Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler, and give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I'm not a big fan of science. I find abstract concepts like physics formulas confusing and hard to apply, so I prefer history and literature where I can relate ideas to stories and real-life examples.

提案: Good structure and content; improve accuracy and fluency by correcting small grammar mistakes and combining short sentences with linking words.

例: I was first introduced to science in third grade at primary school. Our textbook, called Natural Science, covered basics like physics and biology, and I enjoyed it because hands-on experiments made the ideas much easier to understand.

提案: Clarify vocabulary and avoid incorrect words; use one clear reason with an example and use linking words like "however" correctly.

例: Biology interested me most in high school because I usually got good marks and enjoyed learning about living organisms. However, I found physics and chemistry harder because they required memorizing many formulas.

提案: Organize details logically, correct tense and word choice, and use linking words to show cause and effect. Be specific about what you learned and why it mattered.

例: I remember a school experiment where we made a simple telephone from two paper cups and a string. We pulled the string tight and when one person spoke into a cup, the other could hear through the string; this showed how vibrations travel through solids and made me more interested in physics, especially because my family did not have a telephone at home then.

提案: Keep it concise and fix small pronunciation-reflecting repetitions and grammar. Give a brief example of the type of documentary you prefer to add specificity.

例: I'm not a big fan of science TV programs, although some are interesting. I prefer documentaries about people and history—for example, biographical series—because I enjoy human stories more than technical explanations.

提案: Avoid excessive hesitation and correct factual and grammatical errors; answer the general question first, then give your personal experience with clear time markers and correct tense. Use linking words to contrast past and present.

例: In general, many Chinese people do visit science museums, especially in major cities. When I was young in a rural area we couldn’t afford trips, but now China's economy is better and living in Beijing I have had more opportunities to visit museums.

× I often struggle with abject concepts, especially physics formulas which I find confusing, hard and difficult to apply.

✓ I often struggle with abstract concepts, especially physics formulas, which I find confusing and difficult to apply.

The word 'abject' is incorrect; the intended adjective is 'abstract'. Also 'confusing, hard and difficult' is redundant; combine with 'confusing and difficult'. Use a comma before the relative clause 'which I find...'.

× We where ideas feel more con concent.

✓ I prefer subjects where ideas feel more concrete.

The sentence has multiple errors: 'We' should be 'where' or 'which' in context; 'con concent' is a misspelling of 'concrete'. The corrected sentence matches the intended meaning and uses proper structure.

× Can I can relate them to story and real life examples?

✓ I can relate them to stories and real-life examples.

The sentence wrongly begins with a question form 'Can I can'. It should be a declarative 'I can'. Also 'story' should be plural 'stories' and 'real-life' should be hyphenated as a compound modifier.

× I was first introduced to science in primary school around three grade.

✓ I was first introduced to science in primary school around third grade.

Use ordinal 'third' rather than cardinal 'three' when referring to grade levels. The structure 'I was first introduced to...' is fine.

× Our textbook was called Natural Science.

✓ Our textbook was called 'Natural Science'.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but the title of a book is typically marked as a title; in speech no change necessary. If changing, add markers (quotes) but in spoken answer it's optional. (Kept as title form.)

× I was most interested in biology in high school because I usually got high Marks and enjoy enjoyed learning about living algorithms.

✓ I was most interested in biology in high school because I usually got high marks and enjoyed learning about living organisms.

Mixed tenses and wrong word 'algorithms' instead of 'organisms'. Use past tense 'enjoyed' to match 'was' and 'got'. 'Marks' should be lowercase 'marks'.

× I found physicals and chemistry more difficult, however, because they involved many formulas that we had to remember.

✓ I found physics and chemistry more difficult, however, because they involved many formulas that we had to remember.

'Physicals' is incorrect for the subject name; use 'physics'. The rest of the sentence is fine.

× It reminds me of a school experiment where we used 2 paper cups and a piece of string to make a simple telephone.

✓ It reminds me of a school experiment where we used two paper cups and a piece of string to make a simple telephone.

Use words for small numbers in formal speech: 'two' instead of '2'. No tense error; 'reminds' is present tense appropriate for describing a memory, acceptable.

× We structure the string tightly and then one person spoken into a cup.

✓ We stretched the string tightly and then one person spoke into a cup.

Incorrect verb forms: 'structure' is wrong verb; 'stretched' or 'pulled' is correct in past narrative. 'spoken' should be past simple 'spoke'. Ensure past tense consistency for the story.

× The other person could hear the wealth through the screen, which showed me how vibration can travel through solid.

✓ The other person could hear the sound through the string, which showed me how vibrations can travel through solids.

Many incorrect words: 'wealth' should be 'sound'; 'screen' should be 'string'. Use plural 'vibrations' and 'solids' for general statements. Maintain past narrative with 'could hear'.

× Make me more interested in physicals.

✓ It made me more interested in physics.

Sentence fragment 'Make me...' lacks subject and correct tense. Change to past simple 'It made me...' and correct 'physicals' to 'physics'.

× Actually, that time my home didn't own a telephone, and I think it's very interesting.

✓ At that time my home didn't have a telephone, and I thought it was very interesting.

Use 'at that time' instead of 'actually, that time'. 'Didn't own a telephone' is awkward; 'didn't have a telephone' is natural. Maintain past tense 'thought' to match narrative.

× To be honest, I'm not big fan of science TV programs, even though some can be interesting.

✓ To be honest, I'm not a big fan of science TV programs, even though some can be interesting.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'big fan'.

× I prefer watching documentaries because I I enjoy stories about people and history more than technical explanations.

✓ I prefer watching documentaries because I enjoy stories about people and history more than technical explanations.

Typo 'I I' duplicated pronoun; remove duplicate. Sentence otherwise fine.

× Uh, definitely, uh, I, when I was young, uh, that, that time, umm Cha Cha Chena's economy were, was not good.

✓ When I was young, China's economy was not good.

Remove disfluencies and repetition. Use 'China's' for possessive and singular verb 'was' for 'economy'.

× And, and, uh, what's more, I live in rural areas.

✓ I lived in rural areas.

Narrative is past; change 'live' to past 'lived'. Also 'rural areas' is fine; for a more natural single location use 'a rural area' but keeping plural is acceptable. Ensure tense consistency.

× So I didn't, I, I didn't have any chance to visit Science Museum.

✓ So I didn't have any chance to visit a science museum.

Remove repeated pronouns. Use indefinite article 'a' and lowercase 'science museum' unless specific museum name.

× But nowadays, China's economy won't become well.

✓ But nowadays, China's economy has become better.

'Won't become well' is incorrect and awkward. To express improvement by now use present perfect 'has become better' or simple present 'is better'.

× And I live in Beijing and I often, uh, watch.

✓ And I live in Beijing now and I often visit museums.

Original ends abruptly 'watch.' Complete the idea: 'visit museums' fits question context. Change 'live' to present 'live' if speaker currently lives there; keep tense consistent with previous sentence.

× Some students went to science museums.

✓ Nowadays, many students go to science museums.

To refer to general present practice, use present simple 'go' and 'many students' instead of past 'went'. Matches 'nowadays' context.