Gifts— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'gift' not 'beef'). Add one or two specific examples to illustrate your point. Keep to a maximum of 4–5 sentences and use linking words like 'for example' or 'because'.

例: Yes, I enjoy giving gifts because it makes me feel connected to my family and friends. For example, I usually buy a small, thoughtful present like a book or a watch when someone has a birthday or achieves something. I prefer meaningful items rather than expensive ones because they show I was thinking about the person.

提案: Avoid unclear phrases and fillers. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give two specific occasions and a brief reason. Use linking words such as 'for example' and 'because' to make your answer coherent. Remove hesitations like 'uh' and incorrect address 'giving you'.

例: I usually give gifts on special occasions or when someone achieves something. For example, I buy a small meaningful present for birthdays or when a friend passes an exam because it makes them feel appreciated. Giving thoughtful gifts on these occasions strengthens our relationships.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and organize points with linking words. Use correct collocations ('valuable' or 'useful', 'suitable for the occasion') and give brief reasons for each consideration. Avoid short abrupt sentences; combine with connectors such as 'also' or 'for example'.

例: I consider whether a gift is meaningful, useful and suitable for the occasion. For example, I choose a watch if the person likes accessories, a perfume if they enjoy fragrances, or a book if they like reading, because these gifts are both attractive and practical.

提案: Start with a direct answer and then provide one or two specific examples of handmade items you made and why they were appreciated. Reduce vague instructions ('you have to') and focus on your experience. Use linking words like 'for example' and 'because'.

例: Yes, I often give handmade gifts, especially homemade cards decorated with photos and personal messages. For example, I once made a scrapbook for a friend with memories from our trips, which she loved because it felt personal and thoughtful.

提案: Give a clear opinion sentence and support it with specific reasons and an example. Correct grammar mistakes ('expensive gifts express your feelings' not 'can better express') and word choice ('handwritten letter' not 'light a letter'). Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

例: No, I don't think expensive gifts express feelings better because thoughtfulness matters more than price. For example, a handwritten letter or a small handmade item can be more meaningful than an expensive present, since it shows personal effort and emotion.

× Yes, I think I'm good at giving gifts because I love to give gift to someone, to my close friend, to my parents, to my siblings.

✓ Yes, I think I'm good at giving gifts because I love giving gifts to someone, to my close friends, to my parents, and to my siblings.

Use gerund 'giving' after 'love' and plural 'gifts' and 'friends'. Also add 'and' before the last item in a list for natural coordination. Suggestion: use 'love giving gifts to...' or 'I love to give gifts to...'.

× Like when they achieve something, when there is a birthday, when there's occasion.

✓ Like when they achieve something, on their birthday, or on an occasion.

Use the definite possessive 'their birthday' for someone's birthday; use article 'an' before 'occasion'. Also 'on' is the correct preposition for events. Suggestion: say 'on their birthday' or 'on special occasions'.

× I just love to give them a beef.

✓ I just love to give them a gift.

'a beef' is incorrect and likely a lexical error; 'gift' fits the context. Suggestion: use the appropriate noun relevant to the topic.

× Even it's small, but it's valuable and precious and it's lovely to give them.

✓ Even if it's small, it's valuable and precious, and it's lovely to give them.

Do not use both 'even' and 'but' together; use 'even if' to introduce a concessive clause or simply remove 'but'. Also combine adjectives with commas. Suggestion: 'Even if it's small, it's valuable and lovely to give.'

× I think I am good at giving you.

✓ I think I am good at giving gifts.

'Giving you' is incorrect here because the intended object is 'gifts', not the person 'you'. Use the gerund noun 'giving gifts' or 'giving presents'. Suggestion: 'I enjoy giving gifts.'

× So I enjoy choosing thoughtful presents to my family and friends when they achieve something, especially on their birthdays, especially on their results or any special events.

