Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fix small grammar issues. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “sharing of them” → “sharing them”).

例: Yes, I often remember my dreams when I wake up. For example, last week I dreamed I was flying over my city, which felt so vivid that I told my sister about it right away.

提案: Improve sentence structure and linking. Use one clear main sentence, then explain with a specific reason and a linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”). Avoid repeating phrases.

例: Yes, I often share my dreams with family because their reactions are exciting. For instance, when I described a strange dream last month, my friends asked many questions and we discussed possible meanings.

提案: Clarify your opinion and give a concrete reason or example. Fix grammar and avoid vague phrases like “can be featured.” Use linking words (because, for example) to make your point logical.

例: Yes, I think some dreams have meanings because once I dreamed about a job interview and a few weeks later I actually had a similar interview; this made me feel the dream might have been a warning or a rehearsal.

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Give one supporting detail about how you plan to achieve the goal, using linking words (e.g., “by” or “so”).

例: Yes, I definitely want my dream to come true because I want to become an F1 aerodynamic engineer, so I am studying mechanical engineering and practising CFD simulations to improve my chances.

× Some of them are so fascinating that I end up sharing of them with family or friends.

✓ Some of them are so fascinating that I end up sharing them with my family or friends.

The verb 'sharing' as a transitive gerund should be followed directly by its object without the preposition 'of'. Also, include the possessive 'my' for clarity and naturalness. Suggestion: use 'sharing them with my family or friends.'

× I end up sharing of them with family or friends.

✓ I end up sharing them with my family or friends.

In English, when referring to one’s family or friends in a personal context, the possessive 'my' is normally used. Also remove the incorrect preposition 'of' (see previous). Suggestion: use 'my family or friends.'

× Yes, I often share my dreams with family or friends, their reaction so exciting that I want to share my dreams to them.

✓ Yes, I often share my dreams with my family or friends; their reactions are so exciting that I want to share my dreams with them.

There are several issues: missing possessive 'my' before 'family or friends'; the clause 'their reaction so exciting' lacks a verb—use 'their reactions are so exciting'; use plural 'reactions' to match multiple people; the preposition 'to' after 'share' is incorrect when an indirect object follows—use 'share ... with them'. Suggestion: split into two clauses and ensure verbs and prepositions are correct.

× And I'm interested in other dreams too.

✓ And I'm interested in other people's dreams too.

'Other dreams' is ambiguous; to express interest in dreams experienced by other people, use 'other people's dreams.' This clarifies the subject of 'other.' Suggestion: say 'other people's dreams.'

× Yes, I think dreams have special meanings because I experience some dreams could be future, Yeah.

✓ Yes, I think dreams have special meanings because I have had some dreams that seemed like they might be about the future.

The original mixes tenses and lacks proper clause structure: 'I experience some dreams could be future' is ungrammatical. Use present perfect 'have had' for past experiences relevant now, and a relative clause 'that seemed like they might be about the future' to express possibility. Also remove informal 'Yeah'. Suggestion: 'I have had some dreams that seemed like they might be about the future.'

× So I believe dreams can be featured.

✓ So I believe dreams can have meaning.

'Be featured' is an odd and incorrect collocation here. To say dreams carry significance, use 'have meaning' or 'have special meanings.' Suggestion: 'dreams can have meaning' or 'dreams can have special meanings.'

× Yes, I really want my dreams come true because my dream is becoming an F1 aerodynamic engineer, so I really want to become a F1 engineer.

✓ Yes, I really want my dreams to come true because my goal is to become an F1 aerodynamic engineer, so I really want to become an F1 engineer.

The phrase 'want my dreams come true' is missing the infinitive marker 'to' ('want X to happen'). Also 'my dream is becoming an F1 aerodynamic engineer' incorrectly uses '-ing' after 'is'; use 'my goal is to become' or 'I want to become.' Suggestion: 'I really want my dreams to come true because my goal is to become an F1 aerodynamic engineer.'

× so I really want to become a F1 engineer.

✓ so I really want to become an F1 engineer.

Keep article 'an' before vowel sounds; note 'F1' is pronounced 'eff one', which begins with a vowel sound, so the correct article is 'an F1 engineer.' Suggestion: 'an F1 engineer.'