Cakes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 注意句子结构与连贯性，避免重复信息（例如重复提到“usually”与“occasionally”矛盾），并把句子合并成更自然的表达。可以用连接词（because, so, for example）更清晰地组织信息，同时把时态和细节统一。

例: Yes, I enjoy sweet foods because they lift my mood. For example, I usually eat a small piece of dark chocolate after breakfast to give me a quick energy boost.

提案: 答案内容较好但有重复（moon cakes和 mooncakes 多次出现）且句子可以更紧凑。建议先给出直接回答，再用一两个具体细节（节日、象征意义）支持，使用连接词使句子更流畅。

例: Yes, there are many traditional Chinese cakes. For example, mooncakes are eaten during the Mid-Autumn Festival and often symbolize family reunion.

提案: 注意语法时态和措辞（例如“learn”应为“learned”，“professional Baker”中的大写不必要，最后一句自相矛盾——喜欢的自制蛋糕却说是“bought”）。改写时要保持一致并避免冲突性细节，同时把细节控制在最多五句内。

例: Yes, I can bake. I learned from my grandmother, who was a professional baker and taught me many recipes when I was young. Baking now always reminds me of those special moments, and my favorite is a simple homemade chocolate cake I often make.

提案: 答案生动且有具体记忆，但有小的语法问题（例如“when as a child”应重构）和时态一致性。建议用一两句先给出总体看法，再用一个具体事件支持，并用连接词衔接。

例: Yes, I loved chocolate cake as a child because it felt like a special treat. I remember one birthday when my whole family gathered and we shared a big homemade chocolate cake, which made the occasion unforgettable.

提案: 避免重复之前已说过的信息，注意语法（例如“have a habit to have”改为“have a habit of having”，“which give”改为“which gives”）。可以简洁表达频率和原因，使回答更自然。

例: Yes, I occasionally have dessert after meals. For instance, I have a piece of dark chocolate after breakfast because it gives me a quick energy boost.

× Give me a quick boost of energy.

✓ They give me a quick boost of energy.

原句为片段句，缺少主语。前句提到“cakes or some other sweets”，意思是“它们给我快速的能量提升”，因此需要用复数主语“they”。建议习惯于在句子中包含明确主语，避免独立的句子片段。

× There are many traditional Chinese cakes, for example moon cakes, which Chinese usually eat mooncakes during the Mid Autumn festival, and mooncakes often symbolize family reunion.

✓ There are many traditional Chinese cakes; for example, mooncakes — Chinese usually eat mooncakes during the Mid-Autumn Festival, and mooncakes often symbolize family reunion.

原句存在结构混乱和标点问题，且重复使用“mooncakes”导致冗余。需要使用分号或连字符分开并加逗号来让句子更通顺。同时“Mid-Autumn Festival”应首字母大写并加连字符。建议将长句拆分或用合适标点，保持信息清晰。

× I learn to bake from my grandmother, who used to be a professional Baker and told me many recipes when I was young.

✓ I learned to bake from my grandmother, who used to be a professional baker and taught me many recipes when I was young.

句子时态不一致：叙述过去的经历应使用过去时“learned”。另外动词“told”后接“recipes”不自然，应用“teach/ taught”表示教某人做某事。名词“baker”不需要大写。建议统一使用过去时来描述过去经历，并用合适的动词。

× When I make cakes now, I always remember those special moments with my grandmother, and my favorite is the simple homemade chocolate cake that I bought.

✓ When I make cakes now, I always remember those special moments with my grandmother, and my favourite is the simple homemade chocolate cake that I used to bake with her.

原句中“that I bought”与上下文不符（叙述与祖母一起做蛋糕的回忆），应改为“that I used to bake with her”或“that she used to make”。此外“favourite”拼写可根据英美变化（美式为 favorite）。建议确保持代词和谓语与语境一致，表达清晰。

× Yes, I adored chocolate cake when as a child it was always my favorite because I feel like a special treat.

✓ Yes, I adored chocolate cake when I was a child; it was always my favorite because it felt like a special treat.

句中时态混用：主句为过去时“adored”，但从句使用了现在时“feel”。应将从句改为过去时“felt”。此外“when as a child”语序错误，应为“when I was a child”。建议描述过去经历时统一使用过去时，并注意从句语序。

× For example, I have a habit to have a piece of dark chocolate after breakfast which give me a boost of energy.

✓ For example, I have a habit of having a piece of dark chocolate after breakfast which gives me a boost of energy.

原句中不定式“have a habit to have”用法不当，正确表达是“have a habit of doing”。此外定语从句中主语为“a piece of dark chocolate”（单数），谓语动词应为“gives”。建议学习固定搭配“have a habit of doing”和主谓一致规则。