Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar errors, avoid repetition, and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words sparingly to connect ideas.

예시: My hometown is Hong Kong, a major metropolitan and financial centre in Asia. Besides its strong economy, Hong Kong is famous for its cultural diversity, with festivals, international cuisine and a mix of Eastern and Western traditions.

제안: Be concise and correct grammar: give a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific examples using a linking word to show reason. Remove filler words and avoid repeating the same word.

예시: Convenience is what I like most about my hometown because almost everything is within walking distance. For example, I can find supermarkets, cafés and a wide variety of restaurants within a ten-minute walk.

제안: Make the answer direct and grammatical: begin with a clear time frame, then briefly compare with a specific difference between the two cities using a linking word such as "whereas" or "while." Avoid vague phrases and redundant words.

예시: I've lived in Hong Kong for the past ten years. Before that I lived in Shanghai, which is more traditional in some neighbourhoods, whereas Hong Kong has a faster-paced, more international lifestyle.

제안: Respond with a clear opinion, then support it with two specific examples and correct grammar. Replace vague terms like "unlimited resources" with concrete examples (e.g., educational programmes, start-up grants). Use a linking word to connect opinion and reasons.

예시: Yes, it's a great place for young people because there are many opportunities for education and entrepreneurship. For instance, there are government grants for start-ups and numerous community centres offering free classes and workshops for young people.

× My hometown is Hong Kong. It is a which is a metropolitan city known for its financial development.

✓ My hometown is Hong Kong. It is a metropolitan city known for its financial development.

Redundant and incorrect use of 'is a which is a' creates an ungrammatical clause. Remove the extra words so the sentence reads 'It is a metropolitan city known for its financial development.' This fixes the sentence structure and keeps the present participle 'known' correctly modifying 'city'.

× But apart from it's a financial center in Asia or major financial center in the world, it also has mixed up culture.

✓ But apart from being a financial center in Asia and a major financial center in the world, it also has a mixed culture.

'It's' is a contraction for 'it is' and is incorrectly combined with the article 'a'. Replace the phrase with 'being a' to show contrast ('apart from being a...'). Use 'and' to link the two descriptions and add the article 'a' before 'mixed culture'. 'Mixed up culture' is unnatural; 'mixed culture' or 'a mixed culture' is correct.

× Umm, convenient Convenience is the most, uh, important benefits of my hometown.

✓ Convenience is the most important benefit of my hometown.

Word choice and number agreement are wrong: 'convenient' (adjective) is misused instead of the noun 'convenience'. 'Benefits' is plural while 'the most important' requires a singular noun 'benefit' when modified by 'the most important'. Correct to 'Convenience is the most important benefit'.

× You can literally buy anything within walking distance and there are lots of cool restaurants and the shops around the corner.

✓ You can literally buy anything within walking distance, and there are lots of cool restaurants and shops around the corner.

The original sentence duplicates the article 'the' awkwardly before 'shops' and lacks proper coordination. Remove the extra 'the' and add a comma before the conjunction for clarity: 'restaurants and shops around the corner.'

× I have been living here for the past 10 years and before that I lived in Shanghai, another major city of China.

✓ I have been living here for the past ten years, and before that I lived in Shanghai, another major city in China.

Use consistent formatting for numbers ('ten' optional) and correct preposition: 'city in China' is the natural collocation, not 'city of China'. Also add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses.

× I love both cities to be and they have totally different lifestyle.

✓ I love both cities, and they have totally different lifestyles.

'To be' is unnecessary and ungrammatical here; remove it. 'Lifestyle' must be plural 'lifestyles' when referring to two cities. Add a comma before 'and' to join two independent clauses.

× People have different tastes as well.

✓ People have different tastes as well.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No correction needed. It is included here to indicate no change is required.

× It has unlimited resources to cultivate habits or hobby of young people.

✓ It has unlimited resources to help young people cultivate habits or hobbies.

The original word order 'to cultivate habits or hobby of young people' is awkward. Rephrase to 'to help young people cultivate habits or hobbies.' Use plural 'hobbies' when listing with 'habits' and place 'young people' immediately after 'help' as the beneficiary.

× The government also provide fund for young people to develop their interests or business.

✓ The government also provides funding for young people to develop their interests or businesses.

Subject-verb agreement: 'government' is singular so use 'provides'. Use 'funding' or 'a fund' rather than 'fund' alone; 'funding' is more natural. 'Business' should be plural 'businesses' when general. This fixes verb agreement and noun choice.

× It's really nice.

✓ It's really nice.

This sentence is correct as written; 'It's really nice' appropriately contracts 'It is'. No correction needed.