Gifts— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答总体清楚且有例子，但有几处问题：1) 人称代词使用不准确（“him”应明确指代）；2) 句子有些冗长且重复（比如“improve his control and make him more comfortable”意义重叠）；3) 可略微使用连接词使逻辑更流畅；4) 控制在五句话内即可。建议改进重点：注意代词指代一致，精简表述，使用连接词（for example, so, therefore）并补充一两词的背景细节以显得具体。

例: Yes. I usually choose gifts based on the person’s hobbies. For example, my father enjoys table tennis, so for his birthday I bought him a high-quality racket to help him improve his control and enjoy the game more.

提案: 回答直接且合乎逻辑，但存在小语法问题（如“are more memorable”应与主语一致），句子略长且可更自然。建议改进重点：将句子分为主题句和支持句，修正主谓一致，加入连接词如“mainly”或“mostly”，并给出一小个例子或理由以增加具体性。

例: I mainly give gifts on birthdays and special holidays such as Father’s Day or Mother’s Day. These occasions are more memorable, so I try to choose something meaningful to celebrate them.

提案: 内容合理但表达不够简洁准确：1) “consider about”是不正确的用法，应为“consider”或“think about”；2) “predictability”用词不恰当，可能想说“whether the gift is expected/surprising”；3) 第一部分重复“meaning”。建议改进重点：用更精确的词汇（surprise, affordability, personal significance），并用连接词列举要点，提供具体例子。

例: First, I consider the personal meaning of the gift because I want it to create a lasting memory. Second, I think about affordability and whether the gift will be surprising or expected.

提案: 回答内容真诚但有语法和用词错误：1) “careless”用反了，应为“care”或“carefulness”；2) 句子过长且信息密集，应拆分为两句；3) 可补充更具体的情感细节或结果来丰富内容。建议改进重点：修正词汇，分句表达情感，并添加一两句说明该礼物为何特别（例如什么时候穿、对你的意义）。

例: Not really — I’m not good at making things myself. However, my girlfriend once knitted a jersey for me, which really touched me because she spent many hours on it and I could feel her care and affection.

提案: 观点有条理但表达不够地道且有语法错误：1) “spend much money on it”更自然为“spend a lot of money on them”或“cost a lot”; 2) “if you want to business with other people”应改为“if you want to do business with someone”; 3) 结尾“also make sense”语序和搭配不恰当，应为“also make sense”或“also make good sense”，并可给例子说明何时适合昂贵礼物或手工礼物。建议改进重点：改正短语用法，提供比较并用连接词（however, on the other hand），给具体场景。

例: To some extent, expensive gifts can show your feelings because they often cost more and look impressive. For example, in business settings it may be appropriate to give a costly gift to a client. However, for close friends or family, a thoughtful handmade gift can be more meaningful.

× Of course, I think I know my parents and friends well, so I would send him gifts according to their hobbies.

✓ Of course, I think I know my parents and friends well, so I would send them gifts according to their hobbies.

句中代词“him”与先行词“my parents and friends”（复数、含多个人）不一致，应该用复数宾格代词“them”。建议复核代词所指对象的人数并选择相应的代词。

× For example, my father loves to play table tennis, so when it comes to his birthday, I would send him a table tennis racket, which would improve his control and make him more comfortable.

✓ For example, my father loves to play table tennis, so when it comes to his birthday, I send him a table tennis racket, which improves his control and makes him more comfortable.

原句使用“would”导致时态不一致。描述习惯性或常规行为应使用一般现在时或一般现在时叙述过去/惯常行动的结果，用“send/improves/makes”更自然。建议将虚拟语气“would”替换为一般现在时或一般现在时叙述习惯性动作。

× Well, I would say I really give gifts to others when it comes to their birthdays or some holidays like Father's Day or Mother's Day, because I think sending gifts to other people in these days are more memorable.

✓ Well, I would say I usually give gifts to others on their birthdays or on holidays like Father's Day or Mother's Day, because I think giving gifts on these days is more memorable.

存在时态与词汇搭配问题：用“would say”可以，但描述惯常行为更适合用“usually”；“in these days”用法不当，应为“on these days”或更自然的“on these occasions”；主语单数“giving gifts”对应谓语应为“is”而非“are”。建议使用“usually/on/on these days”和主谓一致。

× Well, what I consider first is the meaning of the gift, which would bring special memory and meaning to these people.

✓ Well, what I consider first is the meaning of the gift, which brings special memories and significance to these people.

原句中“would”使语气不必要地假设化，且“memory”用复数“memories”更符合语境，且“meaning”重复使用显得冗余，可用“significance”。建议用一般现在时描述普遍事实，并调整名词单数/复数和用词以避免重复。

× Second, I would consider about the price and predictability of these gifts.

✓ Second, I would consider the price and suitability of these gifts.

动词 consider 不与介词 about 连用（在此语境下不需要），应直接宾语“consider the price”。另外“predictability”用词不当，可能想表达“是否合适”或“是否可预测”，用“suitability”更贴切。建议去掉“about”并选择更合适的名词。

× Not really because I'm not a person who is good at making handmade things, but I have received a handmade jersey from my girlfriend which moved me a lot because she spent a lot of time and effort on it and I could feel her love and careless to me.

✓ Not really, because I'm not good at making handmade things, but I once received a handmade jersey from my girlfriend which moved me a lot because she spent a lot of time and effort on it and I could feel her love and care for me.

句中“careless to me”用法错误，意为“粗心”，与语境不符，正确应为“care for me”（关心我/用心制作）。同时可删去冗余的“a person who is”。建议使用“care for me”并简化表达。

× Well, to some extent, expensive things could show your feelings better because you spend much money on it.

✓ Well, to some extent, expensive things can show your feelings better because you spend a lot of money on them.

“could”在此处语气过于弱化，常态判断用“can”；“much money”与可数复数物品搭配不当，常用“a lot of money”；代词“it”应与“things”（复数）一致改为“them”。建议使用“can/a lot of money/them”。

× For example, if you want to business with other people, sending to your business partner expensive gifts is really suitable.

✓ For example, if you want to do business with other people, sending expensive gifts to your business partner is appropriate.

动词短语应为“do business”，不能直接用“business”作动词；“sending to your business partner expensive gifts”中语序不自然，应将“sending expensive gifts to your business partner”；此外“suitable”在此语境用“appropriate”更自然。建议使用正确动词短语并调整词序。

× But sometimes I think handmade crafts are also make sense.

✓ But sometimes I think handmade crafts also make sense.

原句中多余的“are”导致结构错误，应直接使用主语+谓语“handmade crafts make sense”。建议去掉“are”。