Watch— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct small grammar errors, and use a clear topic sentence with one or two supporting details. Avoid filler and repetition. Also complete unfinished phrases (e.g., 'on my phone') and reduce hesitations.

例: I don't usually wear a watch these days because it's more convenient to check the time on my phone. However, I sometimes wear a watch for fashion or when I'm exercising because it's more comfortable than carrying a phone.

提案: Fix grammar and word choice, organise into a clear topic sentence plus specific supporting details. Correct tense and vocabulary (e.g., 'I got a watch', 'leather straps'), and avoid run-on sentences.

例: Yes. I got a watch as a birthday present in high school. It was a simple analog watch with long leather straps that I wore almost every day because it was both practical and stylish, and it reminded me of the friend who gave it to me.

提案: Address pronunciation and word choice issues and organise ideas logically. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two linked reasons with correct vocabulary ('wear' not 'worry', 'status symbol', 'personal taste', 'craftsmanship', 'heirlooms'). Reduce hesitations and fragmented phrases.

例: Many people wear expensive watches because they serve as a status symbol that signals wealth and professional success. In addition, some people value the craftsmanship and design of high-end watches and keep them as sentimental heirlooms or investments.

提案: Give a clear opinion and support it with two concise reasons. Remove fillers and restructure sentences for clarity. Use phrases like 'It depends' and then explain whose preferences matter (e.g., profession, fashion).

例: I don't think it's essential to wear a watch; it depends on the person. For example, some professionals need a watch for punctuality, while others prefer using their phones, so it's largely a matter of personal preference.

× No, I don't usually wear a watch those days because it's more convenient to check the time on my.

✓ No, I don't usually wear a watch these days because it's more convenient to check the time on my phone.

Use 'these days' for current habitual actions, not 'those days'. Also the sentence is missing the object 'phone' after 'my'. Replace 'those' with 'these' and add 'phone' to complete the phrase.

× Sometimes I wear one for a a fashion or when I'm exercising, but for everyday use my phone is more practical.

✓ Sometimes I wear one as a fashion accessory or when I'm exercising, but for everyday use my phone is more practical.

Double 'a a' is a typing error; 'for a fashion' is not idiomatic. Use 'as a fashion accessory' to express wearing something for style. No article change needed for 'my phone'.

× I gotta watch as a birthday present when I was in high school.

✓ I got a watch as a birthday present when I was in high school.

'Gotta' is informal and means 'have to'; the intended past tense of 'get' is 'got'. Use 'got' to indicate receiving in the past.

× It was a simple analog watch with long leather stripes that were almost every day because it is both practical and stylish, and it reminded me of the friend who gave it to me, so I still cherish it.

✓ It was a simple analog watch with long leather straps that I wore almost every day because it was both practical and stylish, and it reminded me of the friend who gave it to me, so I still cherish it.

Use 'straps' not 'stripes' for watch bands. The clause 'that were almost every day' is incorrect; you need 'I wore almost every day' to show action. Maintain past tense 'was' to match 'It was'.

× Uh, I think one reason people worry expensive watches is that they act as a status.

✓ Uh, I think one reason people value expensive watches is that they act as a status symbol.

'Worry' is incorrect verb here; use 'value' or 'buy' depending on meaning. 'Act as a status' is incomplete; use 'act as a status symbol'.

× Simple uh, a luxury watch can signal wealth and professional success to others.

✓ For example, a luxury watch can signal wealth and professional success to others.

'Simple uh' is ungrammatical filler. Use 'For example' to introduce an illustration. Keep the rest of the sentence as is.

× Another reason is the personal test.

✓ Another reason is personal taste.

'Test' is incorrect word; 'taste' (preference) fits context. No article needed before 'personal taste'.

× Some people generally appreciate the craftsmanship and presence of high end.

✓ Some people generally appreciate the craftsmanship and presence of high-end pieces.

'High end' should be hyphenated as 'high-end' when used as an adjective and needs a noun like 'pieces' to complete the idea.

× Pieces, and they may keep them eyes.

✓ They may keep them as heirlooms and for sentimental reasons.

Original fragment 'Pieces, and they may keep them eyes' is ungrammatical. Clarify meaning: people keep watches as heirlooms and for sentimental reasons.

× Not really. I don't think it is important to wear a watch because it depends, uh, people's testing and someone maybe like, uh, wearing uh, a watch as their, uh, as their uh, like, but others maybe think it is not necessary, uh.

✓ Not really. I don't think it is important to wear a watch because it depends on people's tastes: some people may like wearing a watch as part of their style, but others may think it is not necessary.

Use 'depends on' with the preposition 'on'. 'Testing' is wrong; use 'tastes' for preferences. Replace 'someone maybe like' with 'some people may like'. Remove fillers and clarify 'as part of their style'. Maintain present tense.

× Ask me and I think I can. I can understand when I whatever people choose.

✓ As for me, I can understand whatever people choose.

'Ask me' is incorrect; use 'As for me' to introduce personal view. Remove redundant 'I can' and 'when I whatever'. Simplify to clear statement 'I can understand whatever people choose'.