Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using a linking word. Avoid unnecessary references to gender and repeated phrases.

例: Yes, I enjoy shopping. For example, on weekends I often visit nearby supermarkets to browse new products and do some window shopping, which helps me relax and find inspiration for meals and gifts.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear reason and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct grammar (e.g., "I am not rich" -> "I don't have a large budget") and avoid repetition. Be specific about how you compare prices.

例: Yes, I always compare prices because I have a limited budget. Usually I check online retailers first and then compare those prices to what I see in stores, and I also read reviews to make sure I get good value.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then explain with a clear reason and one example. Use linking words (e.g., "however", "because") and avoid filler words. Fix grammar and phrasing (e.g., "I would worry I might regret not buying it").

例: Not usually. However, when I really like two similar items I find it hard to choose because I worry I might regret not buying the other one, so I compare features and prices before deciding.

提案: Provide a clear opinion and support it with a specific reason or example, using linking words. Correct minor grammar ("I have never found them to be lower quality"). Mention exceptions to show balance.

例: No, I don't think so. Generally cheaper items can be just as good; for instance, I often buy affordable electronics that work well. However, sometimes more expensive brands offer better materials or warranties, so I evaluate each product individually.

× Yes, as a girl I do love shopping a lot.

✓ Yes, as a girl I really love shopping.

The original uses 'do love' which is acceptable for emphasis but sounds awkward with 'a lot' after 'as a girl'. Replace 'do love ... a lot' with 'really love' for natural phrasing and correct pronoun reference stays same.

× On weekends when I have time, I would go to nearby supermarkets and do some window shopping.

✓ On weekends when I have time, I go to nearby supermarkets and do some window shopping.

Use simple present to describe habitual actions. 'Would' is conditional/idiomatic for past habits and not appropriate for regular present routines. Use 'go'.

× Yes I do. I am not rich or wealthy so competitive price is a necessary step in my shopping.

✓ Yes, I do. I am not rich or wealthy so comparing prices is a necessary step in my shopping.

The phrase 'competitive price' is incorrect here. The intended action is 'compare prices' or the noun 'comparing prices'. Also punctuation: add comma after 'Yes'. Change structure to 'comparing prices is a necessary step' to match subject-verb agreement.

× The place where I'm most compared to will be online shopping.

✓ The place I compare prices most often is online shopping.

Original misuses passive/comparative structure. 'I'm most compared to' is ungrammatical. Use active structure 'I compare prices most often' and state location 'online'.

× When I go shopping offline and I I see the price I will compare you to the products online.

✓ When I go shopping in stores and see a price, I compare it to the prices of products online.

Original has repetition 'I I' and incorrect pronoun 'you' instead of 'it' or 'the price'. Use 'in stores' for 'offline', 'a price' and 'compare it to the prices online' for clarity and correct pronouns.

× Not usually, but if there are two items that I want you own that will trouble me.

✓ Not usually, but if there are two items that I want to own, that will trouble me.

Original has incorrect pronoun 'you' instead of the infinitive marker 'to'. Use 'want to own' to express desire to possess items.

× I wanna making choices.

✓ I want to make choices.

Informal 'wanna' should be 'want to' in formal speech, and after 'want to' use the base verb 'make', not the -ing form. So 'want to make' is correct.

× I would think if I would regret if I do not buy this Umm that helped me a lot in my decision making.

✓ I would think about whether I would regret it if I did not buy it; that helps me a lot in making decisions.

Original mixes conditionals incorrectly. Use 'whether' and the correct sequence: 'would regret it if I did not buy it' (second conditional) and consistent tense 'helps' or 'that helps me' in present. Also replace 'do not' with 'did not' for hypothetical past form and fix pronouns 'it'.

× No, I don't think so. I usually buy cheaper products and I have never find them less quality than the expensive ones.

✓ No, I don't think so. I usually buy cheaper products and I have never found them to be of lower quality than the expensive ones.

Use present perfect 'have never found' plus past participle 'found'. 'Less quality' is incorrect; use 'of lower quality'. Also add 'to be' or 'to be of' for correct structure.

× I think expensive ones are selling their brand names rather than the better quality.

✓ I think expensive ones are selling their brand names rather than better quality.

Remove the definite article 'the' before 'better quality' because it's a general comparison. Also 'are selling' is acceptable, meaning 'expensive products sell their brand names more than better quality' but phrasing 'selling their brand names rather than better quality' is clearer.