Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use clearer linking words. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with a linking word (for example, “because” or “also”). Avoid redundancy like repeating 'dreams' or filler phrases.

例: I usually don't remember my dreams. Because I often wake up suddenly, my brain has no time to register what I was dreaming, and I also tend to focus on the present rather than replaying dreams.

提案: Open with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one specific reason using a linking word such as 'however' or 'because.' Replace vague phrasing like 'shows you signals' with precise expressions (e.g., 'reflects worries' or 'reveals concerns').

例: I rarely share my own dreams because I usually don't remember them. However, I am interested in other people's dreams because they can reflect hidden worries or unresolved feelings.

提案: Be direct and avoid hesitations. Give a clear reason and one supporting example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' and avoid fragmented phrases such as 'Umm or or showing'.

例: Yes, I think dreams can have meaning because during sleep our conscious defenses are lowered and hidden feelings can surface. For example, repeated dreams about missing a deadline might indicate ongoing stress at work.

提案: Clarify vocabulary: distinguish between 'dreams' as sleeping dreams and 'dreams' as goals. Start with a direct answer, then explain the distinction and state your preference using one or two sentences. Remove repetition like 'through through' and use precise verbs ('achieve').

例: Not the dreams I have while sleeping — I rarely remember those. I prefer to focus on my goals for the future, which I actively plan and hope to achieve.

× No, usually I don't remember the dreams I had.

✓ No, usually I don't remember the dreams I have.

The sentence mixes present habitual 'usually I don't remember' with a past-tense clause 'I had'. Use the present perfect 'I have' to link past experiences to the present habitual context. Suggestion: use present perfect when referring to past experiences relevant now: 'I don't remember the dreams I have.'

× One of the main reasons could be that I wake up super quickly and then my brain can't comprehend what happened during my sleep and another reason could be that I like to stay grounded and live now and not in my dreams.

✓ One main reason could be that I wake up very quickly, so my brain can't register what happened while I was sleeping, and another reason could be that I prefer to stay grounded and live in the present rather than in my dreams.

The original is long and runs several ideas together without clear connectors and uses colloquial 'super' and 'comprehend'. Also tense consistency: 'what happened during my sleep' is okay but 'while I was sleeping' is smoother. Improve clarity by splitting clauses, using appropriate conjunctions ('so' and 'and'), and using 'prefer' and 'in the present' for natural phrasing.

× Because I don't remember my dreams, I usually don't share them with others.

✓ Because I don't remember my dreams, I usually don't share them with others.

This sentence is grammatically correct. It correctly uses present simple for habitual action and needs no change.

× However, I'm interested in other dreams because I think sometimes your body shows you signals of what could happen or what you don't want to think about.

✓ However, I'm interested in other people's dreams because I think sometimes the body shows signals about what could happen or what you don't want to think about.

The original mixes second-person 'your' with the speaker describing others' dreams; use 'other people's' to clarify whose dreams. Also use 'the body' or 'people's bodies' instead of 'your body' to match perspective. Minor phrasing: 'shows signals about' is clearer than 'shows you signals of'.

× Yes, I do believe dreams have special meanings because the body is not in a fight or flight mode during sleeping.

✓ Yes, I do believe dreams have special meanings because the body is not in a fight-or-flight mode while sleeping.

Use the gerund phrase 'while sleeping' or 'during sleep'; 'during sleeping' is awkward. Hyphenate 'fight-or-flight' as a compound adjective. 'While sleeping' is the natural expression.

× Therefore the dreams could have a hidden meaning. Umm or or showing varies or stress that usually in daily life you tend to ignore.

✓ Therefore, dreams could have a hidden meaning, or they might show various stresses that you tend to ignore in daily life.

The original contains fillers ('Umm or or'), unclear phrasing ('showing varies or stress'), and incorrect word order. Replace with 'might show various stresses' and move 'in daily life' after the verb for clarity. Remove filler words.

× No, I don't want to make my dreams come true because usually I don't remember my dreams.

✓ No, I don't want to make my dreams come true because I usually don't remember them.

Use 'usually' before the verb phrase for natural word order: 'I usually don't remember them.' Also replace repeated 'my dreams' with 'them' to avoid redundancy.

× I too live in the present and not in my dreams.

✓ I also live in the present, not in my dreams.

Use 'also' rather than 'too' in mid-sentence for more natural flow, and remove extra 'and' before the contrast. Add a comma for clarity.

× So therefore I have goals that I want to acquire in my future and that's the dreams that I hope to make through through.

✓ Therefore, I have goals I want to achieve in the future, and those are the dreams I hope to make come true.

The original repeats 'therefore' and 'through', uses 'acquire' incorrectly for goals, and has awkward phrase 'make through'. Use 'achieve' for goals, 'in the future' for time, and the idiom 'make come true' for fulfilling dreams. Also correct pronoun 'those' to refer to 'goals'.