Cars— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct vocabulary (use 'scenery' instead of 'skins'), start with a clear topic sentence and add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition about enjoyment and mood.

例: Yes, I enjoyed traveling by car as a child. I found it relaxing to watch the changing scenery, especially countryside fields and rivers, which helped me feel calm and set a positive mood for the day.

提案: Open with a direct statement, correct grammar (e.g., 'I'm not a big fan of cars'), and give one or two specific reasons with clearer linking words. Avoid vague phrases like 'you can do anything.'

例: I'm not particularly interested in cars, but if I had to choose I like Teslas because of their sleek design and advanced technology; for example, their large touchscreens let passengers use apps and play games during long trips.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add specific reason and a brief future intention. Fix awkward phrasing such as 'capacity to drive' -> 'able to drive.' Keep it concise.

例: At the moment I prefer being a passenger because I'm not yet able to drive. However, in the future I would like to learn to drive since it seems exciting and would give me more freedom to travel independently.

提案: Use present simple consistently and avoid repetition. State the routine clearly and give a specific example of what you do on your phone. Correct grammar (e.g., 'traffic jams are annoying'; 'I usually scroll through my phone').

例: Traffic jams are annoying. When I'm stuck, I usually scroll through my phone to catch up on messages or listen to music, and I often text my friends to let them know I'll be late.

提案: State your opinion directly and give a clear reason with a specific example. Fix unclear phrasing like 'buy it every day.' Keep it within a couple of sentences.

例: Yes, I think car colours matter to me because I see my car every day during commutes; a bright, cheerful colour like light blue would lift my mood and make the journey more pleasant.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then two concise reasons with correct grammar. Avoid awkward phrasing ('I will broke my car'). Use modal verbs correctly and be specific about what you mean by 'cheap' or 'expensive.'

例: Probably not. I'm not very interested in cars, so a modest, affordable model would suit me; it's cheaper to maintain, and I worry I might damage an expensive car while I'm still learning to drive.

× Well, definitely yes, and I still do enjoy traveling by car now 'cause it's really interesting and relaxing to watch the amazing skins outside and it will make me calm and have a great mood for the day.

✓ Well, definitely yes, and I still enjoy traveling by car now because it's really interesting and relaxing to watch the amazing scenery outside and it makes me calm and puts me in a great mood for the day.

Used 'do enjoy' is unnecessary; simple present 'enjoy' is more natural. 'Skins' is incorrect word choice; 'scenery' refers to views outside. 'Cause' is informal; use 'because'. Tense and subject-verb agreement: use 'it makes' (present simple) rather than 'it will make' to match habitual action. Use 'puts me in a great mood' for natural phrasing.

× Well I'm not a big fan for a car so I'm not really familiar with the sorts of car but in my opinion Teslas were the best 'cause I loved their appearance and their really technical that you can do anything on it like playing games.

✓ Well, I'm not a big fan of cars so I'm not really familiar with the sorts of cars, but in my opinion Teslas are the best because I love their appearance and their technology allows you to do many things in them, like play games.

Use 'fan of' not 'fan for'; plural 'cars' needed. 'Sorts of car' should be 'sorts of cars'. 'Teslas were' implies past; use 'are' for general opinion. 'Their really technical' is incorrect; use 'their technology' or 'they are very technical'. 'You can do anything on it' should be 'in them' or 'with them' and 'like play games' corrects verb form.

× Well, as a teenager I don't have the capacity to drive right now, so I prefer being a passenger currently. But when I grow up I would like to try being the driver 'cause I think driving is a cool thing that I wanted to experience since I was young.

✓ Well, as a teenager I don't have the ability to drive right now, so I prefer being a passenger currently. But when I grow up I would like to try being the driver because I think driving is a cool thing that I have wanted to experience since I was young.

'Capacity to drive' is awkward; 'ability to drive' is better. 'Would like to try' is fine. Mixed tenses: 'I wanted to experience since I was young' mixes past with present desire; use present perfect 'have wanted' to show a desire continuing from past to now. Replace informal 'cause' with 'because'.

× Well, traffic jams were really annoying. When there's a traffic jam, I guess I usually will scroll on my phone and complain this with my friends that I'm going to be late or sort of things. The traffic jam usually make me get late.

✓ Well, traffic jams are really annoying. When there's a traffic jam, I usually scroll on my phone and complain to my friends that I'm going to be late or say things like that. Traffic jams usually make me late.

Consistency of tense: use present simple 'are' for general statements. Avoid 'I guess I usually will' — use 'I usually' for habits. 'Complain this with my friends' incorrect preposition and structure; use 'complain to my friends'. 'Sort of things' vague; use 'say things like that'. Subject-verb agreement: 'The traffic jam usually make' should be 'Traffic jams usually make' (plural subject with 'make') or 'The traffic jam usually makes me late'.

× Well, for me it's definitely really important since we have to commute, buy it every day. So if the car has a great color, it will influence your day and bring you a great mood and I guess will give me a more optimistic feeling for the day.

✓ Well, for me it's definitely important since we have to commute and use it every day. So if the car has a great color, it will influence your day and put you in a good mood, and I guess it will give me a more optimistic feeling for the day.

'Buy it every day' is incorrect; likely meant 'use it every day' or 'ride in it every day'. 'Bring you a great mood' is awkward; use 'put you in a good mood'. Add missing subject 'it will' before 'give me' for clarity.

× Well, not really 'cause I'm not a big fan of car, so a cheap car would be enough for me. I won't want to have an expensive car. One of the reason might be that I'm not good at driving and I will broke my car someday I guess.

✓ Well, not really because I'm not a big fan of cars, so a cheap car would be enough for me. I don't want to have an expensive car. One of the reasons might be that I'm not good at driving and I will probably break my car someday, I guess.

Use 'fan of cars' (plural). 'I won't want to have' is unnatural for present preference; use 'I don't want'. 'One of the reason' should be 'one of the reasons'. 'I will broke my car' wrong verb form; use 'I will probably break my car' or 'I might break my car'. Added 'probably' for natural hedging. Replaced informal 'cause' with 'because'.