Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and awkward phrasing, and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words if you expand (e.g., because, so).

例: Yes, I enjoy shopping. I usually shop at discount stores because I want to save money for future business expenses, so I focus on bargains and practical purchases.

提案: Reduce hesitations and clarify your reasons. Give one clear reason for comparing prices and an example. Use linking words (for example, because) to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I always compare prices because it helps me find the best value. For example, I check prices online and in-store and then bargain if a shop charges more than competitors.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then give one short supporting detail. Avoid repetition and hesitations. Use linking words like because or so to connect ideas.

例: No, I don’t find it difficult to choose what to buy because I plan my purchases beforehand. For instance, I make a shopping list before I go to the store, which makes decisions quick and easy.

提案: Make your opinion clear and support it with one specific reason or example. Avoid unclear words and long hesitations. Use linking words such as however or but to show contrast.

例: No, I don’t think expensive products are always better. For example, some brands charge more for their name, but cheaper alternatives can be equally durable and perform well, so I compare quality rather than price alone.

× Well, I like shopping, but I do shopping in different ones because I want to save my money for the future purposes necessary for my business activities.

✓ Well, I like shopping, but I shop at different places because I want to save money for future business needs.

Original uses 'do shopping' and 'in different ones' which are awkward and incorrect forms. Use the present simple verb 'shop' for habitual action (verb in present participle/gerund forms are not appropriate here). 'Do shopping' is unidiomatic in this context; 'shop' or 'go shopping' is correct. 'Different ones' should be 'different places'. Remove 'my' before 'money' when speaking generally and simplify 'future purposes necessary for my business activities' to 'future business needs' for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I compare, uh, prices in shop because, uh, the comp, the subscribers, uh, are telling more amounts of the goods, uh, goods, uh, goods means that things, clothes, which is very uh, which can we get in a cheap price as well as by bargaining with them.

✓ I compare prices in shops because some sellers list higher prices for items like clothes, and we can often get a cheaper price by bargaining with them.

Original has incorrect preposition 'in shop' (should be 'in shops' or 'at shops') and unclear phrasing 'the comp, the subscribers'. 'Sellers' or 'vendors' is appropriate. 'More amounts of the goods' is ungrammatical; use 'higher prices for items'. 'Get in a cheap price' is incorrect preposition and article usage; use 'get a cheaper price' or 'buy them more cheaply'. This correction fixes prepositions and clarifies meaning.

× Uh, I usually, uh, make a mind while going to the shop or to what kinds of things I want to buy.

✓ I usually make up my mind before I go to the shop about what kinds of things I want to buy.

Original 'make a mind' is incorrect collocation; correct expression is 'make up my mind'. Also tense and word order: use 'before I go' rather than 'while going'. Adding 'about' clarifies the object of the decision. This corrects present tense use and collocation.

× So there are there for me, there are, there are not, uh, for me, uh, for me, there are no different difficult for my shopping.

✓ So shopping is not difficult for me.

Original is repetitive and ungrammatical. Simplify to a clear subject-verb structure 'shopping is not difficult for me'. This corrects sentence structure and removes redundant words.

× Uh, I think insults can condition, uh, it happens, but uh, everywhere it is not uh, included because many subscriptions are far further and they, they sells their items, items in high price, but the actual price of it's is lower than the, uh, the actual price. So I think it.

✓ I think expensive brands can be better sometimes, but not always, because many stores sell items at high prices even though their actual cost is lower.

Original uses 'insults', 'subscriptions' and confusing quantifiers/phrasing. Replace with 'expensive brands' or 'expensive products'. 'Many subscriptions are far further' is meaningless; likely 'many shops' or 'stores' is intended. Correct verb agreement 'they sell' rather than 'they sells'. Clarify contrast 'at high prices even though their actual cost is lower'. This addresses incorrect use of quantifiers and improves clarity.