Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: give a clear topic sentence, use correct articles/capitalization, and avoid awkward phrasing. Add one brief specific detail to make it vivid. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: My hometown is XYZ, in the southwest of my country. It is known for its green mountains and wide, tree-lined streets. Many people visit to enjoy the scenic hiking trails on the nearby hills.

제안: Avoid repetition and long, vague phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise, specific reasons with brief examples. Use linking words (for example, moreover) to connect ideas and correct small grammar issues.

예시: I like my hometown mainly because the people are very friendly and the streets are extremely clean. For example, neighbors often help each other and welcome visitors warmly. Moreover, the municipal cleaning teams keep the streets spotless, which makes the town pleasant to walk around.

제안: Give a direct, clear answer stating the time period, then briefly explain the reason with coherent linking. Correct tense and sentence structure, avoid fragments.

예시: I haven't lived in my hometown for most of my life — I grew up in the capital because my father was studying there. However, my family and I usually returned to XYZ for holidays and weekends, so I visited fairly often.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then support with two or three specific examples. Avoid filler words and hesitations, and use linking words such as firstly/secondly/finally. Use singular/plural forms correctly.

예시: Yes, I think it's a good place for young people. Firstly, there are many job opportunities in local industries. Secondly, the city has reputable universities for higher education, and finally several companies provide training programs and internships that help young people start their careers.

× My hometown is XYZ, located in the southwest of my country.

✓ My hometown is XYZ, located in the southwest of my country.

No change needed for grammar category 11 because the preposition 'in the southwest of my country' is acceptable. However, a more natural phrasing is 'in the southwest of the country' or 'in the southwest of my country.' Keep as is.

× It is popular with Green Mountains and spacious streets.

✓ It is known for its green mountains and spacious streets.

Original uses 'popular with Green Mountains' which incorrectly treats place features as people who like the town; category 13 applies. Use 'known for' to describe notable features and use lowercase for 'green'. Suggestion: use 'known for its green mountains and spacious streets.'

× What I like most about my hometown is the friendly people and the clean streets because when you go there you definitely find people are so nice and so friendly.

✓ What I like most about my hometown is the friendly people and the clean streets because when you go there you will definitely find that people are very nice and friendly.

The sentence needs a clearer structure and appropriate auxiliary verbs for future-in-past context; category 26 applies. Add 'will' to express general truth about what happens when you visit, include 'that' to introduce the clause, and replace redundant 'so nice and so friendly' with 'very nice and friendly.'

× You can make friendship with them so easily, unlike other cities.

✓ You can make friends with them so easily, unlike in other cities.

Category 8: 'make friendship' is incorrect collocation in English; use 'make friends' or 'form friendships.' Also add 'in' before 'other cities' to compare correctly: 'unlike in other cities.'

× In addition to that.

✓ In addition to that, the streets are very clean.

Category 26: 'In addition to that.' is a sentence fragment without a main clause. Combine with the following idea to make a complete sentence: 'In addition to that, the streets are very clean.'

× The streets are so clean that it it is going to amaze you how clean they are.

✓ The streets are so clean that it will amaze you how clean they are.

Category 6: Redundant 'it it' is a typo; use 'will' rather than 'is going to' for concise expression of result. Keep present tense 'are' for the streets' state. Suggest: 'The streets are so clean that it will amaze you how clean they are.'

× I left for a short span of time.

✓ I left for a short period of time.

Category 5: 'short span of time' is awkward; 'short period of time' is the correct collocation. Past tense 'left' is fine.

× I didn't live there for long time.

✓ I didn't live there for a long time.

Category 22: Missing article 'a' before 'long time.' Use 'for a long time' to indicate duration. Verb tense is correct.

× The reason for that is that my dad was studying in the capital city of my country.

✓ The reason for that is that my dad was studying in the capital city of my country.

No grammar error from the provided list; sentence is acceptable. Consider shortening to 'because my dad was studying in the capital city.'

× So most of my years spent in the capital city. Far from my hometown.

✓ So I spent most of my years in the capital city, far from my hometown.

Category 26: Fragments and missing verb. Add subject 'I' and verb 'spent' to form a complete sentence and combine the fragment 'Far from my hometown' with the main clause using a comma.

× But we usually used to go to my hometown once in awhile.

✓ But we usually used to go to my hometown once in a while.

Category 20: 'awhile' vs 'a while' distinction: 'once in a while' requires two words. Also 'used to' and 'usually' together can be redundant but acceptable; you could say 'we usually went to my hometown once in a while' or 'we used to go to my hometown occasionally.' Suggest: 'we used to go to my hometown once in a while.'

× Absolutely yes, because there are so many opportunities like for example, you, you can find plenty of job opportunities as well.

✓ Absolutely yes, because there are many opportunities; for example, you can find plenty of job opportunities.

Category 4: Redundancy and filler words ('you, you') and awkward phrasing. Remove duplicate words and 'like' before 'for example.' Use a semicolon or period to separate clauses. Modal use is acceptable but clean phrasing improves clarity.

× You can also find some excellent university where you can pursue your higher education and.

✓ You can also find some excellent universities where you can pursue higher education.

Category 22: 'some excellent university' should be plural 'universities' or 'an excellent university.' Remove trailing 'and.' Also 'higher education' does not need 'your' but may accept it; plural fits context.

× Lastly, many companies offer some training courses in my hometown.

✓ Lastly, many companies offer training courses in my hometown.

Category 26: 'some' is unnecessary here. Sentence is otherwise correct. Suggest removing 'some' for natural phrasing.