Internet— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar errors; give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition ("research" and "report"). Use past simple consistently for past events and name only a couple of search tools.

例: I began using the internet in high school. I mainly used it to research school projects, for example I would look up articles and statistics on Google to prepare reports and class presentations.

提案: Make the answer more natural and structured: start with a clear frequency statement, then give one or two typical activities with linking words. Remove filler sounds and avoid listing too many places.

例: I go online several times a day, both at home and when I'm out. For example, I check Facebook and message friends in the morning, and in the evening I post pictures and short videos on Instagram and TikTok.

提案: Avoid hesitation fillers and vague or censored words. Give one concise description of the situation and a brief result or lesson. Use past simple consistently and correct contractions and tenses.

例: Yes. When I was in high school my parents grounded me for a month because they suspected I was watching inappropriate videos. During that month I showed them I could follow the rules and later discussed healthy internet use with them.

提案: Clarify and organize your answer: state your opinion, give a specific example of the effect, and state what you will do to improve. Avoid unclear phrases like "calculate everything" and correct grammar.

例: Yes, I do. I spend so much time online that my daily tasks often get delayed, for example I sometimes finish homework late because I was scrolling social media. To improve, I plan to set daily time limits for social apps and schedule specific study hours.

提案: Provide a clear, developed answer with one or two specific activities and a brief reason. Avoid vague endings and fillers. Use linking words to connect ideas and finish the thought logically.

例: If I had no internet, I would spend more time meeting friends in person, such as going for coffee or playing sports. I think social media makes people less social in real life, so without it I would focus more on face-to-face conversations and outdoor activities.

× Whenever I need to research about a specific topic like for example I have a report and I need to to report it in front of the class, I will first research it using the Internet like Google, Yahoo and many other things.

✓ Whenever I need to research a specific topic, for example when I have a report to present in front of the class, I first research it using the internet, such as Google, Yahoo and other sources.

The phrase 'research about' is incorrect because 'research' as a verb does not require the preposition 'about' (type 8). Also 'to to report' is a typo and should be 'to present' to fit the context. Use of '-ing' is not required here; the correct infinitive and noun forms improve clarity. Replace 'the Internet' with 'the internet' for style consistency and change 'many other things' to 'other sources' for precision.

× I go online every time, whenever I'm at home, whenever I'm at work, at school, or just having coffee outside.

✓ I go online all the time: whenever I am at home, at work, at school, or just having coffee outside.

The original 'every time' is awkward; 'all the time' better expresses frequency (type 6). Contractions are acceptable but expanded here for formality. Maintain present simple 'go' for habitual action and streamline the list for parallel structure.

× I always surf the Internet, uh, doing Facebook, messaging my friends, posting videos and pictures on Instagram and TikTok.

✓ I always surf the internet, using Facebook, messaging my friends, and posting videos and pictures on Instagram and TikTok.

'Doing Facebook' is incorrect; use 'using Facebook' or 'browsing Facebook' (type 8). Use parallel -ing forms correctly: 'using', 'messaging', 'posting' to list simultaneous activities. Lowercase 'internet' for consistency.

× I remember back when I was in high school, I was grounded by my parents because they thought I was watching ****.

✓ I remember back when I was in high school I was grounded by my parents because they thought I had been watching ****.

The parents' belief refers to an action before the grounding, so past perfect 'had been watching' is more appropriate to show the earlier past (type 5). This clarifies the sequence of events.

× So they didn't allow me to watch, uh, other videos online for about one month, and there I proved to them that I'm not gonna watch ****.

✓ So they didn't allow me to watch other videos online for about a month, and I proved to them that I was not going to watch ****.

Maintain past tense throughout this past narrative. 'I'm not gonna' mixes present and informal future with a past context; use past 'was not going to' (type 5). Also remove filler 'uh' and use 'a month' instead of 'one month' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I think so. I actually spend most of my time online.

✓ Yes, I think so. I actually spend most of my time online.

No correction needed for grammar here; sentence correctly uses present simple for a habitual fact. (No applicable error from the list.)

× I think it has an effect already when it comes to my daily tasks.

✓ I think it already affects my daily tasks.

Use present simple 'affects' to express a current, general effect rather than the awkward construction 'has an effect already' (type 6). This revision is more natural and concise.

× So I might as well calculate everything now since it's not doing good, so I'll do better.

✓ So I might as well plan everything now since it's not going well, so I'll do better.

'Calculate everything' is odd in this context; 'plan everything' fits better. 'Not doing good' is incorrect; use 'not going well' (type 7). 'I'll do better' is fine as future intention. Keep modal 'might' consistent with future planning.

× I would just go to my friends and spend time with them.

✓ I would go to my friends and spend time with them.

Minor redundancy: 'just' is unnecessary but not ungrammatical. The structure 'I would go' correctly expresses hypothetical action without 'just'. No major grammatical error from the list, but simplified for clarity (type 7).

× I actually thought of this question before and I believe that social media made everything possible, but it, you know, makes everyone socialize lesser than we.

✓ I actually thought about this question before, and I believe that social media has made many things possible, but it has reduced people's social interactions compared with how we used to socialize.

Multiple issues: 'thought of this question before' should be 'thought about' (type 26). 'Made everything possible' is exaggerated; 'has made many things possible' fits better. 'Makes everyone socialize lesser than we' is ungrammatical: 'lesser' used incorrectly, comparison object 'we' is wrong—use 'less than we used to' or 'compared with before' (types 19 and 26). Also tense consistency: present perfect 'has made' for effects continuing to now, and present 'has reduced' for ongoing effect.