Gifts— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Fix accuracy and clarity: avoid the mistake 'getting gifts' (means receiving) — say 'giving gifts'. Keep sentences concise (max 4–5). Add one clear linking phrase and a short specific example. Improve vocabulary by using words like 'consider', 'personalised' and 'appreciate'.

例: Yes, I'm good at giving gifts. I usually consider the recipient’s tastes and habits, so I choose a personalised present. For example, I bought my father a leather wallet because he needed something durable, and he was really appreciative.

提案: Remove repetition and correct grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one linked detail. Clarify cultural point with a concise explanation. Use linking words like 'usually' and 'however' correctly.

例: I usually give gifts on people’s birthdays because I think birthday presents are meaningful. However, in China we don't often exchange gifts at festivals, except for close family members.

提案: Eliminate stuttering and complete the example. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific, finished example using a linking word like 'for example'. Use precise vocabulary: 'hobbies', 'preferences', 'practical'.

例: I consider their hobbies and preferences when choosing a gift. For example, because my mother loves cooking I once bought her a high-quality cookbook and a set of utensils; for a friend who enjoys painting I gave a set of watercolor paints.

提案: Speak clearly and organize the story: state 'yes' then give a short chronological account using linking words (e.g., 'when', 'because', 'so'). Avoid filler words and repeated fragments. Use clearer vocabulary for the gift (e.g., 'a handmade card' or 'a drawing').

例: Yes. When I was a child I couldn’t afford to buy a present for my mother’s birthday, so I drew a handmade card with a picture of a cake. She was very moved and kept it for years.

提案: Remove repetition and improve phrasing. Start with a clear opinion sentence, then give a contrasting reason with a linking word like 'however' and a brief example. Use vocabulary such as 'impression', 'significance', 'thoughtful'.

例: I think expensive gifts can sometimes impress someone and show effort. However, thoughtful gifts often express feelings better; for instance, a letter or a handmade gift can be more meaningful than an expensive item.

× For example, for my parents and friends birthday, I choose a suitable present based on their tastes and habits, so the gift feels personal.

✓ For example, for my parents' and friends' birthdays, I choose suitable presents based on their tastes and habits, so the gifts feel personal.

Plural possessive and count noun: 'parents and friends birthday' needs plural possessive ('parents'' and 'friends'') and 'birthday' should be plural because referring to multiple people. 'a suitable present' should be plural 'suitable presents' to match multiple recipients, and 'the gift feels' should be 'the gifts feel' to agree with plural subject. Suggestion: mark possession with apostrophes and keep number agreement between subjects and nouns.

× They usually appreciate that I pay attention to what they like and that makes me feel I gave the right present.

✓ They usually appreciate that I pay attention to what they like, and that makes me feel I gave the right present.

Missing comma before coordinating conjunction joining independent clauses improves clarity. Also tense is mixed: 'I gave' refers to past; context suggests present perfect or simple present. However only punctuation correction is required by list; keep 'I gave' if referring to past. Suggestion: use a comma before 'and' when connecting two independent clauses and consider 'I have given' if emphasizing past experience.

× In my memory, I usually give gifts to others when when for their birthday, for their their birthday gifts.

✓ As far as I remember, I usually give gifts to others for their birthdays.

Awkward preposition and repetition: 'In my memory' is not natural; 'As far as I remember' is appropriate. Remove duplicate words 'when when' and 'their their' and redundant phrase 'for their birthday gifts'. Use plural 'birthdays' for multiple people. Suggestion: simplify to a single phrase indicating time and correct preposition 'for'.

× And actually there is actually in China, we don't exchange gifts often in in festivals.

✓ And actually, in China, we don't exchange gifts often at festivals.

Word order and preposition: 'there is actually in China' is erroneous; place 'in China' earlier. Use preposition 'at' for festivals rather than 'in'. Remove duplicated 'actually' and 'in'. Suggestion: 'And actually, in China, we don't exchange gifts often at festivals.'

× I will consider I will consider their their hobbies and taste.

✓ I will consider their hobbies and tastes.

Repetition and number agreement: duplicate phrases removed. 'Taste' should be plural 'tastes' to match 'hobbies' and multiple people. Suggestion: avoid repeating and ensure parallel plural forms.

× For example, my mom loves cooking so I was I once I once sent a. My to her and my my friends love painting.

✓ For example, my mom loves cooking, so once I sent her a cooking-related gift, and my friends love painting.

Tense and word order confusion, repetitions and fragment: remove duplicated words, fix past action 'once I sent' and complete the object ('a cooking-related gift'). Combine clauses correctly and maintain tense consistency. Suggestion: keep clauses concise and ensure every verb has a clear object.

× Umm, yes, in my memory, when I when I write that little little small child and I don't have money to buy the gift when my mom's birthday came, can I, I picked it.

✓ Umm, yes, I remember when I was a little child and I didn't have money to buy a gift when my mom's birthday came, so I picked one I made.

Tense and pronoun errors: 'write' should be 'was' (past tense). Use past tense consistently ('didn't have', 'came'). Clarify pronoun reference and object. Suggestion: use 'I remember when I was a little child' and maintain past tense for past events.

× I, I draw a I draw a Bush which they cake soft for her.

✓ I drew a picture of a flower which looked like a cake decoration for her.

Incorrect tense and unclear nouns: 'draw' should be past 'drew' to match past narrative. Original nouns 'Bush' and 'they cake soft' are incoherent; replace with a clear noun phrase. Suggestion: when describing past handmade gifts, use clear nouns and past tense verbs.

× She was really moved. I, I, I still remember.

✓ She was really moved. I still remember it.

Repetition and missing object: remove repeated 'I' and add object 'it' to 'remember' for clarity. Tenses are fine; keep past 'was' and present 'remember'. Suggestion: avoid filler repetitions and complete sentences with necessary objects.

× Do expensive gifts better express your feelings?

✓ Do expensive gifts better express your feelings?

This is a question form; grammatically acceptable. No correction needed. (Included for completeness.)

× Sometimes expensive gifts can show how much attention someone has paid and may use to impress the recipient.

✓ Sometimes expensive gifts can show how much attention someone has paid and may be used to impress the recipient.

Missing passive construction: 'may use to impress' is ungrammatical; correct form is 'may be used to impress'. Suggestion: use 'be' + past participle when forming passive with modal verbs.

× However, price price doesn't always matter. Thoughtful or meaningful gifts can express express feelings even more efficiently.

✓ However, price doesn't always matter. Thoughtful or meaningful gifts can express feelings even more effectively.

Repetition and word choice: remove duplicate words 'price price' and 'express express'. Use 'effectively' instead of 'efficiently' for expressing emotions. Suggestion: avoid repetition and choose collocations ('express feelings effectively').