Websites— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the websites, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (because, so, for example). Reduce hesitations and repetition. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "photography blogs", "travel guides").

例: I often visit photography blogs and travel guide websites because they help me plan trips and improve my photography. For example, I read route suggestions on travel sites and learn composition tips on photography blogs, so I can prepare my itinerary and camera gear.

提案: Give a clear opening sentence naming a specific favorite site or type, then explain why with specific details and linking words (because, for instance). Avoid repetition and vague words like "etcetera". Mention concrete features (videos, itineraries, maps).

例: My favourite websites are travel vlog platforms like YouTube because many travellers post videos showing itineraries and local tips. For instance, a recent vlog showed a 3-day route with maps and costs, which helped me plan my own trip.

提案: Answer directly: state past vs present usage with clear reasons and linking words (previously... now...). Avoid irrelevant or unclear phrases ("don't have any clothes"). Provide specific examples of what you search now. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Previously I mainly used academic or exam preparation sites because I was studying for tests. Now I visit photography and travel websites more often because I have more free time and want to plan trips and learn photography techniques.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the popular types, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (because, so). Use accurate vocabulary ("short-video platforms", "e-commerce sites") and avoid redundancy. Provide a concrete example of a popular platform or benefit.

例: In my country, short-video platforms and e-commerce websites are very popular because people watch brief clips to relax after work and find online shopping convenient. For example, apps like TikTok are widely used for entertainment, while e-commerce sites save time when buying clothes or electronics.

提案: Give a clear preference sentence then support it with 1–2 specific reasons and a linking word (because, therefore). Contrast briefly with books. Reduce filler words and repetition. Use precise expressions like "more up-to-date" and "faster access".

例: I prefer getting information from websites because they offer faster access and more up-to-date content. For example, news websites update instantly, whereas books can be out of date and take longer to publish.

提案: Answer directly whether you would like one, then explain reasons with specific concerns or benefits. Use linking words (but, because). Avoid vague and confusing phrases; be clear about technical challenges or potential content ideas.

例: I wouldn't create a website right now because it seems technically complicated and I lack web development skills. However, I might consider a simple blog in the future if I learn basic web design or use a website builder.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence summarising a specific lesson learned, then give one concrete example and explain the result using linking words (for example, so, therefore). Avoid repetition and finish the sentence. Be specific about how a website changed your behaviour or skills.

例: Websites have taught me to think independently and plan my life more deliberately. For example, reading travel blogs inspired me to set clear goals and create a detailed itinerary for trips, which has helped me manage time and budget better.

× Well, maybe for now. For me, I often, uh, visit the photography websites and the travel website as I need to. I need to get the information about the idea of the photography and the route of the travel in order to make my own travel plan and take many interest.

✓ For now, I often visit photography and travel websites because I need information about photography ideas and travel routes to make my own travel plans and develop my interests.

The original contains fragmented clauses, repetitions, and awkward phrasing. Recast into a single clear sentence: combine related ideas, remove filler words, use plural forms where appropriate (websites, plans), and use verbs and nouns correctly (develop interests). This improves coherence and readability.

× Well, uh, my favorite website is travel websites as as many, many, many, many uploaders and their travel video video, so I can quickly get the information about their travel plan and the courts, etcetera. So this helps me a lot with my own.

✓ My favorite websites are travel websites because many uploaders post travel videos, so I can quickly get information about their travel plans and routes. This helps me a lot with my own planning.

Subjects and verbs must agree and nouns should match: 'website is travel websites' is inconsistent, so change to plural 'websites are'. Remove repetitions and incorrect words ('video video', 'courts' should be 'routes'). Make sentences concise and ensure verbs agree with plural nouns ('uploaders post').

× Yes, there are too many changes as in the past I just need to focus on the examinations so I just search on the examination website.

✓ Yes, there have been many changes; in the past I had to focus on examinations, so I only searched examination websites.

The original mixes present and past incorrectly. Use past tense 'had to' and 'searched' for past habits or situations. Also change 'there are too many changes' to present perfect 'have been many changes' to indicate change over time.

× But now, now I have free, I'm free and don't have any clothes. So now I just do search about some photography for the travel etc. Right?

✓ But now I am free and don't have any classes, so I search for photography and travel information online.

'Don't have any clothes' is likely a misuse for 'classes'. Remove filler 'now' repetitions and restructure sentence for clarity. Use 'search for' rather than 'do search about' for natural English.

× Well, maybe in my country I think that a short video websites and online shopping websites are really popular as many people tend to watch the short video to kill their time as they experience their work in a day and also online shopping is very convenient for them as they don't need to go there to pick the products.

✓ In my country, short video websites and online shopping websites are very popular because people watch short videos to pass the time after work, and online shopping is convenient since they do not need to go to stores to pick up products.

Original has incorrect articles and pluralization ('a short video websites') and awkward clauses. Use plural nouns consistently, correct article usage, and simplify causal clauses. 'Kill their time' is informal; 'pass the time' is more appropriate.

× Uh, for now, I tend to get information on the websites as I can receive the information to the website in a short time and, and, and websites provides uh, instant information for me compared to book, books, maybe books provides information maybe out of date as they need to take more time to.

✓ For now, I tend to get information from websites because they provide information quickly and instantly, whereas books may contain outdated information and take longer to publish.

Fix prepositions ('from websites' not 'on the websites'), subject-verb agreement ('websites provide' not 'websites provides'), and avoid repetition. Use comparative structure 'whereas' to contrast websites and books, and use present tense correctly for general truths.

× Well, for now I don't have an. I have no idea about this as I think that I have only my own website. Maybe it's a com, maybe a complex process as there will be a lot of requirements and there's some computers control. There are some computers basic knowledge on it.

✓ At the moment I do not have a website and I am not sure about creating one. I think it would be a complex process with many requirements and would require some basic computer knowledge.

Original includes sentence fragments and unclear phrases ('I don't have an. I have no idea'). Combine fragments, remove hesitations, and use correct phrases ('computer control' -> 'computer knowledge'). Ensure logical flow and proper noun phrases.

× Well, maybe through the websites, uh, it helped me that I need to, I need to, uh, I need to have my own, I feel my own thoughts and not to be influenced by the website.

✓ Through websites I learned that I need to form my own opinions and not be influenced by them.

Use correct verb forms: 'it helped me that I need to' is awkward. Use 'learned that I need to' and 'form my own opinions' instead of 'have my own, I feel my own thoughts'. Remove unnecessary repetition and use gerund/infinitive appropriately.

× Also, I need to have a plan to my life and.

✓ Also, I need to make a plan for my life.

Original is incomplete and uses incorrect preposition 'to my life'. Use 'make a plan for my life' for natural expression and complete the sentence.