Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 改进语法时态和冠词使用，句子要更自然，信息要更集中。现在回答时有时态混用（如“I’m a child”应为“I was a child”），冠词错误（“a engineer”应为“an engineer”），动词形式和时态不一致（“lose interest”应为“lost interest”）。建议先用一句话直接回答，然后补充一两句具体细节，最多不超过五句。可以用连接词（because, so, therefore）让逻辑更清楚。

例: When I was a child, I wanted to become an engineer. However, in secondary school I struggled with maths and physics, so I lost interest and realized it might not be realistic for me.

提案: 提高表达流利度和句子结构的准确性，避免重复。注意冠词和代词用法（“a engineer”→“an engineer”；“that's regarding the engineer”不自然）。建议先用一句简单直接的陈述，然后补充谁知道以及举一个具体例子说明怎样分享。使用连接词如“and”或“so”连接句子。

例: Yes, I told my parents and friends that I wanted to be an engineer. For example, I chose engineering-related subjects at school and often discussed my plans with my mother.

提案: 修正单复数和用词（“dream”应为“dreams”；“directness”用词不当，应为“directionlessness”或“a lack of direction”）。内容具有观点和理由，但可更具体，举例或说明如何影响人。保持两到三句即可，用连接词如“because”或“for example”。

例: Yes, I think dreams are important because they reflect our ambitions and motivate us to keep improving. For example, having a clear goal helped me focus on studying certain subjects and planning my career.

提案: 结构清晰，逻辑连贯，但第一句太泛泛可省略或改为更个人化的表达。注意用词精确（“necessary qualifications”很好），可增加一两句关于新目标的具体细节以增强内容深度。使用连接词如“so”或“therefore”来衔接原因与结果。

例: Yes, I definitely want to make my dreams come true. Since becoming an engineer is unrealistic for me, I decided to pursue a career in project management and am now taking courses and gaining relevant experience.

× When I'm a child, I want to be a engineer, but when I was in secondary school I realized I didn't have much talent for engineer because I struggled with the math and physics, so I eventually lose interest.

✓ When I was a child, I wanted to be an engineer, but when I was in secondary school I realized I didn't have much talent for engineering because I struggled with math and physics, so I eventually lost interest.

错误类型：现在时/过去时使用不当。问题在于句子描述的是过去的经历，时态应一致使用过去时。建议：将“I’m a child”改为“I was a child”；“I want”改为“I wanted”；“engineer”在此处应为名词前加不定冠词并使用正确的词形（an engineer）；“talent for engineer”应为“talent for engineering”；“lose interest”应为过去式“lost interest”。此外去掉“the”在“math and physics”前通常不需要。这样句子时态一致，表达清晰。

× Sure. I told my mom and my family and my friends I want to be a engineer and also I choose the subject that's regarding the engineer. So that's absolutely I have told them.

✓ Sure. I told my mom, my family and my friends that I wanted to be an engineer, and I also chose subjects related to engineering. So yes, I had definitely told them.

错误类型：冠词和句子结构错误。说明：‘a engineer’ 应为 ‘an engineer’（以元音音素开头的单词前用an）；句中时态需与过往事实一致（told -> I wanted，choose -> chose）；‘the subject that's regarding the engineer’ 不自然，改为 ‘subjects related to engineering’ 更地道；最后一句“So that's absolutely I have told them.” 语序和时态都不对，改为“So yes, I had definitely told them.” 或 “So yes, I definitely told them.”。建议用冠词时注意音素，用词组时用固定搭配（related to），并保持时态一致。

× Yes, I think dream have an important meaning in life because they represent our ambitions and give us motivation to keep moving forward. Without dream, people can feel directness and lose their passion.

✓ Yes, I think dreams have an important meaning in life because they represent our ambitions and give us motivation to keep moving forward. Without dreams, people can feel directionless and lose their passion.

错误类型：现在时/单复数和词汇选择问题。说明：‘dream’ 作可数名词在泛指时应使用复数 ‘dreams’；原文 ‘directness’ 用词不当，想表达‘没有方向’应为 ‘directionless’。建议：将单数改为复数，替换不恰当词汇以表达正确含义。

× Of course, everyone wants their dreams to come true. Becoming an engineer isn't realistic for me because I don't have the necessary qualifications. So I choose a different goal and I'm working steadily toward it.

✓ Of course, everyone wants their dreams to come true. Becoming an engineer wasn't realistic for me because I didn't have the necessary qualifications, so I chose a different goal and I'm working steadily toward it.

错误类型：时态不一致。说明：句子整体在叙述过去关于工程师的可能性，第一句为一般判断可以保留现在时，但接下来谈及自己过去无法实现的梦想应使用过去时（isn't -> wasn't；don't have -> didn't have；choose -> chose）。最后‘I’m working steadily toward it.’ 可以保留现在进行时表示目前仍在努力。建议保持描述过去的部分用过去时，当前状态用现在进行时。