Watch— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two concise supporting details. Use linking words (for example, "because", "when", "so") and avoid confused phrases like "all do not everyday" or "a really much want". Keep it to 2–4 sentences and focus on specific situations when you wear a watch and why.

例: Yes, I wear a watch regularly. I usually put it on when I go to university or attend formal events because it looks elegant and helps me check the time quickly. It also adds a professional touch to my appearance.

提案: Correct grammar and be specific about the gift. Use past simple consistently and avoid unclear phrases like "received the watches posted" or "I worried quite often". Explain briefly why it was meaningful and give a concrete example of when you used it. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I have. A few years ago a family member gave me a wristwatch as a gift, and I was very pleased because it was both practical and meaningful. I especially wore it on special occasions, such as family gatherings and university ceremonies.

提案: Organize ideas clearly and use correct vocabulary. Begin with a topic sentence, then list 2–3 reasons using linking words like "firstly", "also", "finally". Fix word choice errors ("words" → "watches", "a success" → "success"). Be specific with examples (e.g., brand, craftsmanship, resale value).

例: There are several reasons. Firstly, people buy expensive watches for their high-quality craftsmanship and elegant design. Also, many see them as a symbol of success or social status, and finally some view them as an investment because certain models can increase in value over time.

提案: Make the opinion clear and support it with specific reasons and a short example. Fix awkward phrases ("essential to stay" → "essential"), and use linking words ("however", "because", "for example"). Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: I don't think wearing a watch is essential because most people use smartphones to check the time. However, I find watches useful and convenient when I'm busy or in meetings, and they can also make someone look more professional—for example, wearing a classic watch to a job interview.

× Yes, I do all do not everyday.

✓ Yes, I do not wear one every day.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and redundant words. 'All do not' is ungrammatical; place negation 'do not' before the main verb and use 'every day' as two words. Use 'wear one' to refer to a watch. Suggestion: 'I do not wear one every day.'

× I usually wear a watch when I'm going to university, attending a formal event or meeting someone an ordinary day.

✓ I usually wear a watch when I go to university, attend a formal event, or meet someone on an ordinary day.

Parallel verbs must match in form. The mix of progressive 'I'm going' and present participles 'attending' is inconsistent. Use simple present for habitual actions: 'go', 'attend', 'meet'. Add 'on' before 'an ordinary day' and commas for list clarity.

× I have a really much want to check the time, but I still enjoy wearing a watch because it looks elegant and that's a proficient touch to my appearance.

✓ I really want to check the time, but I still enjoy wearing a watch because it looks elegant and adds a professional touch to my appearance.

'A really much want' is ungrammatical; use 'I really want' or 'I have a strong desire to'. 'That's a proficient touch' is incorrect collocation; use 'adds a professional touch'. 'Professional' fits the intended meaning. Also replace 'that's' with 'adds' to make a complete clause.

× Yes I have.

✓ Yes, I have.

Missing comma after introductory 'Yes'. Add comma for natural spoken punctuation. The present perfect is fine.

× I received the watches posted from one of my family members a few years ago.

✓ I received a watch posted by one of my family members a few years ago.

'The watches' suggests multiple items but context implies a single watch. Use 'a watch'. 'Posted from' is unnatural; use 'posted by' to indicate the sender. Also 'one of my family members' is fine.

× I was really happy and pleased because it was both practical and meaningful.

✓ I was really happy because it was both practical and meaningful.

'Happy and pleased' is redundant; choose one. The sentence is otherwise fine; simplifying improves clarity.

× I worried quite often, especially when I went to Universal attend special occasions.

✓ I worried quite often, especially when I went to university to attend special occasions.

'Universal' is likely a misspelling of 'university'. Also 'went to university attend' lacks 'to' before 'attend'. Use 'went to university to attend'. Ensure past tense consistency: 'worried' and 'went' are past, which is fine.

× I think there are several reasons. Some people are wearing expensive words because they appreciate the quality of craftsmanship and design, others see them as a symbol of a success or social status, and some cases look through which are also considered good investment since certain model can increase in value over time.

✓ I think there are several reasons. Some people wear expensive watches because they appreciate the quality of craftsmanship and design; others see them as a symbol of success or social status, and in some cases they are also considered good investments since certain models can increase in value over time.

Many errors: 'are wearing' should be simple present 'wear' for general statements. 'Expensive words' is wrong—use 'expensive watches'. 'A symbol of a success' should be 'a symbol of success'. 'Some cases look through which' is garbled; replace with 'in some cases they are also considered'. Use plural 'investments' and 'models' to match 'certain'. Maintain parallel structure and correct articles.

× I don't think it's essential to stay because almost everyone carries a smartphone which can be used to check the time.

✓ I don't think it's essential to stay because almost everyone carries a smartphone that can be used to check the time.

'Which' is acceptable but 'that' is more natural in restrictive clauses. However, the phrase 'essential to stay' is odd—likely intended 'essential to wear one'. If intended meaning is 'essential to wear a watch', correction would be 'I don't think it's essential to wear a watch because...'. Clarify purpose: replace 'stay' with 'wear a watch'.

× However, I still think wearing a watch is beneficial because it's more convenient, especially when you're busy.

✓ However, I still think wearing a watch is beneficial because it's more convenient, especially when you're busy.

Sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed other than confirming context. Present continuous contraction 'you're' is fine.

× You can also make a person look more professional and well dressed.

✓ It can also make a person look more professional and well-dressed.

Use 'It' or 'Wearing a watch' as subject instead of 'You' to match generic meaning. Add hyphen in 'well-dressed' when used as a compound adjective. 'Make a person look' is fine but subject clarity improves sentence.