Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences).

例: Yes, I enjoy shopping because it helps me relax after a busy day. For example, browsing stores or trying on clothes distracts me from stress and makes me feel refreshed.

提案: Use correct verb tenses and grammar, avoid trailing off. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then explain with specific details using linking words (e.g., because, therefore).

例: Yes, I always compare prices because I want to get good value. Besides price, I also check quality; for instance, I will pay more for food or clothing if the material and workmanship are clearly better.

提案: Avoid unnecessary prefacing and correct sentence structure. State your position clearly, then provide one concrete explanation with linking words. Remove confusing or unclear phrases.

例: Not really. Usually I make decisions easily because I shop with a list or a clear idea of what I need. For example, if I need a new shirt I go directly to that section and compare a few options before buying.

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Give a clear opinion, then support it with a specific example and linking words (e.g., however, for example). Use correct vocabulary (fabric, brand).

例: No, expensive items are not always better. For example, I always check the fabric and stitching when buying clothes; sometimes mid-range brands have better materials than expensive labels, so I judge by quality rather than price.

× Yes, I, I really like shopping. I think shopping can actually reduce my, uh, kind of stress or something.

✓ Yes, I really like shopping. I think shopping can actually reduce my stress.

The phrase 'my, uh, kind of stress or something' uses filler and an awkward pronoun phrase. Replace with 'my stress' for clarity and correct pronoun use. Remove hesitation words and vague phrases.

× Definitely, I did compare price when I doing shopping cause uh, I think sometime I not only compare the price but also the quality of them.

✓ Definitely, I compare prices when I shop because I sometimes compare not only the price but also the quality.

'Compare price' should be plural 'compare prices'. 'When I doing shopping' is ungrammatical; use 'when I shop'. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. Also avoid 'them' after 'quality' by rephrasing. These changes correct pluralization and verb forms.

× Definitely, I did compare price when I doing shopping cause uh, I think sometime I not only compare the price but also the quality of them.

✓ Definitely, I compare prices when I shop because I sometimes compare not only the price but also the quality.

'When I doing shopping' wrongly uses 'doing' with base verb; use simple present 'when I shop' or 'when I'm shopping' (be + -ing). This fixes the use of verb + -ing form.

× If the quality of the clothes like for example or the food, I think I would definitely pay more for the for which the quality is best or better. However.

✓ If the quality of the clothes or the food is better, I would definitely pay more for the items with the better quality.

Original sentence uses awkward pronouns and word order ('for the for which'). Rephrase to 'items with the better quality'. Also ensure verb 'is' agrees with singular subject 'quality'.

× I think that this is a good question, but for me, I don't think it's quite difficult because when I doing shopping or I'm going to shopping, I actually have a go or have her, uh, the something I really want to buy.

✓ I think this is a good question, but for me it's not very difficult because when I'm shopping I usually have an idea of something I really want to buy.

Multiple structural issues: 'when I doing shopping' should be 'when I'm shopping'; 'have a go or have her' is unclear and incorrectly formed. Replace with 'have an idea' to convey intent. Also change 'I don't think it's quite difficult' to 'it's not very difficult' for natural phrasing.

× So every time I bring my, I had actually bought a gold to search or to look for the things I want to buy.

✓ So every time I go, I actually look for the things I want to buy.

Original uses incorrect past tense and wrong verbs: 'I had actually bought a gold' makes no sense. Replace with simple present 'I go' and 'look for' to match habitual action. This fixes tense and verb choice errors.

× I think this is a quick question but of course not. I think sometimes when I because I'm actually a person who really like buying clothes.

✓ I think this is a good question, but of course not. Sometimes I do want to buy clothes because I'm a person who really likes buying clothes.

'Really like buying clothes' needs third person singular agreement 'likes' because subject 'I' with relative clause 'who really likes'. Also 'quick question' is odd here; 'good question' fits. Ensure present tense consistency: 'sometimes I do want' or 'sometimes I want'.

× So every time I'm going to buy clothes I would firstly try or touch the for up fabric of that clothes and sometime I think some brand of clothes are actually bad.

✓ So every time I'm going to buy clothes I first feel the fabric of the clothes, and sometimes I think some brands are actually low quality.

'Would firstly try or touch the for up fabric' is ungrammatical. Use 'first feel the fabric'. 'That clothes' should be 'the clothes' and 'some brand of clothes are' should be 'some brands are' (plural). Also 'bad' is vague; 'low quality' is clearer. This corrects adjective/adverb and noun number issues.

× So every time I'm going to buy clothes I would firstly try or touch the for up fabric of that clothes and sometime I think some brand of clothes are actually bad.

✓ So every time I'm going to buy clothes I first feel the fabric of the clothes, and sometimes I think some brands are actually low quality.

'Some brand of clothes are' mixes singular 'brand' with plural verb 'are'. Use plural 'brands' to agree with 'are', fixing subject-verb agreement. Also correct other agreement issues like 'sometime' to 'sometimes'.