Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答をもっと明確で簡潔にし、文法と語順の誤りを直しましょう。導入文で直接質問に答え（短いトピック文）、その後1〜2文で具体例を述べます。接続語（for example, and, so）を自然に使い、曖昧な発話（ummなど）は避けて下さい。

例: Yes. I remember several dreams from my childhood. For example, I wanted to be a chef because I loved cooking and trying new recipes. I also imagined working in different jobs because I enjoyed new challenges.

提案: もっと具体的に誰に何を話したかと頻度や理由を述べると良いです。文を論理的につなげるために接続詞（for example, so, because）を適切に使い、冗長さを避けましょう。不要な繰り返しを減らし、文法（study abroad in Italy の語順など）を正してください。

例: Yes, I often share my dreams with friends and teachers. For example, I told my coworkers and several teachers that I want to study abroad in Italy because I want to improve my culinary skills and experience the culture.

提案: 内容が曖昧で話の例が不明確です。まず意見を明確に述べ（Yes, I think dreams can be meaningful）、次に具体的な理由や具体例を1〜2文で示してください。比喩や例は明確で関連性のあるものを使い、語彙の誤用（bright や making apples など）を直しましょう。

例: Yes, I think dreams can be meaningful because they often reflect our goals and emotions. For example, dreaming about working hard on a project might show your motivation to improve, and reflecting on such dreams can help you set real-life goals.

提案: 回答は明確で意欲が伝わりますが、語彙をもう少しフォーマルにし、理由や具体的な行動を一文で補足すると良いです。またカジュアルな短縮形（'cause, wanna）は避けてください。

例: Yes, I definitely want to make my dreams come true. My main goal is to study theology in Italy, so I am studying hard and preparing applications and language tests to achieve this.

× When I was a child I wanted to be with or chef or something like that, you know umm dreams of challenges easily.

✓ When I was a child I wanted to be a chef or something like that; you know, I had many dreams of challenging things.

The original sentence has incorrect articles and plural forms. 'a chef' is the correct singular noun with an article. 'dreams of challenges easily' is unclear and ungrammatical; 'I had many dreams of challenging things' expresses the intended meaning. Suggestion: use the singular article 'a' before singular professions and use plural 'dreams' when referring to multiple aspirations. ID: 1

× I usually share my dreams with others, for example culinary.

✓ I usually share my dreams with others; for example, I talk about culinary ambitions.

'For example culinary' is not a complete phrase. Use 'for example' followed by a noun phrase like 'culinary ambitions' or 'my interest in cooking'. Also add a verb to make the idea clear. Suggestion: follow 'for example' with a clear noun phrase or clause. ID: 11

× I want to go to study abroad in Italy, so I talked about it to my coworker and teachers that I want to go abroad.

✓ I want to study abroad in Italy, so I talked to my coworkers and teachers about my plans to go abroad.

Problems: unnecessary 'to' after 'go' ('go to study' should be 'study abroad' or 'go to study' with rephrasing), 'coworker' should be plural 'coworkers' if referring to more than one, and word order 'talked to X about Y' is standard. Suggestion: use 'talked to someone about something' and match singular/plural pronouns. ID:12

× I guess having dreams make people more bright, for example when we were making apples or trying to achieve something that experiences improve our health.

✓ I guess having dreams makes people brighter; for example, when we try to achieve something, those experiences can improve our mental health.

Subject-verb agreement: 'having dreams' is singular in sense, so verb should be 'makes' (also relates to ID 27 but per list use present tense issue). 'More bright' should be 'brighter' (comparative adjective). 'When we were making apples' is irrelevant and awkward; likely intended 'when we try to achieve something'. 'That experiences improve our health' is ungrammatical; use 'those experiences can improve our mental health.' Suggestion: ensure subject and verb agree and choose appropriate tense and adjectives. ID:6

× Yes, I really want to do as I said.

✓ Yes, I really want to do what I said.

'Do as I said' is understandable but 'do what I said' is more natural. No -ing form required here; original is acceptable conversationally but correction improves clarity. Suggestion: prefer 'do what I said' for natural expression. ID:8

× My dream is to study abroad in Italy 'cause I wanna study theology there and recently I'm studying hard to make the dreams come true.

✓ My dream is to study abroad in Italy because I want to study theology there, and recently I have been studying hard to make my dream come true.

Use formal 'because' instead of colloquial ''cause', and 'wanna' should be 'want to'. 'The dreams' should be 'my dream' to match singular. Use present perfect continuous 'have been studying' to indicate recent ongoing action. Suggestion: avoid colloquial contractions in formal responses and match singular/plural nouns and verb tense for ongoing actions. ID:26