Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and avoid repetition. Add one or two specific details about a vivid dream and use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: I usually don't remember my dreams after waking up. However, occasionally I have very vivid dreams; for example, last month I dreamt I was lost in a huge library, which felt surprisingly real and left me thinking about it for hours.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, correct small errors, and use a linking word to contrast your views. Provide a short reason and a specific example of an interesting dream you heard to make the answer more concrete.

例: I usually don't share my dreams because I find them mostly meaningless. However, I enjoy listening to other people's dreams; for instance, a friend once dreamt about repeatedly failing an exam, which revealed her anxiety about work.

提案: State your position clearly, fix grammar, and give a specific example or brief explanation to support your view. Use linking words to contrast general and exceptional cases.

例: I believe most dreams are meaningless. Nevertheless, sometimes dreams may reflect subconscious concerns; for example, recurring nightmares about being chased can indicate underlying stress or fears, according to some psychologists.

提案: Provide a complete, well-structured answer without trailing off. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers, correct tense and phrasing, and include one specific reason or example of a dream you would like to realize. Keep the response within 2–4 sentences.

例: Not all my dreams, but I would like to make some come true — for example, the ability to fly. In several dreams I flew over my city, and if I could do that in real life I would enjoy the freedom and the chance to travel easily.

× Usually I do not recall my dreams after waking up.

✓ Usually I do not recall my dreams after waking up.

No change needed. The sentence correctly uses the present tense 'do not recall' to describe a habitual action.

× However sometimes I had such a vivid dreams that after waking up I'm thinking man that was intense and that was very weird and strange.

✓ However sometimes I have such vivid dreams that after waking up I think, 'Man, that was intense; that was very weird and strange.'

Original errors: incorrect past tense 'had' should be present tense 'have' for habitual experience (ID 5 vs ID 6), singular/plural 'a vivid dreams' should be 'such vivid dreams' (ID 1), incorrect present-continuous 'I'm thinking' should be simple present 'I think' for immediate reaction (ID 6), punctuation/quoting and wording adjusted for clarity. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual or typical reactions, remove redundant article 'a' before plural, and use commas or semicolons to separate clauses.

× Usually I don't share my dreams with other people because I think that dreams are mainly meaningless.

✓ Usually I don't share my dreams with other people because I think that dreams are mainly meaningless.

No change needed. This sentence correctly uses present simple for habitual actions and general beliefs.

× Although I like to listen to others people dreams because sometimes they're very interesting and show their true nature.

✓ Although I like to listen to other people's dreams because sometimes they're very interesting and reveal their true nature.

Errors: 'others people dreams' is incorrect word order and possessive form; should be 'other people's dreams' (ID 12). 'Show' is acceptable but 'reveal' is slightly more natural here. Suggestion: use possessive form with 'people' and correct word order.

× In my opinion, mostly dreams are meaningless.

✓ In my opinion, most dreams are meaningless.

'Mostly dreams' is awkward; 'most dreams' is the correct quantifier phrase (ID 14 and ID 6). Use 'most' to indicate the majority. Suggestion: use 'most' before the noun for generalization.

× However, sometimes they can show your shadow, nature or dark places, as many psychologists suggests.

✓ However, sometimes they can show your shadow, nature, or dark places, as many psychologists suggest.

Errors: 'psychologists suggests' has subject-verb agreement issue: plural subject 'psychologists' needs verb 'suggest' (ID 27 and ID 5). Also 'your shadow' is inconsistent with 'they' referring to dreams in general; using 'your' is acceptable if addressing the listener but keep consistency. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with plural subject and keep comma before 'or' optional but improves clarity.

× Well, not all of them, but, uh, sometimes I think that they would be great to have the ability to fly like in dreams, because in dreams I flew a lot about the city.

✓ Well, not all of them, but sometimes I think it would be great to have the ability to fly like in dreams, because in dreams I often flew over the city.

Errors: 'they would be great to have the ability' is awkward; use 'it would be great to have the ability' (sentence structure error ID 26 and future/modal ID 7/4). 'I flew a lot about the city' uses incorrect preposition 'about' and awkward adverb placement; use 'flew over the city' and 'often' for frequency (ID 11 and ID 20). Suggestion: use 'it' as dummy subject for impersonal constructions and correct preposition 'over'.

× I could travel and.

✓ I could travel around the city.

Original fragment 'I could travel and.' is incomplete and lacks a complement or continuation (ID 23 and ID 26). Provide a complete clause such as 'I could travel around the city.' Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and complete the idea with a clear object or adverbial phrase.'