Watch— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two short supporting reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "check the time", "doesn't coordinate", "I prefer wearing jewelry to watches"). Avoid redundancy and long filler phrases.

例: No, I don’t usually wear a watch. I check the time on my phone, and I also prefer wearing jewelry because it suits my style better.

提案: Begin with a direct answer then give a concise reason with a linking word. Fix grammar ("got" → "received", "habit of wearing a watch"). Keep it to two sentences maximum.

例: No, I’ve never received a watch as a gift because my family and friends know I don’t wear them, so they choose other presents for my birthday.

提案: Avoid filler phrases and speculation without clear vocabulary. Give a direct reason and support with a specific example. Use appropriate expressions like "status" or "financial ability" instead of unclear terms. Limit to three sentences max.

例: Some people wear expensive watches to signal status and wealth. For example, a luxury watch can be a status symbol at business events to show success.

提案: Start with a clear opinion sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Fix grammar (e.g., "I don’t think it’s important to wear a watch", "a waste of time/space" inappropriate — say "unnecessary"). Avoid repetition.

例: I don’t think it’s necessary to wear a watch because it’s mainly for checking the time and most people use their phones for that. Therefore, wearing a watch isn’t essential in daily life unless it’s for fashion or special occasions.

× Actually no, because I think if I need to check time I just use my mobile phone and also I think if I wear the watch, the whole appearance of me will not coordinate and otherwise I really enjoy wear some jewelry because I think that is beautiful than watch.

✓ Actually no, because I think if I need to check the time I just use my mobile phone, and I think if I wear a watch my appearance will not match; also I really enjoy wearing some jewelry because I think it is more beautiful than a watch.

Multiple present-tense and related errors: missing article before 'time', incorrect use of 'coordinate' for appearance (use 'match'), wrong verb form 'enjoy wear' should be 'enjoy wearing' (verb + -ing), and comparative phrasing 'beautiful than watch' needs 'more' and appropriate articles. Suggestion: add 'the' before 'time', change 'coordinate' to 'match', use 'a watch', use gerund after 'enjoy', and use 'more beautiful than a watch'.

× Absolutely no, because my parents and my friends all know that I don't have the habit of wearing watch, so they don't buy the gift of watch when it's my birthday or some meaningful festival.

✓ Absolutely not, because my parents and my friends all know that I don't have the habit of wearing a watch, so they don't buy me a watch as a gift on my birthday or other important occasions.

Errors: 'Absolutely no' should be 'Absolutely not' (response form), missing article 'a' before 'watch', awkward phrase 'buy the gift of watch' should be 'buy me a watch as a gift', and 'some meaningful festival' is unnatural — use 'other important occasions'. Tense 'don't buy' is acceptable present habitual, but wording needed correction. Suggestion: add articles and rephrase to natural collocations.

× To be honest, I never thought about it and let me think, oh, I think that maybe some celebration will wear the expensive watch to show the stage of Commission market and also, uh, show the capability of buying.

✓ To be honest, I never thought about it. Let me think. Maybe people wear expensive watches for celebrations to show their status in the market and to demonstrate their buying power.

Problems: sentence run-on and awkward prepositions/phrases. 'Some celebration will wear the expensive watch' incorrectly assigns action to 'celebration' instead of 'people'. 'Show the stage of Commission market' is unclear; likely intended 'show their status in the market' or 'social status'. 'Show the capability of buying' should be 'demonstrate their buying power'. Suggestion: break into shorter sentences, make people the subject, use 'wear... for' and 'demonstrate their buying power'.

× Personality I think is not important to wear the watch because watch is just a tool to check in time.

✓ Personally, I don't think it is important to wear a watch because a watch is just a tool to check the time.

Errors: 'Personality I think' is incorrect placement and word choice — use 'Personally, I think' or 'I don't think'. Missing articles before 'watch' and 'time' ('a watch', 'the time'), and awkward 'check in time' should be 'check the time'. Suggestion: use adverb 'personally' at start, include articles, and correct collocation 'check the time'.

× So if we have any other tools to check time and the watch will be the waste on our hand.

✓ So if we have other ways to check the time, then a watch becomes unnecessary on our wrist.

Errors: incorrect conjunction and structure: 'if... and the watch will be' should be 'if..., then...'. 'Any other tools to check time' is acceptable but 'ways' or 'devices' is more natural; missing article 'the time'; 'waste on our hand' is incorrect collocation — use 'unnecessary on our wrist' or 'a waste on our wrist'. Suggestion: use conditional 'if... then', include articles, and use natural collocations 'check the time' and 'on our wrist'.

× So I think watch is not essential for our daily routine.

✓ So I think a watch is not essential for our daily routine.

Error: missing article 'a' before 'watch'. Present tense 'think' is fine. Suggestion: add 'a' to make the noun countable and natural: 'a watch is not essential'.