Gifts— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct verb forms and articles, and limit to maximum 5 sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., because, so, for example). Be specific about the gift and why it suited the friend.

例: Yes, I consider myself good at giving gifts because I pay attention to my friends' interests. For example, my friend Lily enjoys computer games, so I gave her a mechanical keyboard that matched her hobby and improved her gaming experience.

提案: Clarify timing and phrasing, correct grammar, and use linking words for coherence. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add specific examples and reasons. Avoid repetition and fix awkward phrases (e.g., "should search interests", "when I my when").

例: I usually give gifts on my friends' birthdays because it's a special occasion to celebrate. If there isn't a birthday coming, I still choose meaningful presents based on their interests, and I often give small things like chocolates or a handwritten note to cheer a friend who is feeling down.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve word choice and grammar. Start with a concise topic sentence, then provide specific supporting details and examples. Use linking words (for example, besides) correctly and choose accurate vocabulary (e.g., "special chocolate" not "dedicate").

例: I consider my friends' interests as the most important factor when choosing a gift. For example, if a friend loves sweets, I might give a special box of high-quality chocolate; besides, I also think the symbolic meaning of a gift matters, so I try to choose items that express appreciation or friendship.

提案: Improve tense consistency and remove repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then explain reasons with specific details. Use past tense consistently for past events and avoid repeating phrases like "that would make her that would make her".

例: Yes, I have: at the end of the semester I gave my teacher a handwritten letter and some homemade cookies. I chose these gifts to show my appreciation and to offer something personal and meaningful that would make her happy.

提案: Refine sentence structure and linking phrases. Provide a clear opinion sentence, then support it with reasons and a specific example. Remove small grammatical errors (e.g., "because as they").

例: No, I don't think expensive gifts express feelings better. I prefer handmade presents because they show thought and effort; for example, a handmade photo album can convey care and memories in a way an expensive item cannot.

× Yes, I think I'm good at giving gifts because I always pay attention to my friends interest in my daily life when I communicate with them.

✓ Yes, I think I'm good at giving gifts because I always pay attention to my friends' interests in my daily life when I communicate with them.

Possessive plural noun needs an apostrophe (friends') and 'interest' should be plural (interests) to match 'friends' and general repeated interests; also correct possessive improves clarity.

× So I always send write gift to my friends.

✓ So I always send the right gift to my friends.

The intended adjective is 'right' not 'write'; 'right' describes correctness of the gift. 'Write' is a verb and is incorrect here.

× For example, my friend Lily is my friend.

✓ For example, my friend Lily enjoys computer games, so I sent a keyboard as her birthday gift.

Original repeats 'my friend' and lacks coherence; corrected sentence fixes redundancy, combines clauses logically, uses past or present tense consistently for an example, and clarifies 'birthday gift'.

× Lily enjoys the computer games so I send the keyboard as her gift.

✓ Lily enjoys computer games, so I gave her a keyboard as a gift.

Use 'computer games' without 'the' and match tense: for a past example use 'gave' instead of 'send'; 'gave her a keyboard as a gift' is natural word order.

× Birthday gift.

✓ It was a birthday gift.

Fragment 'Birthday gift' lacks a verb; adding 'It was' creates a complete sentence and clarifies meaning.

× The most important time I give gifts is on my friend's birthdays.

✓ The most important time I give gifts is on my friends' birthdays.

Possessive plural 'friends'' is needed because referring to birthdays of friends in general; original singular possessive 'friend's' implies one friend.

× So when no friends birthday is coming I try to pick a meaningful present that should search interests.

✓ So when no friend's birthday is coming, I try to pick a meaningful present that matches their interests.

Original has multiple errors: missing possessive in 'friends birthday' should be 'friend's birthday' or rephrased; 'should search interests' is ungrammatical—use 'matches their interests' to convey intent. Also added comma for clarity.

× I also give small gifts like chocolate or a handwritten note when I my when my friend is feeling down to cheer them up and show my care.

✓ I also give small gifts like chocolates or a handwritten note when my friend is feeling down to cheer them up and show my care.

Remove duplicated words 'I my when my'; use plural 'chocolates' as a typical countable item in this context; pronoun 'them' is acceptable for gender-neutral singular but 'my friend' is singular—'them' is okay informally; could use 'him or her' for formality.

× I think the most significant factor is my friend's interests.

✓ I think the most significant factor is my friends' interests.

If referring to friends in general, use plural possessive 'friends''; if referring to one friend, keep 'friend's' and clarify. Context shows general reference.

× So I always choose the gifts that suit my friends interests.

✓ So I always choose gifts that suit my friends' interests.

Remove unnecessary 'the', use plural possessive 'friends'' and 'gifts' plural is natural when speaking generally.

× For example, I will choose a dedicate chocolate for my friends who loves to eat it.

✓ For example, I will choose a delicious chocolate for friends who love to eat it.

'Dedicate' is incorrect; likely intended 'delicious' or 'special'. Also adjust verb agreement: 'friends who love' (plural) not 'friends who loves'.

× Besides, I think the symbol is also important.

✓ Besides, I think symbolism is also important.

'The symbol' is vague; 'symbolism' or 'the symbolic meaning' fits better to express importance of meaning behind gifts.

× Yes. At the end of the semester, I give my teacher a handwritten letter and some handmade cookies.

✓ Yes. At the end of the semester, I gave my teacher a handwritten letter and some handmade cookies.

Use past tense 'gave' to describe an action that happened in the past ('At the end of the semester'). Present tense 'give' is inconsistent with time reference.

× I choose these gifts because I wanted to show my appreciation and to give something personal and meaningful that would make her that would make her happy.

✓ I chose these gifts because I wanted to show my appreciation and give something personal and meaningful that would make her happy.

Use past tense 'chose' to match 'wanted'; remove duplicated phrase 'that would make her' and simplify. Also parallel structure: 'show' and 'give' match 'wanted'.

× Do expensive gifts better express your feelings?

✓ Do expensive gifts better express your feelings?

This question is grammatically acceptable as-is; no correction necessary.

× No, I don't think expensive gifts express feelings better.

✓ No, I don't think expensive gifts express feelings better.

Sentence is acceptable; no correction needed.

× I prefer giving handmade presents because as they show my appreciation and I think they're meaningful.

✓ I prefer giving handmade presents because they show my appreciation and I think they're meaningful.

Remove unnecessary 'as' which is redundant and ungrammatical here; 'they show' is clear.

× For example, a handmade photo album can convey care in a way money can't.

✓ For example, a handmade photo album can convey care in a way money cannot.

Contraction 'can't' is acceptable informally but 'cannot' is slightly more formal; both are correct. No major grammar error.