Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and grammatically correct, avoid redundancy, and keep it concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Correct tense and article errors (e.g., “when I turned 10, my dreams started to disappear”).

例: Yes, I can usually remember my dreams. When I was a child they were often scary and woke me up, but when I turned ten they gradually started to disappear.

提案: Respond directly and use natural prepositions (e.g., “share my dreams with anyone”). Reduce hesitation and repetition. Provide one clear reason and a brief example using a linking word to connect ideas.

例: No, I usually don't share my dreams with anyone because I feel they are personal. However, if a friend mentions a similar dream, I will discuss it with them to compare details.

提案: Give a clearer, more specific opinion and support it with one concise reason or example. Use linking words like “because” or “for example” to connect your view and the supporting detail, and avoid vague phrases like “some thoughts.”

例: Yes, I think dreams can have meanings because they often reflect real emotions or memories. For example, dreaming about exams might indicate anxiety about upcoming challenges.

提案: Answer fully in a single coherent sentence or two. Avoid sentence fragments and filler words; combine sentences with a linking phrase to make it natural and concise.

例: I would only want my positive dreams to come true because no one would want their nightmares to become reality.

× Uh, when I turned 10 years old my dreams are started to disappear.

✓ Uh, when I turned 10 years old my dreams started to disappear.

The sentence mixes past time marker 'when I turned 10 years old' with the incorrect present-passive form 'are started to disappear.' Use simple past 'started' to match the past context. Suggestion: Use 'started' or 'began' for past actions (e.g., 'my dreams started to disappear' or 'my dreams began to disappear').

× No, I don't share my dreams to anybody because I think that what's, uh, dreams for me, it's for me.

✓ No, I don't share my dreams with anybody because I think that what dreams are for me is for me.

Use the verb 'share' with preposition 'with' not 'to'. Also restructure the clause 'what's, uh, dreams for me, it's for me' to 'what dreams are for me is for me' to be grammatical. Suggestion: Say 'share my dreams with anyone' and simplify the clause to avoid redundant 'it's'.

× And if someone tells me they dream, I can talk about it with them.

✓ And if someone tells me about their dream, I can talk about it with them.

The phrase 'tells me they dream' is ambiguous and uses pronoun reference awkwardly. Use 'tells me about their dream' to clarify the object. Also 'it' then correctly refers to 'their dream'. Suggestion: Use 'about' plus a noun or 'that they dreamed' for past reference.

× Or if I had the same thing, I can just say that, oh, I have like the same thing.

✓ Or if I had the same dream, I can just say, 'Oh, I had the same dream.'

Tense consistency: since speaker uses 'had' and refers to past dreams, match tense: 'I had the same dream.' Also replace vague 'the same thing' with 'the same dream' and avoid filler 'like.' Suggestion: Use clear noun and consistent past tense when referring to previous dreams.

× In my opinion, yes. I really have some thoughts after my dreams and I think that might be real because every dream has a part of its true story.

✓ In my opinion, yes. I often have thoughts after my dreams and I think they might be real because every dream contains a part of a true story.

'I really have some thoughts after my dreams' is awkward; 'often have thoughts' fits frequency. 'That might be real' lacks clear subject; use 'they might be real' referring to the thoughts or dreams. 'Has a part of its true story' is awkward—use 'contains a part of a true story.' Suggestion: Ensure pronoun references are clear and choose verbs that match meaning (e.g., 'contain').

× Only the good ones. Because who wants that your nightmares, uh, become true?

✓ Only the good ones, because who wants their nightmares to become true?

Sentence fragment 'Only the good ones.' can join the next clause for fluency. Use 'their nightmares' instead of 'your nightmares' to maintain consistent perspective, and use infinitive construction 'to become true' rather than 'become true' after 'wants'. Suggestion: Combine into one sentence and use 'their' or 'your' consistently depending on narrator's perspective; use 'want someone to do something' + infinitive.