Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes, I do.), then give one or two specific reasons using correct grammar and relevant vocabulary. Avoid unnecessary words and repetition.

例: Yes, I do. I study science and mathematics at school, and my favorite subject is biology because I enjoy learning about human and animal anatomy. For example, I like studying how organs work and comparing different species.

提案: Give a clear time reference and one specific supporting detail. Use correct tense (past) and linking words to make the answer coherent.

例: I started learning science when I was in primary school. Later in secondary school I had laboratory classes, which helped me understand animal anatomy better because I could see specimens and perform experiments.

提案: Respond directly and provide one or two specific details. Use linking words and correct vocabulary (cells, plants, animals). Avoid filler words like "umm".

例: Biology is my favorite subject because I enjoy studying the bodies of animals and plants. For instance, using a microscope to observe cells makes lessons more engaging and helps me understand how organisms function.

提案: Mention one or two specific activities and describe what you learned or how you benefited. Keep sentences short and logical with linking words.

例: One interesting activity was observing plant and animal cells under a microscope. Doing laboratory practicals like this improved my observation skills and helped me understand cellular structure.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear example of a program or topic you like. Use precise vocabulary (discoveries, developments) and avoid hesitations.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy watching science programs about recent discoveries and wildlife. For example, I like documentaries that show animal behavior and evolutionary developments.

提案: Be specific and avoid vague phrasing. State whether people often visit and give one clear reason with an example. Use simpler correct grammar rather than unclear phrases.

例: Yes, many Chinese people visit science museums because they are educational and entertaining. For example, families often take children to museums to see dinosaur exhibits and interactive science displays.

× I start to learn science when I was younger allow are the secondary school and I love to learn and anymore when I operate them in the laboratory at school, it helps me to understand and learn about the body with the animal and I.

✓ I started to learn science when I was younger, around secondary school, and I loved learning even more when I worked in the laboratory at school; it helped me understand animal and human bodies.

The original mixes present and past incorrectly. The event of beginning learning happened in the past, so the past tense 'started' and 'loved' are required. 'Allow are the secondary school' is incorrect phrasing; use 'around secondary school.' 'Operate them in the laboratory' is unnatural; use 'worked in the laboratory.' Also 'the body with the animal and I' is unclear; corrected to 'animal and human bodies' to convey meaning clearly. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past events and choose natural collocations like 'work in the laboratory' and clear noun phrases like 'animal and human bodies.'

× I start to learn science when I was younger allow are the secondary school and I love to learn and anymore when I operate them in the laboratory at school, it helps me to understand and learn about the body with the animal and I.

✓ I started learning science when I was younger, around secondary school, and I enjoyed it more when I worked in the school laboratory because it helped me understand animal and human bodies.

Similar issue: wrong verb tenses and awkward phrasing. Use 'started learning' or 'started to learn' for past start; 'enjoyed' matches past context. 'Operate them' is wrong verb choice; 'worked in the laboratory' is natural. Rephrase for clarity and coherence. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and replace awkward verbs with common collocations.

× I really like Siam because I study in the science and mathematic and also the more subject I like inside is biology because I can learn about the anatomy and everything with animal and human that's.

✓ I really like science because I study science and mathematics, and my favorite subject is biology because I can learn about anatomy and everything about animals and humans.

Prepositions and article usage are incorrect: 'study in the science' should be 'study science' or 'study in science,' but simpler 'study science' is correct. 'Mathematic' should be 'mathematics.' 'The more subject I like inside is' is ungrammatical; use 'my favorite subject is.' 'Everything with animal and human' needs 'about animals and humans.' Suggestion: Use correct noun forms, simple verb structures, and 'about' to indicate topics studied.

× I would say biology is the most favorite subject that I interest in because I love to learn to umm, know about their body of animal and plant.

✓ I would say biology is my favorite subject because I am interested in it; I love learning about the bodies of animals and plants.

'I interest in' is incorrect; the correct structure is 'I am interested in' or 'that interests me.' 'Most favorite' is redundant; use 'favorite' alone. 'Learn to know about' is wordy; use 'learn about.' 'Their body of animal and plant' should be 'the bodies of animals and plants.' Suggestion: Use adjectival phrase 'interested in' and avoid redundant modifiers like 'most.'

× It helps me when I use the microscope to see up to sale in the body of them.

✓ It helps me when I use the microscope to see cells in their bodies.

'See up to sale' is incorrect; intended word 'cells' and 'up to' unnecessary. 'In the body of them' is unnatural; use 'in their bodies.' Quantifier/word choice errors cause confusion. Suggestion: Use precise scientific terms ('cells') and natural possessive constructions ('their bodies').

× It helps me to feel like I'm interest and.

✓ It makes me feel interested.

Unfinished and ungrammatical: 'feel like I'm interest' should be 'feel interested' or 'feel like I'm interested.' Remove trailing 'and.' Suggestion: Use correct adjective form 'interested' after 'feel' and ensure sentences are complete.

× It helps me to practical the laboratory more interesting more in is helps me improves myself.

✓ It makes practical work in the laboratory more interesting and helps me improve myself.

Original mixes forms and uses incorrect words: 'to practical the laboratory' is wrong; use 'practical work in the laboratory.' 'More in is helps me improves myself' is ungrammatical; use 'and helps me improve myself.' 'Improve' should be base form after 'helps me.' Suggestion: Use noun phrase 'practical work,' coordinate clauses correctly with 'and,' and use base verb after 'help.'

× Yes, of course I'm a big fan of our science TV program, for example, the discoveries we can learn about the new thing in the news in the, in the big, big world.

✓ Yes, of course. I'm a big fan of science TV programs; for example, they cover discoveries and new developments from around the world.

Use plural 'programs' for general preference. 'Our science TV program' is odd unless referring to a specific show. 'We can learn about the new thing in the news in the big, big world' is awkward; rephrase to 'discoveries and new developments from around the world.' Suggestion: Use plural for general statements and concise phrasing for clarity.

× So, umm, we can learn about the animal, how the uh, developing in there until now and the new.

✓ So we can learn about animals, how they develop, and new discoveries about them.

'How the uh, developing in there until now' is ungrammatical and misuses prepositions. Use 'how they develop' for lifecycle/development and 'new discoveries about them' for current findings. Suggestion: Use clear subject pronouns ('they') and simple verb forms ('develop').

× Yes, of course. I think I see from the note that the Chinese people did they think the museum is interesting to learn about the artist, something like the animal, like dinosaur and other things like the, uh, something well, they heart in the museum and.

✓ Yes, of course. I think I have heard that Chinese people find museums interesting for learning about artifacts, animals like dinosaurs, and other exhibits on display there.

Many pronoun and word-choice errors: 'did they think' is wrong question-like insertion; use 'find' for general belief. 'Artist' likely intended 'artifacts' or 'art,' so choose 'artifacts' or 'exhibits.' 'They heart in the museum' is garbled; likely 'on display in the museum' or 'heard.' Replaced with 'on display there.' Suggestion: Use correct verbs for beliefs ('find'), choose accurate nouns ('artifacts,' 'exhibits'), and use standard collocations like 'on display.'