Teacher— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn, mạch lạc hơn và tránh ngập ngừng. Bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trực tiếp (ví dụ: I do have a favourite teacher.) rồi nêu tên và vai trò của thầy/cô. Sau đó cung cấp 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể về cách thầy/cô giúp bạn, dùng liên từ (e.g., because, so, and) để liên kết ý. Giữ độ dài dưới 5 câu, sửa lỗi ngữ pháp như số ít/ số nhiều và dùng từ chính xác (supervisor, PhD/BS/D-based course nếu cần).

例: I do have a favourite teacher. His name is Dr. Humanseen and he was my supervisor for my PSD course. He helped me a lot by sending important research papers and giving detailed feedback on my work. Because of his guidance, I improved my research methods and completed my project successfully.

提案: Câu trả lời cần cụ thể hơn và mạch lạc; tránh lặp từ như “you know” và dùng thì phù hợp. Nêu lý do ngắn gọn, rõ ràng (ví dụ: long time/no contact, lifestyle change), dùng liên từ nếu nêu thêm lý do. Giữ 1–3 câu và sửa cấu trúc (e.g., I became a Buddhist monk and withdrew from contact).

例: No, I am not still in touch with my primary school teacher. We lost contact a long time ago because I moved away and later became a Buddhist monk, which led me to live a more isolated life.

提案: Cần cấu trúc rõ ràng: mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn, sau đó liệt kê cụ thể các cách thầy giúp (gửi tài liệu, góp ý, hướng dẫn phương pháp) với liên từ phù hợp. Tránh ngập ngừng và dùng thì đúng (e.g., he sent, he gave). Thêm một chi tiết cụ thể sẽ giúp câu trả lời thuyết phục hơn (ví dụ: một loại tài liệu hoặc một thay đổi cụ thể bạn đã thực hiện theo lời khuyên).

例: He helped me in several concrete ways. For example, he sent me relevant journal articles and data sources for my topic, and he gave me detailed feedback on how to improve my methodology. Thanks to his advice, I redesigned my experiment and obtained much clearer results.

提案: Câu trả lời nên diễn đạt mục tiêu rõ ràng và mạch lạc: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề (Yes, I would), sau đó phân biệt hai loại giáo viên bạn muốn trở thành và nêu lý do cụ thể. Tránh lỗi từ vựng (ví dụ: 'Buddha teachings' thay vì 'Buddha stitchings') và hoàn thành ý (improve their emotional skills as well as ...). Giữ dưới 5 câu và dùng từ phù hợp (spread, teach, help).

例: Yes, I would love to be a teacher in the future. I am interested in both secular teaching and religious teaching; specifically, I want to teach Buddhist teachings to help people develop emotional skills and cope better with stress. Teaching in this way would allow me to support others’ personal growth.

× I have uh, more than one favorite teachers, uh, but a specific I just want to talk about doctor.

✓ I have, uh, more than one favorite teacher, but specifically I just want to talk about a doctor.

'Teachers' should be singular because 'more than one' is followed by a singular noun in formal usage; also articles and word order were incorrect. Suggestion: use 'more than one favorite teacher' or 'several favorite teachers'. Use 'specifically' and include the article 'a' before 'doctor'.

× I think human seen. He's not only my supervisor in PSD, uh, course, but also, umm, help me a lot related to my.

✓ I think his name is Human Seen. He's not only my supervisor in the PSD course, but he also helped me a lot with my research.

Pronoun and verb forms were incorrect and missing words. Use 'he' as subject for the second clause and past tense or present perfect depending on context; include 'the' before 'PSD course' and 'with' to show relation to 'my research'. Suggestion: restructure sentence to include subject and proper preposition.

× Are you still in touch with your primary school teacher? No, because, you know, when I was primary a school, it's so far from now.

✓ No, because, you know, when I was in primary school, it was so long ago.

Incorrect prepositional phrase 'primary a school' should be 'in primary school'. 'So far from now' is unnatural; use 'so long ago' or 'that was many years ago'. Suggestion: use 'in' for attending school and 'ago' for past time distance.

× And you know, when I decided to be become a Buddhist monk, I, you know, isolate.

✓ And, you know, when I decided to become a Buddhist monk, I isolated myself.

Reflexive pronoun 'myself' is required with 'isolate' when the subject performs the action on themselves. Also remove extra 'be' in 'be become'. Suggestion: use 'isolate myself' or 'isolated myself' depending on tense.

× Because he's my supervisor in BSD course, so he helped me a lot.

✓ Because he's my supervisor in the BSD course, he has helped me a lot.

Mixing present ('he's') with simple past ('helped') causes tense inconsistency. Use present perfect 'has helped' to link past actions to the present since he is still the supervisor. Also remove redundant 'so'.

× I uh, he uh, send me documents related to my topic as well as to, you know, umm, umm, uh, give me some feedback on what should I do in my research.

✓ He sent me documents related to my topic and also gave me feedback on what I should do in my research.

Pronoun and verb forms are incorrect: 'I uh, he uh' is disfluent; use 'He' as subject. Use past tense consistently 'sent' and 'gave' if referring to past actions. In indirect questions use 'what I should do' not 'what should I do'. Suggestion: form statements not direct questions inside reported speech.

× So I love him a lot.

✓ So I appreciate him a lot.

'Love' is acceptable but may be unnatural for a professional relationship; not a grammar error strictly, but stylistically 'appreciate' fits better. Keep sentence structure clear.

× Yes, definitely I would love to become a teacher, but it's not only, it's about secular teacher, it's about religious teacher.

✓ Yes, definitely I would love to become a teacher, but it's not only about being a secular teacher; it's also about being a religious teacher.

Missing gerund 'being' after 'about' and singular/plural consistency. Also punctuation and conjunctions need fixing. Suggestion: use 'about being a secular teacher' and 'also about being a religious teacher'.

× I mean, I can, uh, spread the Buddha stitchings to help people to improve their, uh, emotional skills as well as.

✓ I mean, I can spread the Buddha's teachings to help people improve their emotional skills as well.

Incorrect noun 'stitchings' should be 'teachings' and possessive 'Buddha's' is needed. Remove redundant 'to' after 'help people'. End the sentence properly rather than leaving 'as well' hanging. Suggestion: use 'help people improve' and complete the comparison if needed.