History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail. Avoid repeating phrases like “interesting” and fix word choice (e.g., “made me interested”).

例: Yes. I studied basic Japanese history from elementary through high school. For example, I learned about the samurai and the Meiji Restoration, which sparked my interest in both Japanese and world history.

提案: Use natural phrasing and avoid incorrect words (e.g., “flown by” is wrong). Give one or two specific methods teachers use and link ideas with a connective.

例: I usually learn history at school from my teachers. They present key events with timelines and primary-source images, so I can understand the causes and effects more easily.

提案: Make the statement clearer and use precise vocabulary. Replace “old people” with “past generations” and explain one concrete benefit with a brief reason or example.

例: Learning history helps us avoid repeating the mistakes of past generations. For instance, studying past economic crises can teach policymakers to regulate financial markets more carefully.

提案: Avoid repetition of previous answers and rephrase with clearer grammar. Provide a topic sentence and one specific supporting reason or example. Use “past generations” or “previous societies” instead of “old people.”

例: Yes, I think it is important because it teaches us lessons from past societies. For example, understanding the causes of past wars can help diplomats work to prevent similar conflicts today.

× From elementary school to high school I have learned basic Japanese history, which was really interesting and that made me interesting in learning Japanese history and world history too.

✓ From elementary school to high school I learned basic Japanese history, which was really interesting and made me interested in learning Japanese history and world history too.

Errors: 'have learned' is present perfect but the context is past schooling so simple past 'learned' is better (Present tense issue ID 6 also relevant but primary here is adjective/verb form). 'That made me interesting' misuses the adjective 'interesting' which describes things; the student needed the adjective 'interested' to describe a person. Suggestion: Use 'made me interested' to express a change in feeling. Also remove redundant 'that' and use consistent past tense.

× I usually learn history at school, flown by teachers.

✓ I usually learn history at school, taught by teachers.

Error: 'flown' is the past participle of 'fly' and is incorrect in this context. The correct past participle is 'taught' (teach - taught - taught) to indicate teachers instruct students. Suggestion: Use 'taught by teachers' to show passive meaning.

× They give historical events and explain them clearly and deeply so that I can understand more easily, and it's really fun to learn.

✓ They present historical events and explain them clearly and in depth so that I can understand them more easily, and it's really fun to learn.

Errors: 'give historical events' is awkward; use 'present' or 'teach' for delivering content. 'Deeply' is an adverb but collocation 'in depth' is more natural when describing explanation. Also 'understand more easily' should be 'understand them more easily' to include object. Suggestion: Use natural collocations: 'present', 'explain ... in depth', and include 'them'.

× By learning history, we can prevent making the same mistakes that old people have had made.

✓ By learning history, we can avoid making the same mistakes that older people made.

Errors: Wordiness and incorrect tense combination 'have had made' is ungrammatical. Use simple past 'made' to refer to past mistakes. 'Prevent making' is grammatical but 'avoid making' is more natural. Also 'old people' can sound insensitive; 'older people' or 'people in the past' is preferred depending on meaning. Suggestion: Use 'avoid making the same mistakes that older people made.'

× Yes, I believe so, because by learning we can prevent us from making the same mistakes as old people.

✓ Yes, I believe so, because by learning we can prevent ourselves from making the same mistakes as older people.

Error: 'prevent us from' is incorrect after 'we can'; reflexive pronoun 'ourselves' is required: 'we can prevent ourselves from...'. Also 'old people' -> 'older people' is more neutral. Suggestion: Use reflexive pronoun with 'we' and a natural adjective for people in the past: 'ourselves' and 'older people'.