Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap açık ve ilgili ancak bazı dilbilgisi hataları, tekrarlamalar ve uzun cümleler var. ‘‘elementary grade’’ yerine ‘‘elementary school’’ demek daha doğal olur. Ayrıca tek bir konu cümlesiyle başlayıp ardından 1–2 kısa destekleyici cümle kullanmalısınız. Bağlaçları kullanarak cümleleri daha akıcı hale getirin ve gereksiz tekrarları azaltın.

例: Yes. My parents taught me to share when I was in elementary school. They always encouraged me because they believed sharing is an important habit. For example, I often lent my toys to classmates so we could play together.

提案: İyi fikir ama gereksiz tekrarlar ve konuşma diline özgü ifadeler ("we could fight", "some stuff") var. ‘‘Speaking ability’’ yerine daha doğal ifadeler kullanın ve neden paylaştığınızı kısa sebeplerle açıklayın. Ayrıca iki veya üç destekleyici cümleyle yetinin ve bağlaçları düzgün kullanın.

例: I usually share my opinions with others because I enjoy discussing ideas. I find conversations helpful for learning different perspectives, and sometimes we debate to clarify our views.

提案: Cevap doğrudan ve anlaşılır, ancak dilbilgisi hataları ve tekrarlı ifadeler var ("is an is not"). Atıf yaptığınız alıntıyı daha doğru aktarın ve kısa bir örnek veya gerekçe ekleyin. Ayrıca ‘‘hide your secrets’’ yerine ‘‘keep secrets private’’ daha uygun olur.

例: I would not share personal secrets. As the saying goes, a secret shared between two people is no longer a secret, so I prefer to keep private matters to myself—for instance, personal family problems.

提案: Cevap mantıklı fakat bazı dilbilgisi hataları ("laying down on bed" → "lying on my bed") ve dolaylı ifadeler var. Süreç açıklaması yaparken daha doğal ve kısa cümleler kullanın. Gereksiz tekrarları çıkarın ve net bir örnek verin.

例: Not really. I'm on a school break so I mostly study at home and relax. For example, I haven't done anything exciting recently worth sharing with others.

提案: Duygu ve örnek iyi, fakat dilbilgisi hataları ve tekrarlar var ("my mom" sık tekrarlanmış; "say" → "said"). Anlatımı daha akıcı yapmak için bir başlangıç cümlesi, bir sebep ve kısa bir örnek şeklinde düzenleyin. Zaman kiplerine dikkat edin.

例: I would tell my mother first because she always supports me. For instance, when I won a difficult competition, I went straight to her and she hugged me and said, "I'm so proud of you," which made my day.

提案: Cevap belirsiz ve dilbilgisi hataları mevcut ("things has been happening", "friends are not people who likes"). Konuyu netleştirip örnek verin; ayrıca gereksiz dolgu kelimelerden ("uh") kaçının. İki kısa cümleyle ne paylaştığınızı ve neden sınırlı olduğunu açıklayın.

例: I usually share recent life updates, like new hobbies or plans. However, I don't share too much because my friends prefer casual conversations and aren't interested in long stories.

× When I was in elementary grade, my parents always told me to share my stuff with everybody because they think sharing is the most important habit a person or a kid should have and that's why I always choose them as my model and share my stuff with people.

✓ When I was in elementary school, my parents always told me to share my things with everybody because they thought sharing was the most important habit a person should have, and that's why I always chose them as my role models and shared my things with people.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses; the narration refers to childhood so past tense should be used consistently. Change 'grade' to 'school' for natural phrasing, 'stuff' to 'things' for formality, 'think' to 'thought', 'is' to 'was', 'choose' to 'chose', and ensure verbs (told/shared) are in past tense. Suggestion: Keep the whole narrative in past tense when describing past routines; use 'school' and 'things' for clearer, more natural English.

× I mostly like to share my opinions with others.

✓ I mostly like sharing my opinions with others.

After 'like', both the infinitive and -ing form can be used, but 'like sharing' is more natural when discussing general preference. Use 'sharing' for smoother phrasing. Suggestion: Prefer 'like sharing' to express general habit.

