Gifts— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and correct the negative-to-positive phrasing. Add one brief supporting detail with a linking word.

例: Yes, I enjoy giving gifts because they make my friends happy. For example, I often choose small thoughtful presents that match their hobbies, so they feel appreciated.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer and organize supporting details with linking words. Remove filler words and be specific about occasions.

例: I usually give gifts on special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, and New Year. Additionally, I sometimes give presents on anniversaries or when a friend achieves something important.

提案: Clarify your main point in one sentence and support it with a specific reason. Use linking words and avoid hesitations. Say what you consider (usefulness, meaning, recipient's preferences) clearly.

例: I prioritize whether a gift will be useful to the recipient because practicality gives a gift lasting value. For instance, I might choose a quality notebook for a friend who likes writing.

提案: Correct vocabulary and be concise. Start with a topic sentence, then add a short example describing what you made and why it mattered, using linking words.

例: Yes, I often give handmade gifts because they feel more personal. For example, I once knitted a scarf for my sister, and because it was handmade she appreciated the effort and emotion behind it.

提案: State your opinion clearly and support it with one specific reason and an example. Avoid fillers and incorrect word choices; use linking words like 'because' or 'for example.'

例: No, I don't think expensive gifts are better because true sentiment comes from thoughtfulness rather than price. For example, a heartfelt letter or a small handmade item can mean more than an expensive gadget.

× I like to give give gifts to my friends because I think it can make my friends happy.

✓ I like to give gifts to my friends because I think it can make them happy.

Redundant word 'give' should be removed; also avoid repeating 'my friends' twice—use pronoun 'them' for concision. Use present infinitive 'to give' correctly.

× That can't make me happy too.

✓ That also makes me happy.

Using 'can't make me happy' contradicts intention; change to affirmative present tense 'makes' with adverb 'also' to match context. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'that' (referring to giving gifts) takes singular verb 'makes'.

× To be honest, I give gifts to others and uh, special days just like uh, Christmas Day, uh, happy uh, birthday or New Year is very memorable and uh, meaningful.

✓ To be honest, I give gifts to others on special days such as Christmas, birthdays, or New Year because these occasions are memorable and meaningful.

Original sentence mixes clauses awkwardly and misuses conjunctions. Use preposition 'on' with 'special days', 'such as' to list examples, pluralize 'birthdays' and make the predicate clear: 'these occasions are memorable and meaningful.' This fixes sentence structure and preposition use.

× Or in my opinion, I think is it is the most important thing is that is for I think, uh, uh, the gift will help others in future, umm, that uh, gives meaning.

✓ In my opinion, the most important thing is that the gift will help others in the future and give them meaning.

Remove fillers and redundant phrases; reorder to subject 'the most important thing' followed by a clear copular verb 'is' and a noun clause. Use 'in the future' and 'give them meaning' for clarity and correct pronoun use.

× Yes, of course I like to do head work because I think it's very, uh, meaningful and it can give some emotion to others.

✓ Yes, of course I like to do handmade work because I think it's very meaningful and can convey emotion to others.

'Head work' is incorrect word choice; replace with 'handmade work' or 'handmade gifts'. Use 'convey emotion' rather than 'give some emotion' for appropriate verb collocation. Remove unnecessary commas and filler.

× That's what I, what I wanted expressed.

✓ That's what I wanted to express.

Original word order is incorrect. Use infinitive 'to express' after 'wanted' to form correct verb phrase.

× Do expensive gifts better express your feelings?

✓ Do expensive gifts express your feelings better?

Adverb placement: 'better' should follow the verb phrase 'express your feelings'. Move 'better' to the end to form correct comparative adverb placement.

× No, I don't think so. I think uh, the expensive gift is some not so important because uh umm, press cons instead of what you want to express.

✓ No, I don't think so. I think an expensive gift is not that important because it can press on the occasion instead of showing what you want to express.

Original sentence has article and word choice errors. Use 'an expensive gift' with article. 'Not that important' is natural phrasing. The phrase 'press cons' is unclear; guessed intent—if meaning 'puts pressure on the occasion' or 'focuses on material value instead of expression' provide clearer alternative: 'it focuses on material value instead of showing what you want to express.' Adjust verb forms and word choice accordingly.