Cars— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition (e.g., "in order to"). Use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I loved traveling by car as a child. For example, my family often drove to nearby museums and theme parks to relax, and I especially remember a summer trip to a science museum that fascinated me.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming the type you prefer, then one or two specific reasons with precise vocabulary (e.g., "low emissions", "electric vehicles"). Avoid vague phrases and repetition.

例: I prefer electric or low-emission cars because they reduce air pollution and are cheaper to run. For example, Tesla models appeal to me because they have zero tailpipe emissions and long electric range.

提案: Start with a direct answer (driver or passenger), then give concise, specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler phrases like "whatever I feel like" and repetitive statements.

例: I prefer to be a passenger because I don't know how to drive and I can enjoy the scenery. Also, as a passenger I can relax or use my phone, whereas the driver must concentrate on the road.

提案: Answer directly, then give specific activities and a brief example. Use clearer phrasing (e.g., "tech-savvy"). Avoid vague claims and correct grammar ("traffic congestion is becoming common").

例: When there's a traffic jam, I usually use my phone to watch a short video or read news because I'm tech-savvy. For example, on a recent trip to Jammu and Kashmir we were stuck for two hours, so I watched an episode of a series to pass the time.

提案: Provide a clear opinion first (yes/no/partly), then explain with one cultural example. Use precise grammar and avoid dangling endings. Be concise and relevant.

例: Yes, car colours can be important for cultural or personal reasons. For instance, some people in India prefer red cars because they believe the color brings good luck, while others choose neutral colors for resale value.

提案: Give a direct answer (yes/no) and follow with two clear reasons linked logically. Avoid contradictions and incorrect idiom use; use one idiom correctly if needed (e.g., "cost an arm and a leg").

例: I wouldn't buy an expensive car even though a Porsche is my dream; instead, I plan to choose an affordable, eco-friendly vehicle because it will cost less to run and reduce environmental impact. In short, I prefer practicality over luxury.

× I enjoyed travelling by a car.

✓ I enjoyed travelling by car.

Using the indefinite article 'a' with 'car' is unnecessary when speaking about travel by a mode of transport. English uses the pattern 'travel by car/plane/bus' without an article. Remove 'a' to correct the singular/plural and idiomatic usage.

× I still remember we used to visit different museums, parks and theme parks in order to relax our mind and enjoy the day.

✓ I still remember that we used to visit different museums, parks and theme parks to relax our minds and enjoy the day.

The sentence needs 'that' to introduce the remembered clause (optional but clearer) and the infinitive 'to relax' is preferred over 'in order to relax'. 'Mind' should be plural to match general meaning (our minds). Keep past habitual 'used to' for childhood visits.

× Well nowadays there are lot of cars which are of high speed intensity, good engine but my favorite ones are the motor vehicles which produces or emits less smoke and are quite environment friendly.

✓ Well, nowadays there are a lot of cars that have high speed, good engines, but my favourite ones are the motor vehicles that produce or emit less smoke and are quite environmentally friendly.

Add the article 'a' before 'lot'. Use 'that' for defining clauses and plural nouns for 'engines' and verb agreement 'produce' to match plural 'vehicles'. Use 'environmentally' (adverb) to modify 'friendly'. Also 'high speed intensity' is unnatural; use 'have high speed' or 'are fast'.

× For example Tesla is a good example.

✓ For example, Tesla is a good example.

Add a comma after 'For example' to separate the introductory phrase. Also the phrase is repetitive; consider 'For example, Tesla is a good choice' to avoid redundancy.

× my favorite ones are the motor vehicles which produces or emits less smoke

✓ my favourite ones are the motor vehicles that produce or emit less smoke

When the relative clause refers to plural 'vehicles', use plural verb 'produce' not 'produces'. Also 'or emits' should match plural form 'emit'.

× I don't know driving so I would love to be a passenger whatever I feel like passengers are more likely to enjoy the journey, to visualize the serene and tranquil views rather than the drivers.

