Cars— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organised: start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (uh, um) and tense/grammar mistakes. Also correct collocations (e.g. 'used to come home once in a blue moon', 'we enjoyed riding with him'). Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I loved traveling by car as a child. My father was an army officer who came home only once in a blue moon, so long car journeys with him felt special. For example, we would drive to the countryside and I still remember the games we played and the views we saw.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence then two specific reasons with clear linking words. Fix grammar (e.g. 'I am not aware of particular brands', 'cars that are spacious', 'safety features'). Avoid unfinished sentences and redundancy.

例: I prefer practical family cars rather than sporty models. Specifically, I like cars that are spacious and have strong safety features, because they can seat my whole family comfortably and protect us on long trips.

提案: Answer directly and correct vocabulary and expressions (e.g. 'I'm hopeless at driving' is okay but avoid awkward phrases like 'rest my chain on the window fan'). Use one or two specific details and link them logically. Keep sentences complete and avoid trailing off.

例: I prefer being a passenger because I'm not confident driving in busy traffic. On long journeys I enjoy watching the scenery and relaxing, which helps me unwind from daily stress.

提案: Start with a clear statement then list one or two activities with linking words. Remove hesitations and correct grammar ('I'm a very patient person', 'listen to podcasts', 'observe my surroundings'). Finish the thought concisely.

例: I usually stay patient and wait, but if the jam lasts a long time I listen to podcasts or read on my phone. Sometimes I also watch people and the traffic to pass the time.

提案: Answer directly and explain with one clear reason and an example. Fix word choice errors ('colours are very important', not 'calculus'; 'there was compelling evidence that white cars are more visible'). Avoid trailing off and unnecessary fillers.

例: Yes, I think car colours matter because they affect visibility and safety. For instance, I read a study showing that white cars are easier to see in foggy conditions, which reduces the risk of accidents.

提案: Answer directly then give 1–2 clear reasons. Use natural expressions (e.g. 'I am working hard to afford a luxury car' rather than 'wearing several hats'). Correct grammar ('one of my dream cars'). Be concise and avoid over-explaining.

例: Yes, I would like to buy an expensive car in the future because I enjoy comfort and performance. If possible, I would choose a Porsche since it has been my dream car for many years.

× I remember those moments vividly because my father was an army officer and he uh, used to come house once in a blue moon whenever he uh, uh, we enjoy riding a lot with him because uh, there was a limited chances to go on a long ride, so I have.

✓ I remember those moments vividly because my father was an army officer and he used to come home once in a blue moon; whenever he did, we enjoyed riding a lot with him because there were limited chances to go on a long ride, so I did.

Multiple verbs describe past habitual actions, so past tense and past habitual forms should be used consistently. 'Come house' is incorrect preposition/use of noun; use 'come home'. 'We enjoy' should be 'we enjoyed' to match past time. 'There was a limited chances' has tense and number errors; use 'there were limited chances'. 'So I have' is incomplete and incorrect tense; use 'so I did' or 'so I made the most of them'. Suggestion: Keep verbs in past tense for past events and match subject-verb number.

× I'm not that aware about particular brand and features because my son knows more about particular categories of car.

✓ I'm not that aware of particular brands and features because my son knows more about particular categories of cars.

Use 'aware of' not 'aware about'. 'Brand' and 'features' need plural forms to match context: 'brands' and 'cars'. Also 'particular categories of car' should be 'categories of cars'. Suggestion: Use 'aware of' and ensure plural agreement when speaking generally.

× But from my personal perspective, I consider car which are spacious enough and have extraordinary security features are more appealing because it can accommodate my family safely.

✓ But from my personal perspective, I consider cars that are spacious enough and have excellent safety features to be more appealing because they can accommodate my family safely.

Subject-verb and noun number need consistency: 'car which are' is wrong; use plural 'cars that are'. 'Extraordinary security features' is awkward; use 'excellent safety features'. Pronoun 'it' must agree with plural 'cars', so use 'they'. Suggestion: Match noun number and pronouns and use natural collocations like 'safety features'.

× I can keep more.

✓ I can carry more.

Sentence is incomplete and uses incorrect verb 'keep' for transporting people or items in a car. 'Carry more' or 'fit more people' is appropriate. Suggestion: Use complete predicate that clearly expresses capacity, e.g., 'I can carry more passengers.'

× I'm really hopeless at driving, especially on the busy Rd. so I love to be passenger.

✓ I'm really hopeless at driving, especially on busy roads, so I love to be a passenger.

'the busy Rd.' is incorrect: 'busy roads' or 'the busy road' with consistent article/capitalization. 'to be passenger' needs indefinite article 'a passenger'. Suggestion: Use proper articles and pluralize 'road' if speaking generally.

× When I'm going taking a long route, I enjoy the sceneries passing by.

✓ When I'm taking a long route, I enjoy the scenery passing by.

