Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be consistent in tense and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence (I work as an auditor), then add concise supporting details (years of experience and main duties). Use present simple for current job and reduce hesitations.

예시: I work as an auditor and have done so for about five years since graduating from university. My main responsibility is examining clients' financial statements to ensure accuracy and compliance with regulations.

제안: Use present tense and more precise vocabulary. Give one clear sentence about location (e.g., company type or area) then add one specific detail about the building using a linking word (for example or also). Avoid vague adjectives like "nice" without specifics.

예시: I work in a recently established office building in the commercial district. For example, the workspace has modern glass partitions and integrated smart systems for lighting and temperature control.

제안: Answer directly and support with precise reasons using linking words. Replace hesitations and vague phrases with specific benefits (e.g., efficient meetings, automated building management) and keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, it's a great place to work because it has modern facilities. For example, smart meeting rooms speed up collaboration and an AI building-management system makes the environment comfortable and efficient.

제안: Express preference clearly and use precise terms like "hot-desking" or "flexible seating." Explain one specific advantage and link it to how it affects you (productivity or comfort). Remove fillers and redundant phrases.

예시: Yes, I love it because we use flexible seating rather than fixed desks. This hot‑desking arrangement lets me choose a comfortable spot and helps me concentrate better on my tasks.

제안: Give a clear, concise plan with specifics and use a confident tone. Start with a topic sentence (I plan to move into X industry), then add concrete goals and a time frame, avoiding vague phrases like "maybe."

예시: In the next five years I plan to move into the financial advisory sector to build on my auditing experience. I aim to gain advanced skills in financial modelling and client advisory through on‑the‑job training and professional courses.

× I worked for.

✓ I have been working.

The student used simple past 'I worked for' which is incomplete and incorrect for describing current employment. Use present perfect continuous 'I have been working' or present perfect 'I have worked' to show an action that began in the past and continues to the present. Also 'for' needs an object (duration). Suggestion: 'I have been working for around five years.'

× I have worked for around five years after graduated from university.

✓ I have worked for around five years since I graduated from university.

Mixing 'have worked' (present perfect) with 'after graduated' is incorrect. Use the preposition 'since' with a point in time or use 'after I graduated' with past simple. Correct structure: 'since I graduated' or 'after I graduated' with matching tenses. Also add subject 'I' before 'graduated'.

× My current role is an auditor.

✓ My current role is auditor.

Article 'an' before job titles is optional; however both 'an auditor' or 'auditor' are acceptable. The original sentence is grammatical but redundant with previous past sentences; keep consistent present tense for current role. Slightly more natural: 'I am an auditor.'

× Umm. My daily routine was to examine client financial statements.

✓ My daily routine is examining clients' financial statements.

The student used past 'was' though they describe a current routine; use present tense 'is' or present continuous 'involves examining'. Also possessive plural is 'clients' financial statements' and 'examine' should be gerund after 'routine'.

× I worked in one of a newly established office building.

✓ I work in one of the newly established office buildings.

Tense should be present 'work' for current employment. Article and noun number: 'one of the newly established office buildings' requires plural 'buildings' after 'one of'. Also use 'the' before 'newly established' when specifying among a group.

× It's quite nice and new.

✓ It's quite nice and new.

This sentence is grammatical. No change needed. Keep simple descriptive adjectives in present tense.

× It is prettily decorated and designed with many new technologies inside.

✓ It is nicely decorated and equipped with many new technologies.

'Prettily decorated' is unusual; 'nicely decorated' is more natural. 'Designed with many new technologies inside' is awkward; use 'equipped with' for technologies. Keep present tense for a current description.

× Yes, I definitely think so.

✓ Yes, I definitely think so.

This sentence is correct and fits the context; no change required.

× It is newly decorated with modern technologies, for example, umm smart meeting rooms and AI management.

✓ It has been newly decorated and fitted with modern technologies, for example smart meeting rooms and AI management systems.

Use 'has been newly decorated' or 'is newly decorated' both acceptable; 'fitted with' or 'equipped with' is better than 'decorated with' for technologies. Add 'systems' after 'AI management' for clarity.

× It would be such a nice and pleasant experience to work over there.

✓ It is such a nice and pleasant place to work.

Using 'would be' suggests conditional; since the student works there, use present simple 'is'. 'Work over there' is informal; 'place to work' is more natural. Keep tense consistent.

× Yes, I love the place where I work because, umm, I don't have a fixed seat that I need to attend to every day, but uh, a flexible work workplace.

✓ Yes, I love the place where I work because I don't have a fixed desk that I need to use every day; it's a flexible workplace.

Use 'desk' instead of 'seat' and 'use' instead of 'attend to'. Remove filler words. 'Flexible work workplace' is awkward; 'flexible workplace' or 'hot-desking system' is better. Keep present tense.

× I could, umm, work in a rather comfortable position.

✓ I can work in a comfortable position.

Use present ability 'can' rather than conditional 'could' when describing a general fact about the workplace. 'Rather' is optional. 'Position' may imply posture; 'work comfortably' or 'comfortable position' is acceptable; simpler: 'I can work comfortably.'

× I would love to transfer to a related industry where I can develop my current experience to next level and also to accumulate much more experience to develop new skills in the next 5 years maybe.

✓ I would love to move to a related industry where I can develop my experience to the next level and gain more skills over the next five years.

Replace 'transfer' with 'move' for jobs/industry. Use 'develop my experience to the next level' with 'the'. Avoid repeating 'to' verbs; use parallel verbs 'develop' and 'gain'. 'Accumulate much more experience to develop new skills' is wordy; simplify to 'gain more skills'. Spell out numerals in formal speech: 'five years'. 'Maybe' is unnecessary; remove for clarity.