History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on giving a clear topic sentence and then one or two concise supporting details. Use correct grammar (articles, verb forms) and reduce hesitations. Organize ideas: state that you studied history at school, mention one or two topics covered (e.g. wars, national development), and avoid repeating phrases.

例: Yes, I studied history at school. We learned about major events such as wars and how Nepal developed over time, although some topics were explained only briefly.

提案: Give a direct answer first (e.g. mostly online or from books), then add one or two specific examples and link them with words like 'for example' or 'for instance'. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases. Correct collocations: 'learn from online platforms', 'explain origins and causes'.

例: I mostly learn history online. For example, I watch educational videos on YouTube and short clips on TikTok that explain events, their causes, and how people solved problems.

提案: Start with a clear opinion sentence (e.g. Learning history helps us understand our identity) and then give one specific benefit with a short explanation. Use precise vocabulary: 'origins', 'identity', 'lessons from the past'. Avoid long, repetitive clauses.

例: Learning history helps us understand our origins and identity. For instance, by studying past successes and mistakes we can make better decisions today and build a stronger society.

提案: Answer directly (Yes or No) then support with specific reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'for example'. Use correct nouns and plural forms: 'culture and traditions', 'origins'. Keep to two or three sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I think history is important because it explains our origins and traditions. For example, learning about traditional festivals helps younger people understand and preserve cultural practices.

× Yes I have there was an subject call an socially study which provide in general knowledge of issue what was happened in Umm, our beginning of Umm war, war times and the how the Nepal developed and the process was explained in history but not clearly but some are the points which was developed in a certain period.

✓ Yes, I have. There was a subject called Social Studies which provided general knowledge about issues that happened, such as the beginning of the war, war times, and how Nepal developed; the process was explained in history, although not clearly, but some points showed development in certain periods.

This sentence has multiple sentence structure problems (run-on sentence, missing connectors, and unclear clauses). Break the run-on into clearer sentences, correct verb forms (call -> called, provide -> provided), use articles and proper noun capitalization (Social Studies), and clarify relative clauses (what was happened -> that happened). Suggestion: split ideas into shorter sentences and use consistent past tense when referring to past classes and events.

× To be honest, uh, there due to digital technology, there are the different sources to learn from loan or extreme how they develops or how it origins, uh, such as platform of TikTok and the YouTube.

✓ To be honest, due to digital technology there are different sources to learn from, for example platforms like TikTok and YouTube, which show how things develop and how they originate.

Preposition and prepositional phrase misuse ('there due to' incorrect, 'learn from loan or extreme' unclear). Use 'due to' before the reason, 'different sources to learn from' is fine, and 'for example' to introduce examples. Also correct verb forms (develops -> develop) and remove articles ('the YouTube' -> 'YouTube'). Suggestion: use standard phrases like 'for example' and 'platforms like' and keep verbs plural to match 'platforms'.

× They provide a different source and how and they, I mean the clear and uh, ending process.

✓ They provide different content that shows the clear process and conclusion.

Pronoun use is confusing and redundant ('they' unclear, 'the clear and uh, ending process' awkward). Replace vague pronouns with specific nouns ('content') and use 'conclusion' or 'final outcome' instead of 'ending process'. Suggestion: be specific about what 'they' refers to and choose precise nouns.

× The benefits of sharing history will definitely know about us, how we origin and the what are the factors that we have left over the period of our times and what we are increasing to do in our life and how we are how we build ourselves.

✓ The benefits of studying history help us know our origins, the factors that affected us over time, what we are doing in our lives, and how we build ourselves.

Article and word choice errors ('the benefits of sharing history will definitely know about us' is ungrammatical). Use 'studying history' not 'sharing history' if meaning learning, 'origins' plural, and avoid unnecessary articles ('the what'). Suggestion: use clear subject-verb structure ('help us know') and concise phrases.

× Yeah, from my point of view, I think learning issues and, uh, essential parts of our lives because it helps to know that how our origin is developed and how we, umm, celebrate our culture and traditional.

✓ Yes, from my point of view, I think learning history is an essential part of our lives because it helps us understand how our origins developed and how we celebrate our culture and traditions.

Adjective/adverb and noun form errors ('learning issues' wrong, 'traditional' used as noun). Use 'learning history' or 'historical issues' and 'essential' as adjective for 'part'. Use plural 'traditions' and correct verb forms ('helps us understand'). Suggestion: match noun forms and use correct collocations ('essential part', 'celebrate traditions').

× Nowadays we don't usually celebrate our culture and tradition because of digital technology we infuse from it.

✓ Nowadays we don't usually celebrate our culture and traditions because of the influence of digital technology.

Incorrect verb/phrase 'infuse from it' is wrong; here a noun 'influence' is needed. Also use plural 'traditions'. Suggestion: replace incorrect verb phrase with 'the influence of' to show cause.