✓ I don't know how to drive, so I would love to be a passenger. I feel that passengers are more likely to enjoy the journey and see the serene and tranquil views rather than drivers.

Use 'know how to drive' instead of 'know driving'. Split into two sentences for clarity. 'Whatever' is incorrect here; use 'I feel that'. Use 'see' instead of 'visualize' for natural usage. Remove 'the' before 'drivers' in this contrast.

× It is quite a tiring job and one gets easily bored while driving a car.

✓ It is quite a tiring job, and one can easily get bored while driving.

Add comma before conjunction for readability. Use 'can easily get bored' to express possibility and omit redundant 'a car' after 'driving'.

× I am a tech savvy so during a traffic jam I prefer scrolling my mobile phone either to watch some movie or series.

✓ I am tech-savvy, so during a traffic jam I prefer scrolling on my mobile phone to watch a movie or a series.

Hyphenate 'tech-savvy' and omit article 'a' before it. Use 'scrolling on my mobile phone' and 'a movie or a series' for natural collocation. Remove 'either' which is unnecessary without a paired choice.

× I personally believe that traffic congestions are becoming quite nowadays.

✓ I personally believe that traffic congestion is becoming quite common nowadays.

Use uncountable noun 'congestion' instead of plural 'congestions'. Use 'is becoming' with singular noun and 'quite common' to express increasing frequency. Place 'nowadays' at end for natural word order.

× For example, last time we went to Jammu and Kashmir, we had to wait for a couple of hours in a congestion in order to reach our destination.

✓ For example, the last time we went to Jammu and Kashmir, we had to wait for a couple of hours in a traffic jam to reach our destination.

Use 'the last time' for a specific occasion. 'In a congestion' is unnatural; use 'in a traffic jam'. 'In order to' can be simplified to 'to'. Maintain past tense 'had to wait'.

× Well, talking particularly about car colours, there are many cultures in India and other countries which promotes the colours or different contrast of the colours.

✓ Well, speaking particularly about car colours, there are many cultures in India and other countries that promote different colours or contrasts of colour.

Use 'speaking' rather than 'talking' for topic introduction. Use relative pronoun 'that' with plural 'cultures' and plural verb 'promote'. 'Different contrast of the colours' is awkward; use 'contrasts of colour' or 'different colours'.

× For example, in Hindu religion, there are certain myths and beliefs that if one will buy the red car, they'll have the better future and luck.

✓ For example, in the Hindu religion, there are certain myths and beliefs that if one buys a red car, they will have a better future and more luck.

Use 'the Hindu religion' with article. In conditional sentences, use simple present 'buys' for real condition, not 'will buy'. Use 'they will' instead of contraction 'they'll' for formality; use 'a red car' (no 'the'). Use 'a better future' and 'more luck' for natural collocations.

× So these type of things in.

✓ So these types of beliefs exist.

Original fragment is incomplete. Use 'types' to match plural 'these' and complete the sentence with a verb like 'exist' or 'are common'.

× Porsche is always my dream car, but having grown up I personally believe that investing a huge amount of on cars is quite useless.

✓ A Porsche has always been my dream car, but now that I have grown up I personally believe that investing a huge amount in cars is quite useless.

Use 'A Porsche has always been' for habitual past preference. Use 'now that I have grown up' for clarity. Use preposition 'in' (not 'of' or extra 'on') with 'amount' and include 'in cars'. Remove extra 'on'.

× So rather than buying an expensive car, I would like to go for an environmentally friendly vehicle which will be budget friendly.

✓ So rather than buying an expensive car, I would prefer an environmentally friendly vehicle that is budget-friendly.

Replace 'go for' with 'prefer' for formality and concision. Use 'that is' and hyphenate 'budget-friendly'. Avoid 'which will be' when stating a desirable property.

× I won't. I should not cost me arm and leg.

✓ I won't; it should not cost me an arm and a leg.

Fragment 'I won't.' is unclear but kept as refusal; combine with next clause using semicolon. Use impersonal 'it should not cost me' and the idiom 'an arm and a leg' with articles. Present modal 'should' expresses desire to avoid high cost.