Watch— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and correct small grammar errors (e.g., "helps me keep it helps me" → remove redundancy). Use a linking phrase when adding the reason.

例: Yes. I usually wear an analogue watch that my mother gave me for my 16th birthday because it is very sentimental. For example, I wear it almost every day since I prefer having something on my wrist and it helps me stay punctual.

提案: Good direct answer and clear supporting detail. Improve by using one linking word to connect ideas and a slightly richer vocabulary (e.g., "delicate" → "delicate and elegant") and avoid passive phrasing where unnecessary. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, my mother gave me a Michael Kors rose-gold analogue watch for my 18th birthday. It is delicate and elegant, so I don’t wear it every day; instead, I reserve it for special occasions when I want to feel dressed up.

提案: Organize the answer with clearer linking words and correct grammar. Begin with a concise topic sentence, then use 'first' and 'second' correctly. Provide one specific example or brief explanation for each reason and fix mistakes ("Patek Philip" → "Patek Philippe"; "the other where" → "the other wear").

例: I think there are two main reasons. First, some people collect expensive watches as a hobby or an investment — brands like Rolex or Patek Philippe can increase in value. Second, others wear costly watches to show social status or professional success.

提案: Make the opinion more natural and limit the number of vague phrases. Start with a clear opinion, then give two specific, relevant reasons using linking words (e.g., 'for example' or 'also'). Avoid overlisting abstract 'senses' and focus on practical benefits.

例: Yes, I think wearing a watch is useful. For example, a traditional watch helps you keep track of time and look more professional, while a smartwatch can monitor your fitness and notifications, which is handy during a busy day.

× I wear it almost every day because I prefer having something on my wrist other than the bracelets and helps me keep it helps me stay punctual.

✓ I wear it almost every day because I prefer having something on my wrist rather than bracelets, and it helps me stay punctual.

The original sentence has incorrect coordination and a repeated phrase 'helps me keep it helps me'. Also 'other than the bracelets' is unnatural; use 'rather than bracelets'. Use a single main verb phrase 'it helps me stay punctual'. Remove the duplication and join clauses correctly with 'and'. Suggestion: break long sentences into clear clauses and avoid repeating phrases.

× Have you ever got a watch as a gift?

✓ Have you ever gotten a watch as a gift?

In present perfect questions in many varieties of English (especially American), 'have you ever gotten' is standard. 'Got' can be used in British English as the past participle, but to match clear present perfect form use 'gotten' (or keep 'Have you ever got' only in British contexts). The issue flagged is tense/verb form in the perfect construction. Suggestion: use 'Have you ever gotten' (US) or 'Have you ever got' (UK) consistently.

× Yes, I was gifted a Michael Kors analog watch in rose gold by my mother for my 18th birthday.

✓ Yes, I was gifted a Michael Kors analog watch in rose gold by my mother for my 18th birthday.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable: passive past 'was gifted' correctly describes receiving a gift. No change needed. (Included for clarity that tense is correct.)

× It is a watch which is quite delicate so it is not an everyday watch.

✓ It is a watch that is quite delicate, so it is not an everyday watch.

Use 'that' for defining relative clauses with things; 'which' can be used but often requires a comma for non-defining clauses. Also add a comma before 'so' to separate clauses. The issue relates to clause usage rather than number, but fits list items constraints: adjust to natural relative pronoun and punctuation. Suggestion: use 'that' for essential descriptions and include comma before coordinating conjunctions.

× I only wear it on special occasions and really enjoy it.

✓ I only wear it on special occasions and really enjoy wearing it.

The original 'really enjoy it' is ambiguous; after 'enjoy' a gerund is required to indicate the activity enjoyed. Use 'enjoy wearing it'. This is a verb form requirement (gerund) linked to correct object structure. Suggestion: use gerund after 'enjoy'.

× There are two main reasons. First, some people are wealthy and collect watches as a hobby or as an investment, so they keep a whole set of high quality timepieces such as a Rolex or a Patek Philip.

✓ There are two main reasons. First, some people are wealthy and collect watches as a hobby or as an investment, so they build a whole set of high-quality timepieces such as Rolex or Patek Philippe watches.

Awkward phrasing 'keep a whole set' is non-idiomatic; 'build a whole set' or 'assemble a collection' is better. 'High quality' should be hyphenated as 'high-quality' when used as a compound adjective. Brand names: 'Patek Philippe' spelling corrected and avoid 'a Rolex' when referring to the brand generically; use 'Rolex watches' or 'a Rolex watch'. This is a sentence-structure and word-choice correction. Suggestion: use idiomatic verbs ('build' or 'collect'), hyphenate compound adjectives, and use correct brand names.

× Second, the other where expensive watches as a symbol of status.

✓ Second, others wear expensive watches as a symbol of status.

Original sentence has multiple errors: 'the other where' is incorrect word choice and word order. Correct subject 'others' and verb 'wear' produce a clear clause. Also 'a symbol of status' is fine. This is a sentence-structure and subject-verb selection correction. Suggestion: ensure correct subject form 'others' and use present plural verb 'wear'.

× I would like to emphasize that it is extremely important to wear a watch.

✓ I would like to emphasize that it is extremely important to wear a watch.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present-tense general statement. No change needed. Included to show tense is consistent with the question asking for general importance.

× The watch could be an analog watch or a smart watch, a digital watch or a fitness watch, but it really gives you a sense of time, a sense of energy, a sense of urgency, a sense of creativity, and sometimes also ends up keeping a track of your health.

✓ The watch could be an analog watch, a smartwatch, a digital watch, or a fitness watch, but it really gives you a sense of time, energy, urgency, and creativity, and sometimes also ends up keeping track of your health.

List punctuation improved and 'smart watch' is usually 'smartwatch' as one word. Remove redundant 'a' before repeated noun phrases in the second list and compress parallel items ('sense of time, energy, urgency, and creativity'). 'Keeping a track of' is non-idiomatic; use 'keeping track of'. This fixes conjunction and parallelism issues. Suggestion: maintain parallel structure in lists, use correct compound forms, and use idiomatic phrases like 'keep track of'.