History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more grammatically correct, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Use correct verb forms and smoother linking words.

例: Yes, I have studied history throughout school. For example, in elementary and junior high I learned local history, and in high school I studied Taiwanese, Chinese and world history, which helped me understand how events in different countries are connected.

提案: Be more specific and use clearer sequence markers. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'texts' instead of 'contacts') and link steps logically. Limit to up to five sentences.

例: I usually read a text about the topic first. Then I create a timeline of the key events and dates, and finally I review the timeline several times to memorize the sequence. This method helps me remember cause and effect more clearly.

提案: Give a clear main idea, then add two specific benefits with brief explanations. Use natural phrasing and linking words like 'for example' and 'because'. Avoid awkward expressions like 'have the alert'.

例: There are several benefits to learning history. For example, it teaches us about important international events, which helps us understand current affairs, and it allows us to learn from past mistakes so we can avoid repeating them in the future.

提案: State your opinion clearly and support it with one or two concise reasons with natural linking words. Use more precise vocabulary instead of vague phrases like 'improve more fluently'.

例: Yes, I think history is very important because it helps society learn from past mistakes. By studying past events, people can make better decisions and prevent similar problems from happening again.

× Yes, I have been study history when I was in elementary school or even junior high.

✓ Yes, I studied history when I was in elementary school and junior high.

The original mixes present perfect continuous ('have been') with base form 'study' and a past time reference 'when I was'. Use simple past 'studied' to match the past time reference. Suggestion: Use simple past for completed actions at a specific past time: 'I studied history when I was in elementary school.'

× Moreover high school students I all have taken history classes and I learned no matter Taiwan, Taiwanese or Chinese and the foreign countries history.

✓ Also, in high school I took history classes covering Taiwan, Taiwanese, Chinese, and foreign history.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and unclear phrasing ('no matter Taiwan, Taiwanese or Chinese and the foreign countries history'). Rearranged to correct subject placement and list items. Use simple past 'took' for past education. Suggestion: Keep subject, verb, and objects in natural order and use parallel items in a list.

× Well, I would read a passage and during those contacts I would make a list about the timeline that the contacts mentioned and after the list I would practice all and memorize.

✓ Well, I read a passage and while doing so I made a timeline of events mentioned and then practiced and memorized it.

Original misuses 'would' and 'contacts' (wrong noun) and awkward phrases. Use simple past 'read', replace 'during those contacts' with 'while doing so' and 'make a list about the timeline' with 'made a timeline of events'. Use parallel verbs 'practiced and memorized'. Suggestion: Use correct nouns and concise verb forms when describing habitual or past study methods.

× I will say there are a lot of benefits of learning history.

✓ I would say there are a lot of benefits to learning history.

'I will say' is odd in this context; 'I would say' or 'I think' is more natural. Also use 'benefits to learning' rather than 'of learning' for common collocation. Suggestion: Use 'would say' or 'I think' and 'benefits to learning'.

× For example, you can know some important international events during that time.

✓ For example, you can learn about important international events that happened during that time.

Use 'learn about' rather than 'know' and clarify 'that happened' to indicate past events. Suggestion: Use 'learn about' + object and include a verb for events.

× Moreover, people can learn a lesson from that historic event and raise people's awareness about we should have the alert.

✓ Moreover, people can learn lessons from historic events and become more aware so they can be alert.

Original mixes 'people' and 'people's' awkwardly and uses ungrammatical clause 'aware... about we should have the alert.' Rephrase to 'become more aware' and 'be alert'. Suggestion: Use clear pronoun references and natural collocations: 'become more aware' and 'be alert'.

× I would say it's very important.

✓ I would say it is very important.

Contraction 'it's' is acceptable in speech; corrected to full form for formality. Tense is fine. Suggestion: Either form is acceptable; keep consistency with register.

× Nowadays we have to raise our awareness about some historic events and avoid repeating some mistakes and this would let our society improve more fluently.

✓ Nowadays we need to raise our awareness of historic events to avoid repeating mistakes and help our society improve.

Original uses awkward phrasing 'raise our awareness about some historic events' and 'improve more fluently' which is incorrect collocation. Rephrase: 'raise awareness of', 'avoid repeating mistakes', and 'help our society improve'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations and concise structure: purpose clause 'to avoid...' and result 'help... improve'.