Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子有时态和语法错误，表达不够简洁。回答应以主题句开头，随后用1–2个支持细节，用连接词保证连贯。可以把过去的愿望和原因分成两句话，注意动词时态和单复数。

例: Yes, I remember. When I was a child, I wanted to be a scientist because I admired how scientists discover new species and analyze data. For example, I used to read reports about field research and laboratory work, which inspired me.

提案: 回答中有语法错误和冗长，缺少连贯的连接词。应先直接回答，然后说明具体原因与例子，注意主谓一致与不定式结构。避免重复信息。

例: Yes, I share my dreams with my parents. My mother, who is a doctor, understands my motivation and often advises me to study hard because scientific careers are demanding. For instance, she helped me plan a study schedule.

提案: 想法明确但表达混乱，句子冗长且逻辑不清。应用一两句解释观点并举例，使用连接词如 'because' 或 'for example'，并避免人称和代词使用错误。

例: Yes, I believe dreams often have special meanings because they reflect a person’s ambitions and motivations. For example, a childhood dream of becoming a scientist can motivate someone to study biology and pursue research.

提案: 回答有积极态度但语法和词汇使用不当（专业名词、冠词、时态）。应先肯定回答，再说明具体行动或计划，句子控制在两到三句内，注意短语顺序。

例: Definitely. That is why I chose Biotechnology as my major and I am pursuing a postgraduate degree this year. I hope to become a biologist, so I work hard on laboratory skills and coursework.

× Yes, when I was a child, I want to be a scientist because I think they know a lot of knowledge and I can see some reports about the scientists, how to discover a new species and how to analyze the data.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I wanted to be a scientist because I thought they knew a lot and I could read some reports about scientists, how they discover new species and how they analyze data.

时态问题：句中描述过去的愿望和过去能看到的报道，主句和从句应使用过去时。原句中却用了现在时（want, think, can see），产生时态不一致。建议：回顾一般过去时的构成（动词过去式或过去形式），将表示过去的动作或状态改为过去时；同时简化表达（不用 redundant 的词汇如“a lot of knowledge”可改为“knew a lot”）。

× Yes, I share my dream with my parents. My mother is a doctor so she can understand why I want to be a scientist and she also know how hard it may be so she taught me I need to study hard to.

✓ Yes, I shared my dream with my parents. My mother is a doctor so she could understand why I wanted to be a scientist, and she also knew how hard it might be, so she taught me that I needed to study hard.

代词与时态混合问题：原句中代词和动词时态不一致（share/my mother can understand/she also know），且结尾的结构不完整（'study hard to' 不正确）。根据上下文这是在谈过去，需用过去时态和恰当的从句连接词（that）。建议：把动词改为过去时，动词与主语保持一致，并完整表达目的或结果从句。

× Of course, I think a dream for child or adult also has crucial meaning because this is a symbol of their ambitions and this is also their motivations and can schedule me themselves to achieve the goal.

✓ Of course, I think a dream for a child or an adult also has a crucial meaning because it is a symbol of their ambitions and motivations and can motivate them to achieve their goals.

代词和数的一致性问题：原句中代词使用混乱（this 指代不清，their 指代复数但前文单数/复数混用），并且有词汇搭配错误（'schedule me themselves' 不合逻辑）。建议：使用 it 指代单个梦，使用 plural 时保持统一（them/their/goals），用正确的动词搭配（motivate someone to do sth）。

× Definitely, that is a reason why I choose Biotechnologies to be my majors and I pursue A postgraduate this year. So I think I want to be a biologist and I work hard to.

✓ Definitely, that is the reason why I chose Biotechnology as my major and I am pursuing a postgraduate degree this year. So I want to be a biologist and I am working hard to achieve that.

时态与名词单复数错误：第一部分应为过去时（chose），专业名词用单数或不可数（Biotechnology），'majors' 与语境不符；'pursue A postgraduate' 表达错误，正确为 'pursuing a postgraduate degree'；最后句子应使用现在进行表示当前努力（am working），并补全目的短语。建议：注意动词时态与名词形式，使用正确的名词搭配和完整不定式结构。