Cars— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitations and fillers.

例: Yes, I loved traveling by car as a child. I enjoyed watching changing landscapes through the window, especially countryside farms and rivers, so long drives felt exciting rather than boring.

提案: Give a clear present preference and support it with specific reasons. Use linking words to structure the answer and avoid vague fillers like 'you know'.

例: I like sports cars because they are powerful and offer a thrilling driving experience. For example, the quick acceleration and low seating position make them feel fast and exciting on open roads.

提案: Answer directly and succinctly. Give one or two relevant reasons with linking words, and avoid repeating phrases.

例: I prefer to be the driver because I enjoy controlling the journey and exploring new places. Also, when I drive on weekend trips I can choose stops and routes that suit my interests.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and then specific typical actions. Mention frequency or context and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: When there is a traffic jam, I usually listen to podcasts or watch short videos on my phone to pass the time. Sometimes I also call friends or family to chat and share updates about the delay.

提案: State your view clearly and support it with one or two specific, accurate reasons. Use linking words and avoid vague words like 'precious'.

例: Yes, I think car colours matter. For instance, dark colours like black absorb more heat and make the interior hotter in summer, while lighter colours such as white reflect sunlight and help keep the car cooler.

提案: Give a clear answer and explain with concrete reasons or conditions. Use appropriate phrasing for future plans and avoid awkward expressions.

例: Yes, I hope to buy an expensive car like a Rolls-Royce in the future once I achieve my career goals and financial stability. I see it as a reward for hard work and a symbol of personal success.

× Yes. The reason behind that is I like to watch different views outside the car when I when I travel and I and I, I very much like the traveling.

✓ Yes. The reason is that I like to look at different views outside the car when I travel, and I really enjoy traveling.

The student repeats words and uses awkward continuous phrasing. 'I like to watch different views' is unnatural; use 'look at different views.' 'When I when I travel' contains repetition. 'I very much like the traveling' has incorrect article and word order; use 'I really enjoy traveling.' This fits present simple preference. Suggestion: remove repetitions, use natural verbs and adverb placement.

× I liked sports car because when it gives the race it it is totally, you know, like very much powerful and and I like the racing cars experience.

✓ I like sports cars because when they race they are very powerful, and I enjoy the experience of racing cars.

The student mixed past and present tense ("I liked" then general preference). Use present simple 'I like' for general likes. 'Sports car' should be plural 'sports cars' when speaking generally. 'When it gives the race' is incorrect; use 'when they race.' Remove filler words and repetition. Suggestion: keep consistent present tense and correct subject number.

× As a, as a car loving person, I definitely like to drive a car because I, I like to travel in different countries and I'm a, I'm a, I'm a person who often travels throughout the weekend.

✓ As a car-loving person, I definitely like to drive because I like to travel to different countries, and I often travel on weekends.

Repeats and awkward phrasing. 'Drive a car' can be shortened to 'drive.' 'Travel in different countries' should be 'travel to different countries.' 'Throughout the weekend' is awkward for habitual action; use 'on weekends.' Remove repeated fillers and keep present simple for habitual actions.

× I usually spend time watching movies or any or attending any video calls with my friends or families and discuss this current situation and experience and give the experience of my point of view.

✓ I usually spend time watching movies or attending video calls with my friends or family, and we discuss the situation and share our experiences and viewpoints.

Use 'family' (uncountable) rather than 'families' in this context. Remove redundant 'any' and repeated words. Use plural 'we discuss' if referring to calls with friends/family. 'Give the experience of my point of view' is awkward; use 'share our experiences and viewpoints.' Keep present simple for habitual action.

× Definitely, because if if we choose black color, then at the very hot temperature, our car will get too much hot from inside and it is uncomfortable to sit.

✓ Definitely. If we choose black, then in very hot weather our car will become very hot inside and it will be uncomfortable to sit in it.

'Black color' is unnecessary; 'black' suffices. 'At the very hot temperature' should be 'in very hot weather.' 'Get too much hot from inside' is ungrammatical; use 'become very hot inside.' Add 'sit in it' for clarity. Remove repetition 'if if.'

× And if we choose white color, it is very much precious that it controls the heat of the surroundings.

✓ If we choose white, it is much better at reflecting heat and keeping the interior cooler.

'White color' -> 'white.' 'Very much precious' is incorrect collocation; use 'much better at reflecting heat.' 'Controls the heat of the surroundings' is unclear; clarify that white reflects heat and keeps the interior cooler.

× Definitely, as I have a dream of buying Rolls Royce cars when I will achieve my desirable goal and meet my every responsibilities to a big achievement.

✓ Definitely. I dream of buying a Rolls-Royce when I achieve my goals and have fulfilled my responsibilities.

When using 'when' to refer to future after 'I achieve', do not use 'will' in the subordinate clause; use present simple 'when I achieve.' 'Desirable goal' and 'every responsibilities to a big achievement' are awkward; use 'my goals' and 'have fulfilled my responsibilities.' Use singular 'a Rolls-Royce' for one car and correct brand punctuation. Simplify and correct tense usage.