Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 注意减少填充词（如“umm”,“uh”），并用一到两句清晰的主题句加一两句具体细节。可以用更自然的表达来描述梦境，如用“I often dream that I can fly”并说明频率、感觉和细节。句子不要超过五句，保持连贯性并使用连接词如“and” 或 “because”。

例: I often dream that I can fly, usually a few times a year. In these dreams I fly just a few meters above the ground, maybe five to eight meters, which feels magical and peaceful. I also sometimes dream about swimming, and both dreams make me feel free.

提案: 回答要直接并给出具体细节，例如谁、什么时候以及对方的反应。减少语法错误和不必要的停顿，使用连接词如“so”或“because”来解释你的感受。用‘meaning’替代‘mean’。

例: Yes, I often share my dreams with my family. Recently I told my father about my flying dream and he said he had the same dream, which surprised me. So we talked about it but we still don't know what the dream might mean.

提案: 需要更清晰地表达观点并给出具体理由或例子。避免语法错误（例如“the dream is means”应为“dreams can mean”）。使用连接词如“because”或“for example”来组织理由。把“不必要的”词去掉并说清文化背景和自己的看法。

例: Yes, I think dreams can have special meanings. In my country people often believe dreams predict the future or symbolize something about your life, so many people pay attention to them. For example, dreaming about water might be seen as a sign of change.

提案: 回答要更有条理：直接回答“yes”或“no”，然后用一两句解释不同类型的梦和你的态度。避免含糊和语法错误，使用短句并举具体例子（例如好梦想实现，噩梦不希望实现）。

例: It depends. For positive dreams like achieving a high score in an exam, I would definitely like them to come true. But if I dream about falling off a bike or other bad events, I would not want those to happen, so I hope they don't come true.

× I usually had a dream about, I am a flyer and, uh, a flight over the ground.

✓ I usually had a dream that I was flying and that I flew over the ground.

原句中用法混乱：'I am a flyer' 与上下文时态不一致且不自然；应使用动词的 -ing 形式或过去进行时来表达梦中持续发生的动作。建议用 'I was flying' 或 'I dreamed I was flying' 来描述梦境的进行状态。

× It's not very high, maybe just about umm, 5 or 8 meters to the ground.

✓ It wasn't very high, maybe just about 5 or 8 meters above the ground.

原句时态与前文 'had a dream'（过去）不一致，应使用过去式 'wasn't'。此外习惯用法是 'meters above the ground' 而不是 'to the ground'。数词前不需要多余的 'umm'。

× I think that's very magic and I like a swimmer.

✓ I think that's very magical, and I like swimming.

'magic' 作形容词应为 'magical'；'I like a swimmer' 错把名词短语当喜好对象，正确表达是动名词 'I like swimming'（喜欢游泳/喜欢当游泳者）。

× Yes, I shared my dream with my family and the surprise is my father told he also had this dream.

✓ Yes, I shared my dream with my family, and to my surprise my father said he had also had the same dream.

时态与表达需一致：主句为过去 'shared'，从句应使用过去完成时或过去时 'had also had/ had' 来表示在过去也做过的动作；'my father told he' 不正确，英语中应为 'my father said he' 或 'to my surprise my father said'. 'to my surprise' 更符合习惯表达。

× So I think it's a little weird but I don't know the mean of this dream.

✓ So I think it's a little strange, but I don't know the meaning of this dream.

'weird' 可用 'strange' 更自然；'the mean' 是错误单词，应为名词 'meaning' 表示梦的含义。句子结构上要把并列连词 'but' 两边保持完整。

× Yes, I do, because in our country's culture, uh, the dream is means, uh, something you will be, uh, do or something is the opposite face.

✓ Yes, I do, because in our country's culture, a dream means something that will happen to you, or something that is the opposite of reality.

原句时态和词序混乱：'the dream is means' 语法错误，应为 'a dream means'（一般现在时表示普遍真理）。'something you will be, uh, do' 混乱不通顺，应改为 'something that will happen to you'。'opposite face' 用词不当，应为 'the opposite of reality' 或 'the opposite of what actually happens'。

× So I think the dream uh, is necessary for study.

✓ So I think dreams are useful for study.

原句 'the dream is necessary for study' 含义不清且单复数不当。若指梦境对研究（study）有用，应改为复数 'dreams are'；'necessary for study' 不自然，改为 'useful for study' 更贴切。

× I wanna uh, the different result if the dream is well, I got the score about 9 I think yes, I really wanted come true.

✓ It depends on the dream. If the dream is good—like dreaming I got a score of about 9—then yes, I really want it to come true.

原句结构混乱，口语俚语 'wanna' 在正式修正中应为 'want to' 或 'want'；'the different result' 不明确，需用从句 'It depends on the dream' 来引入条件；'I really wanted come true' 时态和语法错误，应为 'I really want it to come true'. 'I got the score about 9' 更自然为 'I got a score of about 9'.

× But if something like uh, uh, you are fall down from the bicycle when you go the way to go to school, I think that's a bad thing.

✓ But if something like you falling off your bicycle while you're on your way to school happens, I think that's a bad thing.

原句时态和动词形式错误：'you are fall down' 错误，应使用动名词短语 'you falling off' 或过去式 'you fall off'；'when you go the way to go to school' 冗长且不自然，应改为 'while you're on your way to school'. 保持时态一致并使用正确的非谓语结构。

× So I wanna it come true.

✓ So I don't want that to happen.

原句意思矛盾并且语法错误：'I wanna it come true' 试图表达不想让坏事发生，应改为否定结构 'I don't want that to happen'。'wanna' 应换为 'want to' 在书面或标准表达中。