Watch— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly answer the question first. Use one clear topic sentence (Yes/No + reason), then briefly add 1–2 supporting details. Correct tense and word choice (e.g., "I used to wear a watch when I was a kid") and avoid repetitions or filler words.

例: No, I don't wear a watch now, but I used to when I was a child. My sister gave me a white-and-pink watch for my birthday, and I often showed it to my friends because I liked its design.

提案: Start with a direct yes/no and use correct verb forms. Keep sentences clear and limit to 3–4 sentences. Add specific details (where, how it looked) and a clear past-tense narrative. Avoid unsure phrases like "I think I'm lost it"; use "I think I lost it."

例: Yes, my sister gave me a watch as a birthday present when I was a child. I remember choosing it in a small shop; it was pink and white and I loved its floral pattern. Unfortunately, I think I lost it some years later.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence explaining the main reason, then support with 1–2 logical reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Use correct grammar and avoid fillers. Say "to show" or "to display" rather than "to spoil" and fix subject-verb agreement.

例: Some people buy expensive watches to display their wealth and success. For example, a luxury watch is a subtle status symbol, and men who avoid other jewelry may choose a watch to look more professional.

提案: Answer directly and give a balanced opinion with clear reasons and linking words (e.g., "However", "On the other hand"). Correct vocabulary ("wear a watch", "accessory", "professional"). Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition and fillers.

例: I think it depends on the person. For students or many elderly people, wearing a watch is not necessary; however, for professionals a good watch can make them look more polished and punctual.

× Right now but no but back when I was a kid I remember I used to wear a watch which was my birthday gift from my sister.

✓ Right now I do not, but when I was a kid I used to wear a watch that was a birthday gift from my sister.

The original sentence mixes present and past incorrectly and omits auxiliary for negation. Use 'Right now I do not' for present negative. Use 'when I was a kid' and 'used to' for past habitual. Replace 'which was my birthday gift' with 'that was a birthday gift' for clarity.

× I remember that watch has a white and pink color which was very pre pretty and I always show up with my friends and.

✓ I remember that the watch was white and pink, which was very pretty, and I always showed it to my friends.

Use past tense 'was' to match 'remember' about a past object. 'White and pink color' is awkward; 'was white and pink' is natural. Remove duplicate 'pre' and use 'pretty'. 'Show up with my friends' is incorrect here; use 'showed it to my friends' to indicate displaying the watch. Also complete the sentence by removing trailing 'and'.

× Yes, like I mentioned before, when I was a kid my sister gave me a watch as a birthday gift.

✓ Yes, like I mentioned before, when I was a kid my sister gave me a watch as a birthday gift.

This sentence is grammatically correct; past tense 'gave' is appropriate for a past event. No change needed.

× I still remember the time when I go to a store and choose it.

✓ I still remember the time when I went to a store and chose it.

The memory refers to a past event, so use past tense verbs 'went' and 'chose' instead of present tense 'go' and 'choose'.

× It was one of my best birthday gift but I think I'm lost it in somewhere I don't know.

✓ It was one of my best birthday gifts, but I think I lost it somewhere; I don't know where.

Use plural 'gifts' with 'one of'. 'I'm lost it' is incorrect — use 'I lost it'. Remove unnecessary 'in' before 'somewhere'. Break into two clauses and add 'where' to ask location. Use past tense 'lost'.

× I haven't thought of this question before but if I had to answers I would like to say some people were umm expensive watches as a accessory to spoil their rich and successful.

✓ I haven't thought about this question before, but if I had to answer I would say some people wear expensive watches as an accessory to show that they are rich and successful.

Use 'thought about' not 'thought of' here. 'If I had to answer' (singular) is correct. Use present tense 'wear' for general habits. 'Were' is wrong. 'As a accessory' should be 'as an accessory'. 'To spoil their rich and successful' is incorrect; use 'to show that they are rich and successful'.

× For example men they don't wear too much of jewelry like a woman so they would like to wear watch.

✓ For example, men don't wear as much jewelry as women, so they often like to wear a watch.

Redundant subject 'men they' should be 'men'. Use comparative 'as much ... as' for jewelry. 'Like a woman' should be 'as women'. Add article 'a' before 'watch' and optionally 'often' to indicate frequency. Use plural agreement 'women'.

× I think it depends.

✓ I think it depends on the person.

Original is short but ambiguous; adding 'on the person' clarifies what it depends on. This is a suggestion to improve clarity rather than a strict grammatical correction.

× For some people like students or elderly people umm wearing watch as a accessory is umm not important.

✓ For some people, like students or elderly people, wearing a watch as an accessory is not important.

Add commas for clarity. 'Wearing watch' needs an article: 'wearing a watch'. 'a accessory' should be 'an accessory'.

× But for some people who are going to work I think they need to wear what to be more professional and stylish appare.

✓ But for some people who are going to work, I think they need to wear watches to look more professional and stylish in appearance.

The phrase 'wear what' is incorrect — use 'wear watches'. 'Appare' is incomplete; use 'in appearance' or 'and appear stylish'. Add commas for readability and use plural 'watches' for general statement.