Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, accuracy and organisation. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, correct vocabulary mistakes (e.g. 'gyms' → 'dreams'), fix grammar (use past/present appropriately), and give one short specific detail about the dream. Limit response to 2–3 sentences and use linking words if you add details.

例: Yes, I can remember my childhood dreams. For example, I wanted to become a foreign trader because my sister worked in international business and I admired her career, so I thought I would enjoy working with people from different countries.

提案: Be direct and concise. Begin with a clear statement (Yes/No), then give one precise supporting detail and use a linking phrase (e.g. 'for example' or 'because'). Correct grammar (e.g. 'teachers asked us to share') and avoid vague fillers like 'you know?'.

例: Yes, I often share my dreams with others. For example, when I was in primary school my teachers asked us to talk about our goals, which encouraged me to explain why I wanted to work internationally.

提案: Give a clear opinion then support it with a reason and a short example. Improve grammar and word choice: use 'motivation' and 'help people overcome difficulties' and correct verb forms. Use a linking word such as 'because' or 'so' to connect idea and reason.

例: Yes, I do think dreams have special meanings because they often act as motivation. For instance, a dream of becoming successful can push someone to study harder and overcome obstacles in their life.

提案: Make the answer coherent and grammatically correct. Start with a direct response, then explain one specific action you are taking to achieve the dream. Fix unclear phrases (e.g. 'my James is foreign traders' unclear — probably 'my dream is to be a foreign trader' or 'my sister is a foreign trader'). Use linking words and precise vocabulary like 'major', 'improve', 'communication'. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I want to make my dream come true. Because my sister works as a foreign trader, I chose to major in English to improve my communication skills with international clients and prepare for that career.

× 'Yes, of course I still remember the gyms I had is I want to be a foreign trader because I still remember my sister worked as.'

✓ 'Yes, of course I still remember the dreams I had: I wanted to be a foreign trader because I remembered that my sister worked as one.'

'27: Subject-verb agreement errors and also incorrect word choice. The original uses "gyms" (wrong word) and mixes tenses and structure ("I had is I want"). Corrected to "dreams I had: I wanted" to match past tense for a past dream and to keep subject and verb aligned. Also added "one" after "worked as" to complete the idea. Suggestion: use the correct noun (dreams), keep tense consistent (past for remembered childhood dreams), and finish the clause with an appropriate noun or pronoun.'

× 'Yes, of course, seeing my primary school, our teachers wanted to us ask us to share our dreams, you know?'

✓ 'Yes, of course. In primary school, our teachers wanted us to share our dreams.'

'1: Singular and plural issue and also general sentence structure problems. The phrase "seeing my primary school" is incorrect; use "in primary school." The original has the redundant "wanted to us ask us" which is ungrammatical; correct form is "wanted us to share" (verb + object + infinitive). Suggestion: use correct prepositional phrase "in primary school" and structure "wanted us to [verb]".'

× 'Yes, I do. I think it's just like a motivation to promote people to conquer the difficulties when they meeting their life.'

✓ 'Yes, I do. I think it is like a motivation that helps people overcome difficulties when they face them in life.'

'6: Present tense issue and also verb form errors. "It's just like a motivation to promote people to conquer" is unnatural; use "a motivation that helps people overcome." "When they meeting their life" is incorrect verb form; use "when they face them in life" or "in life." Suggestion: use present simple for general statements and correct verb forms (help + infinitive / overcome; face + object). Also make pronoun reference clear (difficulties -> them). '

× 'Yes, of course, because my James is foreign traders so I choose my major is English, so I think the English will promote my conversation quality ways foreigners.'

✓ 'Yes, of course, because my family members are foreign traders, I chose English as my major, so I think English will improve my ability to communicate with foreigners.'

'12: Incorrect use of pronouns and also multiple other errors (plurality, tense, article use). "my James" is unclear; likely "my family members" or "my father/uncle James." "is foreign traders" mixes singular/plural; corrected to "are foreign traders." "I choose my major is English" is wrong; use past tense "I chose English as my major." "promote my conversation quality ways foreigners" is ungrammatical; corrected to "improve my ability to communicate with foreigners." Suggestion: identify the intended referent, ensure subject and verb agree, use past tense for past decisions, and use natural collocations like "chose English as my major" and "communicate with foreigners."