Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and confident. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm, uh), and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, since, so).

例: Yes, I do. I joined an art club when I was young, which taught me drawing and painting, and painting has remained my favourite hobby because it helps me relax and express myself.

提案: Avoid repetition and reduce hesitations. Give a clear reason and a specific example of a memorable visit. Use linking words (for example, because, for instance) to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I enjoy visiting galleries because I love traditional art. For example, I once saw a collection of local landscapes that was so detailed it stayed with me for weeks.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then explain with specific areas you'd like to study. Keep sentences short and use linking words (also, such as, for example). Avoid small grammatical errors.

例: Yes, I do. I would like to learn more about performing arts, such as music and dance, and also study art history to understand how styles evolved over time.

提案: Answer directly and concisely. Mention one or two specific skills you learned and a brief reason why it mattered. Reduce filler words and avoid repeating earlier points unnecessarily.

例: Yes, I did. I attended an arts club where I learned basic drawing techniques and colour mixing, which improved my confidence and encouraged me to keep practising.

× 'Umm, I think I like it for some reasons umm, because, uh, when I was young I went to the art club and, and there I learned to draw and how to paint and this is my favorite hobby still today, so I like.'

✓ 'I like drawing for several reasons. When I was young, I went to an art club where I learned to draw and paint, and it has remained my favorite hobby.'

'Sentence structure is run-on and awkwardly repeated (and, umm, uh). Combine ideas into clear sentences and remove fillers. Use "several reasons" instead of "some reasons," and change "there I learned to draw and how to paint" to "where I learned to draw and paint" for parallel structure. Use present perfect (has remained) to link past learning with continuing hobby.'

× 'Yeah, I would really like go to going to the gallery because I really like traditional arts, umm, because it's very interesting and a very memorable experience for me to visit to the gallery.'

✓ 'Yes, I would really like to go to the gallery because I enjoy traditional art; visiting a gallery is very interesting and memorable for me.'

'Incorrect modal verb structure: "would like" must be followed by the base verb (to go). Remove the redundant "going" and duplicate phrase "visit to the gallery." Use "enjoy traditional art" (uncountable) rather than "traditional arts." Simplify to avoid repetition.'

× 'I think art is not just only about drawing or painting. I think is art is music, art is dancing or anything like that. So I would love to learn more about art, yeah.'

✓ 'I think art is not only about drawing or painting; art also includes music, dance, and other forms. I would love to learn more about art.'

'Errors: extra "just" with "only" is redundant and "is art is music" has incorrect word order and repetition. Use "dance" instead of "dancing" to list art forms as nouns. Keep present simple for general statements and remove filler "yeah." ' '

× 'Yeah, as I have said before, I was really into art, uh, when I was young, so I went to the Arts Club and this inspiration came from my parents and also from myself.'

✓ 'Yes, as I said before, I was really into art when I was young, so I went to the art club; the inspiration came from my parents and from myself.'

'Use simple past "said" (rather than present perfect "have said") because the speaker refers to a specific earlier comment in the conversation. Capitalization: "Arts Club" can be lowercased as "art club" unless it is a proper name. "From myself" is awkward but acceptable; consider "from my own interest" for clarity.'

× 'And I've really learned a lot of things and I'm really happy today that I went to the art club.'

✓ 'I learned a lot, and I'm very happy today that I went to the art club.'

'Mixing present perfect (I've learned) with clear past context is acceptable but redundant here; simple past "I learned" fits because the learning occurred while attending the club. Use "very" instead of repeated "really" to avoid redundancy.'