✓ So I enjoy choosing thoughtful presents for my family and friends when they achieve something, especially on their birthdays, their results, or other special events.

Use 'for' rather than 'to' when choosing presents for someone. 'On their results' is awkward; 'their results' or 'when they get good results' is clearer. Suggestion: 'presents for my family and friends' and 'on their birthdays or when they get results'.

× I think a small meaningful gift can make them feel appreciated.

✓ I think a small, meaningful gift can make them feel appreciated.

Insert a comma between coordinate adjectives 'small' and 'meaningful'. Both adjectives modify 'gift'. Suggestion: use comma or 'a small and meaningful gift'.

× I consider how much it is valuable, milestone and beautiful.

✓ I consider how valuable, significant, and beautiful it is.

Adjective order and choice: 'how much it is valuable' is incorrect; use 'how valuable... it is'. 'Milestone' is a noun; use 'significant' or 'milestone-worthy'. Suggestion: 'how valuable, significant, and beautiful it is.'

× Like the thing you are giving to someone should be pretty, should be valuable.

✓ The thing you give someone should be pretty and valuable.

Simplify structure and use correct verb form 'give' instead of 'are giving to'. Combine adjectives with 'and'. Suggestion: 'The thing you give someone should be pretty and useful.'

× Like it can help other people to use it.

✓ It should be useful for the recipient.

Awkward phrasing 'help other people to use it' is unclear. Use 'useful for the recipient' or 'helpful for the person receiving it'. Suggestion: 'It should be something the recipient can use.'

× Like you can gift a watch, a perfume, a book.

✓ For example, you can gift a watch, a bottle of perfume, or a book.

'Perfume' as a count noun needs 'a bottle of' or just 'perfume' without 'a'. Also add 'or' in list and include article consistency. Suggestion: 'a watch, perfume, or a book.'

× Yeah, I mostly gave my friends homemade gift, like homemade cards, and you have to just wrap them up with a beautiful gift paper and you have to put your accessories, jewelry, chocolate, whatever you want to put in that box.

✓ Yeah, I mostly gave my friends homemade gifts, like homemade cards, and I would wrap them in beautiful wrapping paper and put in accessories, jewelry, chocolate, or whatever I wanted in the box.

Plural 'gifts' needed. Use consistent past/habitual phrasing: 'I would wrap' or 'I used to wrap'. 'Gift paper' should be 'wrapping paper'. Avoid 'you have to' in a description of past habit; use 'I would' or 'I used to'. Suggestion: 'I usually give homemade gifts and wrap them in pretty wrapping paper.'

× Do expensive gifts better express your feelings?

✓ Do expensive gifts better express your feelings?

Sentence is grammatically fine; no correction needed. (No change). Suggestion: None.

× No, I don't think so that expensive gifts can better express your feelings.

✓ No, I don't think that expensive gifts better express your feelings.

Remove extra 'so' which is ungrammatical after 'don't think'. Use direct 'I don't think that...'. Suggestion: 'I don't think expensive gifts express feelings better.'

× Because a small, valuable, meaningful and thoughtful gift can also be very precious to other person.

✓ Because a small, meaningful, and thoughtful gift can also be very precious to the other person.

Use 'the other person' or 'another person' with article. Maintain adjective order and commas. Suggestion: '...precious to another person.'

× For example, if you light a letter, handwritten a letter, then it will give a special value to another person's heart.

✓ For example, if you write a handwritten letter, it will have special value for the recipient.

'Light a letter' is incorrect; use 'write a handwritten letter'. 'Give a special value to another person's heart' is awkward; use 'have special value for the recipient' or 'touch the recipient's heart'. Suggestion: 'A handwritten letter can be very meaningful.'

× I don't think that expensive give better express.

✓ I don't think that expensive gifts express feelings better.

'Give' is incorrect form; should be the noun 'gifts'. Also word order: 'express feelings better' is correct. Suggestion: 'I don't think expensive gifts express feelings better.'