Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽고 의도는 명확하지만 문법 오류와 불필요한 말버릇(umm, yeah)이 많습니다. 문장을 더 간결하게 만들고 주제를 명확한 토픽 문장으로 시작한 뒤 이유를 1~2개로 제한해 구체적인 예를 추가하세요. 또한 시제와 동사 형태(예: "I'm a big fan", "it relieves me", "it reduces my stress")를 교정하세요.

例: Yes, I'm a big fan of shopping. I find it relaxing because looking at new clothes helps distract me from stressful thoughts. For example, when I have a stressful week at work, browsing stores or online shops calms me down and lifts my mood.

提案: 답변 구조가 불분명하고 문법 및 어휘 선택 오류가 있습니다. 질문에 직접 답한 뒤 이유를 하나 또는 두 개만 제시하고 구체적인 기준(브랜드, 품질, 소재, 할인 여부 등)을 언급해 논리적으로 연결어를 사용하세요. 중간의 중복 표현과 미완성 문장을 없애세요.

例: It depends on the product. For clothes I usually compare prices because I want good quality for a fair price, so I check different brands and stores. However, for small accessories I often buy the cheaper option if it looks fine, since the price difference is usually not worth the effort.

提案: 의미는 전달되지만 문법과 문장 구성에 문제가 있습니다. 먼저 간단한 주제문으로 답한 뒤 구체적인 이유(사이즈, 색상, 핏 등)를 연결어(with, because)를 사용해 설명하고 한두 문장으로 마무리하세요. 또한 불필요한 반복(예: "M or S" 두 번)과 어색한 표현을 제거하세요.

例: Yes, I often find it hard to decide. I usually hesitate between sizes and colors because the same design can fit differently in different stores. For instance, I might choose between M and S depending on the brand's sizing chart and how the fabric feels.

提案: 주제에 대한 명확한 입장을 제시했고 예시도 있어 좋습니다. 다만 불필요한 말버릇을 줄이고 표현을 더 자연스럽게 다듬으세요(예: "brand reputation" 대신 "brand name"). 또한 한 문장마다 연결어를 사용해 이유와 예를 명확히 구분하면 더 논리적으로 들립니다.

例: I don't think so, because a higher price doesn't always mean better quality. For example, two headphones may have the same features, but one is more expensive mainly because it comes from a well-known brand rather than offering superior sound quality.

× Yes, I'm really big fan of shopping.

✓ Yes, I'm really a big fan of shopping.

'big fan' requires the indefinite article 'a' before a singular count noun. Add 'a' to make the noun phrase grammatically correct. Suggestion: Include 'a' before 'big fan' whenever referring to being a fan of something.

× I really enjoy shopping because umm it really get rid of any umm weird thoughts in my head and yeah also I'm seeing beautiful clothes is that relieves me it reduce my stress.

✓ I really enjoy shopping because it really gets rid of weird thoughts in my head, and also seeing beautiful clothes relieves me and reduces my stress.

Multiple subject-verb agreement and verb form errors: 'it' with singular subject requires 'gets' not 'get'; 'I'm seeing' is unnatural here—use the gerund phrase 'seeing beautiful clothes'; 'is that relieves me' is incorrect structure; use 'relieves me'; 'it reduce' should be 'it reduces'. Suggestion: Ensure verbs agree with their subjects and use gerunds for activities (seeing), and keep parallel structure when listing effects.

× Umm, it depends on the items that I would buy.

✓ Umm, it depends on the items that I buy.

Use of 'would' is unnecessary and incorrect for a general present habit. Use simple present 'buy' after 'depends on' to indicate general situations. Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual or general statements.

× But umm, in case of clothes umm yeah, it takes umm much price.

✓ But when it comes to clothes, they often cost a lot.

'In case of clothes' is awkward; 'it takes much price' is ungrammatical. Use 'when it comes to' and a clear subject 'they' referring to clothes, with 'cost a lot' to express high price. Suggestion: Use natural idioms like 'when it comes to' and proper verbs for cost.

× So I really compare the prices among clothes that I want to buy umm but whenever it is a kind of accessories which.

✓ So I really compare the prices of the clothes I want to buy, but not for accessories.

'Prices among clothes' is awkward—use 'prices of the clothes'. 'Whenever it is a kind of accessories which' is incomplete and ungrammatical; clarify the idea with 'but not for accessories.' Suggestion: Use 'of' for possession and avoid incomplete clauses.

× Absolutely, I had very a variety of experiences that I didn't may make a choice.

✓ Absolutely, I had many experiences where I couldn't make a choice.

'Had very a variety' is incorrect order and article usage; use 'many experiences' or 'a variety of experiences'. 'didn't may make' mixes auxiliary 'did' with modal 'may' incorrectly; the intended meaning is inability—use 'couldn't'. Suggestion: Use correct word order for 'a variety of' and choose the appropriate modal or past tense auxiliary.

× Umm, for example, I really compare the size of the same clothes.

✓ Umm, for example, I often compare the sizes of the same clothes.

'Compare the size' should be plural 'sizes' when comparing items; add adverb 'often' to reflect habitual action. Use plural 'sizes' and 'of the same clothes' -> 'of the same item' or 'of clothes of the same design.' Suggestion: Match singular/plural and use adverbs for frequency.

× Yeah, especially like M or S size between M or S and also the color of the same design.

✓ Yeah, especially comparing M and S sizes, and also the colors of the same design.

Awkward preposition and repetition. Use 'comparing M and S sizes' and plural 'sizes' and 'colors' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'comparing X and Y' and plural nouns when discussing multiple options.

× Umm, I don't think so, because it doesn't guarantee that expensive items are always high quality.

✓ Umm, I don't think so, because that doesn't guarantee expensive items are always high quality.

Slight word order preference: 'that doesn't guarantee' clarifies the referent; original is understandable but can be improved for natural flow. Suggestion: Place 'that' before 'doesn't guarantee' to clearly refer to the previous statement.

× Umm, for example there are similar function of two headphones, but umm, just only because they are uh, more famous, so they could be more expensive.

✓ Umm, for example, two headphones can have similar functions, but simply because one is more famous, it can be more expensive.

'There are similar function of two headphones' is ungrammatical—use 'two headphones can have similar functions.' 'Just only because they are more famous' is redundant; use 'simply because' and adjust pronouns to agree ('one' vs 'they'). Suggestion: Use clear subject ('one' or 'a brand') and avoid redundant words like 'just' and 'only' together.