Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly state your opinion first, then give one clear reason with specific detail. Avoid repetition and minor grammar errors (e.g., "interest" → "interested"). Use a linking phrase to add the contrasting preference.

例: No, I'm not really into drawing because I haven't developed the skills or techniques for it. Instead, I prefer reading books because they help me relax and learn new ideas.

提案: Avoid self-deprecating phrases like "I don't have any intelligence." Give a clearer, more natural reason and, if possible, add a brief example or condition (e.g., you'd enjoy guided visits). Use a linking word to show contrast.

例: Not usually. I find it hard to appreciate galleries on my own because I lack background knowledge about art; however, I might enjoy a guided tour that explains the works.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific benefits. Avoid awkward phrases like "blow down your perspective"; use "broaden your perspective." Keep the answer under five sentences and link ideas clearly.

例: Yes, I would. Learning about art can broaden my perspective on different cultures and deepen my appreciation for creative expression.

提案: Answer directly, then give a concise reason and one specific detail or example. Correct grammar ("helps me relax" not "relaxed") and avoid repeating "really." Use a linking word to contrast preferences.

例: Not really. I wasn't good at drawing as a child, so I lost interest and spent more time reading because books helped me relax and feel comfortable.

× No, because I don't have any skills or techniques to draw well, which I don't find interest.

✓ No, because I don't have the skills or techniques to draw well, and I don't find it interesting.

The phrase 'which I don't find interest' incorrectly uses 'interest' as a noun where an adjective is needed; the correct adjective is 'interesting'. Also 'any skills' is acceptable but 'the skills' is more natural when referring generally, and the relative clause is better joined with 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: replace 'which I don't find interest' with 'and I don't find it interesting'.

× I don't find it interesting. On the other side, I prefer reading books rather than drawing.

✓ I don't find it interesting. On the other hand, I prefer reading books to drawing.

The expression 'On the other side' is incorrect in this context; the idiom is 'On the other hand'. Also, 'prefer A rather than B' is less common than 'prefer A to B'. Suggestion: use 'On the other hand' and 'prefer reading books to drawing'.

× No, because I don't have any knowledge or intelligence to know or learn the beauty of art.

✓ No, because I don't have the knowledge or understanding to appreciate or learn about the beauty of art.

Using 'intelligence to know' is awkward and ungrammatical here; 'understanding' or 'knowledge' better fits. 'Appreciate or learn about the beauty of art' is clearer than 'know or learn the beauty of art'. Suggestion: replace 'intelligence to know' with 'understanding' and 'know or learn the beauty of art' with 'appreciate or learn about the beauty of art'.

× Yes, because I think it's interesting and intriguing to learn more about art because it will help you blow down your perspective on the world and deepen your appreciation for the art.

✓ Yes, because I think it's interesting and intriguing to learn more about art since it will broaden your perspective on the world and deepen your appreciation for art.

The phrase 'blow down your perspective' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'broaden' meaning to expand. Also using 'because' twice is repetitive; use 'since' or rephrase. 'Appreciation for the art' should be 'appreciation for art' (no article). Suggestion: replace 'blow down' with 'broaden', remove duplicate 'because', and omit the definite article before 'art'.

× Not really because I was not really good at drawing as a child which makes me feel uninterested in drawing.

✓ Not really, because I was not good at drawing as a child, which made me feel uninterested in drawing.

The sentence mixes past ('was') with present ('makes me feel'). When referring to feelings caused in the past, use past tense consistently: 'which made me feel'. Also remove duplicate 'really' for concision and add commas for clarity. Suggestion: keep past tense throughout when discussing childhood experiences.

× On the other side, I preferred reading because it always helps me relaxed and stay cozy.

✓ On the other hand, I preferred reading because it always helped me relax and stay cozy.

Again 'On the other side' should be 'On the other hand'. 'Helps me relaxed' is incorrect: after 'help' use the base verb 'relax' or 'to relax'. Also when describing past preferences use past tense 'helped'. Suggestion: use 'helped me relax' and 'On the other hand'.