Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and keep it concise (max 5 sentences). Use past tense consistently for memories, avoid fillers and hesitations, and provide one or two specific details linked logically. For example, correct subject-verb agreement and replace vague words ("doubts") with precise vocabulary ("a dragon").

例: I don't remember many recent dreams, but I clearly recall one from when I was about ten. In that dream, a large dragon captured me and took me to its cave, which felt both frightening and surreal. Although it was scary, I remember noticing the dragon's green scales and the echoing sound of the cave. That memory has stayed with me because it was so vivid.

提案: Lead with a direct answer, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., "especially," "because"). Correct verb forms and reduce repetition. Be precise about who you share with and when, and give a brief reason why it interests you.

例: Yes, I do. I usually tell my mother the whole story right after I wake up because the details feel fresh. Also, my family often discusses each other's dreams in the evening, which I find interesting because it helps us learn about one another's worries and imagination.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence stating your opinion, then explain briefly why with a specific reason and an example. Use simpler, correct phrasing (e.g., "images in dreams come from our perceptions"). Avoid repetition and passive mistakes.

例: Yes, I believe dreams can have meanings because the images in them often reflect our perceptions and emotions. For instance, dreaming about missing an exam might show anxiety about performance, so I think dreams can reveal our inner concerns.

提案: Answer directly, then clarify with a specific condition. Avoid contradictions and unclear phrasing; use linking words like "however" or "but". When discussing sensitive topics (deceased relatives), be concise and use respectful language. Express realistic expectation or emotional wish clearly.

例: It depends on the dream. For practical goals like becoming a teacher, I would definitely try to make them come true. However, when I dream about my grandfather who has passed away, I only wish to see him in my dreams because I know I cannot bring him back, but those dreams comfort me.

× Recently, I don't really have dreams, but I remember when I was around 10 years old, I had a dream that I were, I were like kidnapped by the, I think doubts, uh, dragon and.

✓ Recently, I don't really have dreams, but I remember when I was around 10 years old, I had a dream that I was kidnapped by, I think, a dragon.

The error involves incorrect verb form for past narrative related to a singular subject and inconsistent tense usage. 'I were' is incorrect because for a singular subject in the past simple tense the correct form is 'I was'. Also remove extraneous words ('like', 'the, I think doubts, uh') and add the article 'a' before 'dragon' to make the noun phrase grammatical. Suggestion: use 'I was kidnapped by a dragon' when describing a past dream.

× Yes, for both questions, I always like share my dream, like the story, whole story of the dream to my mom especially just after I woke wake up.

✓ Yes, for both questions, I always like to share my dream, the whole story of the dream, with my mom especially just after I wake up.

This sentence has issues with verb patterns and tense. After 'like' when referring to a habitual action, the correct pattern is 'like to share' or 'like sharing'. Also 'woke wake up' is redundant and the simple present 'wake up' fits habitual actions ('just after I wake up'). The preposition should be 'with my mom' not 'to my mom' when talking about sharing a story. Suggestion: use 'I always like to share my dream... with my mom, especially just after I wake up.'

× And they also like my family also had dreams to talk.

✓ And my family also likes to talk about their dreams.

The original sentence mixes pronouns and verb forms incorrectly. 'They also like my family also had dreams to talk' is ungrammatical. Correct version uses subject 'my family' with singular verb 'likes' (collective noun treated as singular in this context) or 'my family members also like' with plural verb. Also use 'to talk about their dreams' to express the action. Suggestion: restructure to 'My family also likes to talk about their dreams.'

× I think so because the images which were display displayed on the dream in the dream were created by our perceptions.

✓ I think so because the images displayed in the dream were created by our perceptions.

The phrase 'were display displayed on the dream in the dream' contains a wrong verb form and redundancy. The past participle 'displayed' is correct to describe images shown in a past event and should be used without 'were display'. Also 'in the dream' is sufficient; 'on the dream' is incorrect. Suggestion: 'images displayed in the dream' is concise and grammatical.

× It really depends on the dream, what kind of dream, but sometimes I had dreamed of my grandfather, which already, uh, who already passed away.

✓ It really depends on the dream, what kind of dream, but sometimes I dream about my grandfather, who has already passed away.

The clause mixes past perfect/incorrect forms. For habitual or general experiences connected to the present, use present simple 'I dream about' or present perfect 'I have dreamed about'. 'Had dreamed' is past perfect and inappropriate here. Also use 'who has already passed away' to indicate a past life event relevant now. Replace 'which' with 'who' for people. Suggestion: use 'sometimes I dream about my grandfather, who has already passed away.'

× So he is Yeah, I hope. Umm, I know it's Poss impossible, but I hope.

✓ So I hope so. I know it's impossible, but I hope.

This fragment has disfluent speech and incorrect word 'Poss' and awkward structure. 'So he is Yeah, I hope' should be smoothed to 'So I hope so.' 'It's impossible' is a simple statement; modal usage isn't strictly required, but the intent is to express desire despite impossibility. Suggestion: use 'I know it's impossible, but I hope' to convey the meaning clearly.