Remove redundant 'going' before 'taking'. 'Sceneries' is rarely used; 'scenery' (uncountable) is correct. Suggestion: Use concise verb forms and correct uncountable nouns.

× I love to rest my chain on the window fan and enjoy the winds playing with my ears.

✓ I love to rest my chin on the window and enjoy the wind playing with my ears.

Multiple words are incorrect: 'chain' should be 'chin'; 'window fan' is wrong—use 'window' or 'car window'; 'winds' singular 'wind' is more natural. Suggestion: Use correct vocabulary and singular/plural appropriately.

× So being a passenger I have great opportunity to explore my surroundings as well as unwind myself from daily stress.

✓ So, being a passenger gives me a great opportunity to explore my surroundings as well as to unwind from daily stress.

Missing article 'a' before 'great opportunity' and verb structure needs 'gives me' rather than 'I have'. Also 'unwind myself' is wordy; 'unwind' suffices. Suggestion: Use proper article and clearer subject-verb structure.

× Moreover, my.

✓ (Incomplete sentence)

Sentence is incomplete; there is no predicate or object. Suggestion: Complete the thought or remove the fragment.

× I'm very patient person, so I always wait for my turn and sometimes if traffic congestion is really, uh, taking time to get cleared, uh, then I watch my phone, listen some inspiring podcast or sometime observe my surrounding, the way people are waiting for their turn.

✓ I'm a very patient person, so I always wait for my turn and sometimes, if traffic congestion is taking a long time to clear, I watch my phone, listen to some inspiring podcasts or sometimes observe my surroundings and the way people are waiting for their turn.

Missing article 'a' in 'very patient person'. 'Take time to get cleared' is awkward; use 'taking a long time to clear'. 'Watch my phone' should be 'look at my phone' but 'watch' can work for videos; primary issue corrected to 'watch my phone' kept but added 'listen to' requires 'to'. 'Podcast' plural 'podcasts' fits. 'Sometime observe my surrounding' needs plural 'surroundings' and adverb 'sometimes'. Suggestion: Include necessary articles, correct verb phrases, and plural forms.

× Uh, so it is also one of the convenient way to.

✓ So, it is also one of the convenient ways to pass the time.

Sentence fragment and mismatch: 'one of the convenient way' should be 'one of the convenient ways' and needs completion 'to pass the time' or similar. Suggestion: Complete the sentence and match singular/plural.

× Definitely. Uh, yes, calculus are extraordinarily kind important.

✓ Definitely. Yes, car colours are extraordinarily important.

'Calculus' is incorrect word; likely 'colours' or 'car colors'. 'extraordinarily kind important' is ungrammatical; use 'extraordinarily important' or simply 'very important'. Suggestion: Use correct vocabulary and standard adverb-adjective order ('extraordinarily important').

× I came to know about this especially when I read a research on shades of car where there were lots of compelling evidence which shows that white colored car are more visible on busy as well as foggy roads.

✓ I learned this especially when I read a study on car colours that presented a lot of compelling evidence showing that white cars are more visible on busy and foggy roads.

Use 'learned' or 'came to know' is acceptable but 'read a research' is incorrect; use 'read a study' or 'research study'. 'Shades of car' should be 'car colours'. 'Lots of compelling evidence which shows' -> 'a lot of compelling evidence showing'. 'White colored car are' should be 'white cars are'. Suggestion: Use correct collocations (study, car colours) and subject-verb agreement.

× I also, umm, prefer to.

✓ I also prefer them.

Incomplete sentence; 'prefer to' needs an object or infinitive. If referring to colours, 'prefer them' or 'prefer white cars' is clearer. Suggestion: Complete the sentence with the preferred object.

× Definitely yes, I'm wearing several hats just to enjoy my life more luxuriously and having a comfortable super fast car is also one of my dream and my husband also shared the same passion with me.

✓ Definitely yes. I'm wearing several hats just to enjoy my life more luxuriously, and owning a comfortable, super-fast car is also one of my dreams; my husband shares the same passion.

Mix of present continuous and incorrect noun forms: 'having a ... car is one of my dream' should be 'owning ... car is one of my dreams'. 'My husband also shared' should be present 'shares' if stating current shared passion. Hyphenate 'super-fast'. Suggestion: Use correct noun forms, pluralize 'dreams', and keep tense consistent for current states.

× And whenever I will be able to buy, I will go for Porsche because this is one of my dream car to have.

✓ And whenever I am able to buy one, I will go for a Porsche because this is one of the cars I dream of having.

Avoid 'whenever I will be able'—use 'whenever I am able'. 'Go for Porsche' needs an article 'a Porsche'. 'One of my dream car to have' should be 'one of the cars I dream of having' to correct word order and pluralization. Suggestion: Use correct future-time clause structure and articles, and rephrase 'dream of having' for natural English.