Watch— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and correctness: state directly why you wear it and give a clear, specific supporting detail. Correct the phrase 'garment wash' to the intended word (e.g., 'fitness watch' or 'sports watch') and avoid redundant phrasing. Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences and use a linking word if adding detail.

例: Yes, I wear a watch, especially when I go to the gym. I use a fitness watch because it tracks my heart rate and records my workouts, so I can monitor my progress.

提案: Fix grammar and tense: use past simple correctly and avoid repetition. Make the story concise and specific (when it happened and why it matters). Use a linking word like 'so' or 'and' to connect ideas. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I have. When I finished high school a few years ago, my dad gave me a beautiful watch as a gift, and I still keep it because it reminds me of that achievement.

提案: Make the explanation more organized and precise: start with a clear topic sentence and then provide two specific reasons, using linking words (for example, 'first' and 'also'). Avoid hesitations and fillers like 'you know' and repeated words.

例: Some people wear expensive watches because they value them as status symbols and as investments. For example, high-end watches can increase in value over time, and wearing one can signal success to others.

提案: Improve sentence structure and cohesion: begin with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons with linking phrases ('first' and 'second'). Correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'smartwatches' and 'tell' instead of 'tells'). Keep language natural and concise.

例: Yes, I think wearing a watch is useful. First, it helps you keep track of time easily, and second, modern smartwatches provide health data like heart rate and sleep patterns, which can help you stay healthy.

× Yes, I do wear a watch, especially when I go to the gym. For example, I have a garment wash which helps me to try my activities.

✓ Yes, I do wear a watch, especially when I go to the gym. For example, I have a fitness watch which helps me track my activities.

'garment wash' is incorrect word choice; 'fitness watch' is appropriate. 'try my activities' uses wrong verb; 'track my activities' correctly uses the verb 'track' to mean monitoring. This fits Verb + -ing form category because the original phrasing suggests incorrect verb use and form; use the base verb 'track' after 'helps me to' or 'helps me' (both acceptable). Suggestion: use 'helps me track' or 'helps me to track'.

× Yes, I I have. For example, once I finish my high school a few years ago, my dad's gifted me this beautiful watch that I keep it as a great memory.

✓ Yes, I have. For example, when I finished high school a few years ago, my dad gifted me this beautiful watch which I keep as a great memory.

Tense inconsistency: 'once I finish my high school a few years ago' mixes present tense 'finish' with past time 'a few years ago'. Use past tense 'finished'. Also 'my dad's gifted me' incorrectly uses contraction; use simple past 'my dad gifted me'. 'that I keep it as a great memory' has redundant pronoun 'it' and incorrect relative clause; use 'which I keep as a great memory'. Suggestion: maintain past tense for completed past events and avoid redundant pronouns.

× Well, I guess it's because they love expensive watches and some of this, this watch can be an investment. You know, it's, it's a way of keeping money.

✓ Well, I guess it's because they like expensive watches, and some of them see a watch as an investment. You know, it's a way of keeping value.

Pronoun and noun reference errors: 'some of this' is incorrect; use 'some of them' to refer to people. Also 'they love' is acceptable but 'like' is more natural. 'it's a way of keeping money' is awkward; 'keeping value' or 'storing value' is clearer. Suggestion: ensure pronouns correctly refer to people ('them') and choose appropriate nouns ('value' or 'investment').

× Yes, I think it is necessary even to wear a watch. For the first reason is that you keep track of time, and for the second reason is that now we have smart watches, which tells you a lot about your body.

✓ Yes, I think it is necessary to wear a watch. The first reason is that you can keep track of time, and the second reason is that now we have smartwatches, which tell you a lot about your body.

Several tense and agreement issues: 'necessary even to wear' is awkward; use 'necessary to wear'. 'For the first reason is that you keep' is incorrect word order; use 'The first reason is that you can keep' to indicate ability. 'smart watches' is better as one word 'smartwatches'. 'which tells you' has subject-verb disagreement: 'which tell you' matches plural 'smartwatches'. Suggestion: use correct word order for 'The first reason is that...', use modal 'can' to indicate capability, and ensure subject-verb agreement.