× I think that's because I have a really good speaking ability and I love sharing my opinions with others so that they can learn and or we could fight or we could just talk about some stuff.

✓ I think that's because I have good speaking skills and I love sharing my opinions with others so that they can learn, or we can argue, or we can just talk about things.

'Ability' is unidiomatic here; 'skills' is better. 'We could' is inconsistent with present habitual context; use 'we can'. Also 'and or' is incorrect; use 'or'. Replace 'stuff' with 'things'. Suggestion: Use 'can' for general possibilities and choose precise nouns like 'skills' and 'things'.

× In my opinion, secrets are not suitable for sharing.

✓ In my opinion, secrets are not suitable for sharing.

No grammatical change needed; sentence is correct. (No action required since it matches problem types.)

× I heard a quote from my elder people that said a secret is an is not a secret anymore if it's shared by two people.

✓ I heard a saying from older people that a secret is not a secret anymore if it is shared by two people.

'Elder people' is incorrect; use 'older people'. The phrase contains an extra 'is'. 'Saying' or 'quote' can be used; 'saying' fits better. Use 'is not' without contraction in formal correction, and 'is shared' instead of contraction for clarity. Suggestion: Remove duplicated words and use 'older people' and 'saying'.

× I think that's really important to hide your secrets.

✓ I think it's really important to keep your secrets private.

Use 'it's' and a more natural collocation 'keep secrets private' rather than 'hide your secrets'. 'To hide your secrets' is grammatically possible but less natural. Suggestion: Use natural expressions like 'keep your secrets private'.

× I don't have anything to share with others nowadays.

✓ I don't have anything to share with others nowadays.

Sentence is grammatically correct and matches present context. No change needed.

× That's mainly because we're on a school break and I don't do anything except for studying at home or laying down on bed.

✓ That's mainly because we're on a school break and I don't do anything except study at home or lie down in bed.

Use the base verb after 'except' ('study') not gerund with 'for'. 'Laying' is the present participle; the correct verb for reclining is 'lie' (past participle 'lain', present 'lie'). Use 'in bed' rather than 'on bed'. Suggestion: Use 'except study' or 'except for studying' consistently; use 'lie down in bed' for correct verb and preposition.

× It has been really exhausting, but I guess I don't have anything so important to share.

✓ It has been really exhausting, but I guess I don't have anything that important to share.

Phrase 'so important' is informal and slightly awkward; 'that important' fits this context better. Tense 'has been' is acceptable to describe continuing state. Suggestion: Use 'that important' when downplaying importance.

× My mom is always supporting me about the things I have done.

✓ My mom has always supported me in the things I have done.

Use present perfect 'has supported' to show ongoing support up to now, or 'is always supporting' is awkward here. Use 'in' rather than 'about' for collocation with 'support'. Suggestion: Use 'has always supported me in' or 'always supports me with'.

× One time I was the winner of a really hard game and I just first saw my mom and she hugged me so tight and say I'm so proud of you.

✓ One time I won a very difficult game, and when I first saw my mom she hugged me tightly and said, 'I'm so proud of you.'

Use past tense consistently: 'won' instead of 'was the winner of', 'first saw' sequence corrected to 'when I first saw', 'hugged me tightly' ('tight' -> adverb 'tightly'), and 'say' to past 'said'. Also quotation punctuation kept conceptually; in correction use reported speech format. Suggestion: Keep past tense for past events and use adverbs correctly.

× That makes my day even better.

✓ That made my day even better.

The student refers to a past event, so past tense 'made' should be used rather than present 'makes'. Suggestion: Match verb tense to the time of the event.

× I share my newest live updates or things has been happening recently in my life mostly uh my friends are not people who likes to listen stuff so much so I don't tell them so many.

✓ I share my latest life updates or things that have been happening recently in my life, but my friends are not people who like to listen to such things a lot, so I don't tell them many details.

Use 'latest' instead of 'newest' and 'life updates' rather than 'live updates'. 'Has been' should be 'have been' to agree with plural subject 'things'. 'Who likes' should be 'who like' to match plural 'friends'. 'Listen stuff' should be 'listen to such things' and 'so many' should be 'many details' for clarity. Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb agreement and use proper prepositions ('listen to') and more precise nouns like 'details'.