'that's the way to live' makes the sentence complete and natural in context.

× Among so many benefits of my hometown, convenience is the one that stands out.

✓ Among the many benefits of my hometown, convenience is the one that stands out.

Use 'the many' rather than 'so many' in this formal comparative context. 'So many' is colloquial and slightly awkward here. The revised sentence is more natural and grammatically appropriate.

× Literally, people can buy anything within walking distance.

✓ Literally, people can buy anything within walking distance.

No grammatical change needed; sentence is correct. 'Within walking distance' is an appropriate prepositional phrase. Note: 'literally' may be unnecessary or overstated; consider removing it if not meant literally.

× That is to say, there are so many hidden gems in the back alley and the cool shops for anyone.

✓ That is to say, there are many hidden gems in the back alleys and cool shops for everyone.

'So many' is colloquial; 'many' is preferable. Use 'back alleys' plural to match 'gems' in different locations. 'For anyone' is awkward; 'for everyone' is more natural meaning all people can enjoy them.

× I have been living in the city for the past 10 years, but before that I lived in Shanghai, another major city in China, for about 7 or 8 years.

✓ I have been living in the city for the past 10 years, but before that I lived in Shanghai, another major city in China, for about seven or eight years.

Sentence is grammatically correct in tense usage (present perfect continuous then simple past). Change numeric form '7 or 8' to words for formality and consistency. No tense correction needed.

× Then I moved back to Hong Kong. Umm, both. I love both cities to be.

✓ Then I moved back to Hong Kong. Umm, I love both — I'm happy in both cities.

'Both. I love both cities to be.' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with 'I'm happy in both cities' or 'I love both cities' to convey the meaning. The correction provides a complete clause and natural phrasing.

× Definitely, young people here can access to numerous opportunities and facilities to develop their interest or hobbies and government often provide funds or.

✓ Definitely, young people here can access numerous opportunities and facilities to develop their interests or hobbies, and the government often provides funding.

'Access to' should be 'access' or 'have access to'; in this sentence 'can access' is fine but must not include 'to' after 'access'. 'Interest or hobbies' should be plural 'interests' to match 'hobbies'. 'Government often provide' is subject-verb agreement error; 'the government often provides' is correct. 'Funds or.' is incomplete; 'provides funding' completes the idea.