Watch— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and informative, but it is slightly unfinished and a bit repetitive. Make the response concise (max 5 sentences), finish your final thought, and add a linking phrase to connect ideas. Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., use “monitor” or “records” instead of repeating “tracks”).

例: Yes, I wear an Apple Watch. It monitors my steps, sleep patterns and workout duration, so I can review my fitness trends. For example, I noticed I sleep less on weekdays, which helped me change my routine. Because of that, I find it useful for staying healthy.

提案: Good personal anecdote with clear details. Improve coherence by adding a topic sentence and a linking word, and reduce long clauses by splitting into two sentences. Use past tense consistently (e.g., “got” or “received”).

例: Yes, I received a watch as a gift when I was a child. At a friend’s aunt’s wedding, every child was given a wedding-themed Swatch, which I thought was a very thoughtful gesture.

提案: Your answer addresses two likely reasons but is hedged by “I've never thought about this,” which weakens confidence. Make your main idea clear in the topic sentence, use linking words (e.g., “firstly,” “also”), and correct phrasing: say “it increases in value” or “it will appreciate.” Add a brief example or consequence to support each reason.

例: Many people wear expensive watches because they serve as status symbols. Firstly, some buy them to display success; for example, a luxury brand can signal social standing. Secondly, others purchase high-end watches as investments because certain models appreciate in value over time.

提案: Clear personal stance and comparison; improve naturalness by removing “person itself” and using “person” or “individual.” Combine ideas with linking words (e.g., “for me,” “however”), avoid redundant phrases, and be slightly more specific about examples (how the watch helps).

例: It depends on the individual, but for me wearing a watch is useful. For instance, my smartwatch lets me check the time quickly, read messages and use navigation without taking out my phone. However, many people rely solely on their phones, so a watch is not essential for everyone.

× Have you ever got a watch as a gift?

✓ Have you ever gotten a watch as a gift?

In this present perfect question using 'have you ever', the past participle form of 'get' is required. In American English the past participle is 'gotten'; in British English 'got' is commonly used but in many contexts 'gotten' is preferred for clarity. Use 'gotten' (AmE) or accept 'got' (BrE) consistently with variety of English. Suggestion: Use the correct past participle after 'have' (e.g. 'Have you ever gotten...').

× I really found it interesting to analyze my own data and see where.

✓ I really found it interesting to analyze my own data and see where I can improve.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'see where', which is incomplete and leaves out the object or clause. This is a sentence structure error: a subordinate clause or object is needed to complete the meaning. Suggestion: Finish the clause with the intended complement, for example 'see where I can improve' or 'see where I walk most'. Replace vague endings with specific information.

× when I was a child I attended a wedding of my friend's aunt and she gave every child that attended the wedding a Swatch watch which was wedding themed.

✓ When I was a child I attended my friend's aunt's wedding and she gave every child who attended the wedding a Swatch watch that was wedding-themed.

The original uses an awkward possessive phrase 'a wedding of my friend's aunt' instead of the common noun phrase 'my friend's aunt's wedding'. Also 'that attended' should be 'who attended' since it refers to people; using 'which' for the watch is incorrect for people and 'wedding themed' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before a noun. Suggestion: Use correct possessive form for events (X's wedding), use 'who' for people, and hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns.

× It was a really nice and generous gift.

✓ It was a really nice, generous gift.

This is a stylistic correction: 'really nice and generous' is not ungrammatical but combining adjectives with a comma is more natural when both equally modify the noun. Removing 'and' and adding a comma improves fluency. Suggestion: Use a comma between coordinate adjectives ('nice, generous gift') or keep 'and' if emphasizing two separate qualities.

× I've never thought about this particularly in detail, but it could be either that they like to show off their wealth and therefore it is a status symbol.

✓ I've never thought about this in detail, but it could be that they like to show off their wealth and so it becomes a status symbol.

'Particularly in detail' is awkward; 'in detail' suffices. 'Either that' normally pairs with 'or' to present two alternatives; here 'either' is unnecessary. The clause 'therefore it is a status symbol' is better connected logically as 'so it becomes a status symbol.' Suggestion: Remove unnecessary words ('particularly' or 'either'), and use clearer connectors ('so it becomes').

× Otherwise it could be that they buy it for investment reasons so the future will increase.

✓ Otherwise, they might buy it for investment reasons because its value may increase in the future.

The original 'so the future will increase' is ungrammatical and unclear. The intended meaning is that the watch's value will increase over time. Use modal 'might' or 'could' for possibility, and state that 'its value may increase in the future.' Suggestion: Express the possibility clearly: 'its value may increase in the future' and use proper subject for 'increase' (value, not future).

× I think it depends on the person itself.

✓ I think it depends on the person.

The reflexive 'itself' is unnecessary and ungrammatical here; 'depends on the person' is the correct, natural phrase. Suggestion: Remove 'itself' unless reflexive emphasis is needed and appropriate (e.g. 'the person themselves').

× because then I can easily check the time and because it's a smart device I also can check my messages or use Google Maps.

✓ because then I can easily check the time, and because it's a smart device I can also check my messages or use Google Maps.

The original placement of 'also' ('I also can check') is awkward; adverb placement is typically before the main verb in this case ('I can also check'). Also add a comma for clarity between clauses. Suggestion: Place adverbs like 'also' before the main verb ('I can also check') and use commas to separate clauses.

× But other people don't like to wear a watch because they have their phones.

✓ But other people don't like to wear a watch because they have their phones with them.

The sentence is mostly correct; adding 'with them' clarifies possession/use of phones as substitute. Alternatively, use plural 'watches' to match 'people' but 'a watch' is acceptable in general statements. Suggestion: Add 'with them' for clarity or make nouns plural for generalizations ('wear watches' and 'have phones').