Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and use a clear topic sentence. Mention time, describe the dream, and then explain briefly why you changed it using correct tense and linking words. Avoid redundancy and unnecessary fillers.

例: Yes. When I was about six, I wanted to be a singer. However, I later realised I wasn’t very good at singing, so I decided to try other interests instead.

提案: Start with a direct answer, then give one clear supporting detail with linking words. Use correct verb tenses and nouns, and avoid confusing phrasing. Specify who you share with and give one example of a changed dream.

例: Yes, I often tell friends and family about my dreams. For example, I once wanted to be a dancer, but later I changed my mind and talked with my teacher and friends about new career ideas.

提案: Answer directly, then explain with coherent reasons and correct vocabulary. Replace vague phrases (“pay a lot of time and afford”) with precise expressions (e.g., “require time and effort”). Use linking words to connect ideas and correct word choice for clarity.

例: Yes, I do. I think dreams often represent personal goals, and they can be meaningful because achieving them usually requires a lot of time and effort.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then expand with specific details about how you will pursue the dream and how you want to help others. Use complete sentences and correct prepositions and plural forms.

例: Yes, definitely. I want to become a musician, not just to perform but to compose original songs. I also hope my music can inspire and help other people by raising awareness about important issues.

× Yes, when I was about 6 years old, I remember that I want to be a singer but and later I realized that I'm not really good at singing.

✓ Yes, when I was about 6 years old, I remember that I wanted to be a singer, but later I realized that I wasn't really good at singing.

The student mixes past and present tense incorrectly. 'Remember' refers to a past desire, so 'want' should be past 'wanted' (Present tense issue ID 6). Also 'I'm not really good' should be backshifted to past 'wasn't' because the realization happened in the past. Remove the extra conjunction 'and'. Suggestion: keep past consistency when describing past events: use 'wanted' and 'wasn't'.

× Yes, I usually changed my dream when I have a new interested things and for example I used to want to be a dancer and the teacher also I change now.

✓ Yes, I usually change my dream when I have a new interest; for example, I used to want to be a dancer, and I changed because of my teacher.

Multiple tense and word-choice errors. 'Usually' requires present simple 'change' not past 'changed' (Present tense issue ID 6). 'Have a new interested things' is incorrect; use 'have a new interest' (Incorrect use of adjectives or nouns but fits Present tense issue here). 'I used to want' is correct for past habit; maintain clear sequence: 'I changed' suits past change. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions and correct noun 'interest', restructure sentence into two clear clauses.

× Yes, absolutely. I think that means you have a goal in your life and it is it is very meaningful for yourself and you will just pay a lot of time and afford.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I think that means you have a goal in your life and it is very meaningful to you, and you will need to spend a lot of time and effort on it.

Several word-choice and preposition errors. 'Meaningful for yourself' should be 'meaningful to you' (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs ID 13). 'Pay a lot of time and afford' is incorrect: use 'spend a lot of time and effort' and add 'on it' to specify the goal. Suggestion: use collocations 'spend time' and 'make an effort' or 'spend effort' and correct preposition 'to' for meaning relationships.

× Yes, sure, I want to be a musician and not only about performing, I want to create something. Help for other peoples.

✓ Yes, sure. I want to be a musician, and not only perform; I want to create something and help other people.

'Not only about performing' is ungrammatical; use the verb form 'not only perform' (Verb + -ing form ID 8). 'Help for other peoples' is incorrect: 'help other people' uses plural 'people' and no preposition 'for'. Suggestion: use parallel verb forms and correct noun 'people' and remove unnecessary preposition.