News— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, avoid redundancy, and correct word choice. Use one or two supporting details with linking words (for example, because / and) and keep within 3–4 sentences. Also correct inaccurate words (e.g., "a gay" is incorrect) and use natural phrasing such as "I prefer factual news".

例: Yes, I am interested in news. I prefer factual reporting because it gives exact details and reliable information. Also, I especially follow local news, because it helps me stay aware of what’s happening in my community.

提案: Answer the question directly about the methods you use (TV, websites, apps, social media) before adding reasons. Use linking words (for example, so / therefore) and avoid repeating general statements. Keep sentences concise and grammatical.

例: I usually get news from a mobile news app and a national TV channel. Because these sources are updated frequently and are reliable, I can quickly learn world and local events and form informed opinions.

提案: Give a clear direct response (yes or no) and then explain briefly with specific reasons and examples. Fix grammar (e.g., "I'm not into writing"), use linking words (however / but / because), and avoid unclear phrases like "opinions surrounded by."

例: No, I would not like to be a journalist, although I admire their work. Journalism is demanding because reporters must note accurate details quickly and check facts, which requires a lot of pressure and responsibility.

提案: Answer directly (yes/no) and state briefly what you read and how you share it. Improve tense usage and sentence structure, remove filler words (umm), and use linking words (so / because) to connect ideas. Be specific about the source or topic you checked this morning.

例: Yes, I read the news this morning on my phone. I checked headlines about politics and weather, and then I told my parents in the Philippines so they would be aware of important developments.

提案: Respond directly about frequency (often/rarely/sometimes) and give a clear reason or example. Use correct verb forms and linking words (because / so) and avoid repetition. Be concise and specific about topics you discuss or an example conversation.

例: Sometimes I talk with my friends about the news, especially when we meet. Because many of them do not follow the news, I often update them about important local events or major world stories so they stay informed.

× Honestly, I like news that it's more factual as well as a gay gave exact details to the viewers.

✓ Honestly, I like news that is more factual and gives exact details to the viewers.

The original sentence uses incorrect pronouns and awkward clauses ('it's' and 'a gay'). Replace 'it's more factual as well as a gay gave' with a clear relative clause 'that is more factual and gives' so the subject 'news' correctly links to the verb 'gives'. Use of 'gives' (third person singular) matches 'news' as a singular noun. Suggestion: keep sentence simple and use 'that' to introduce defining information about news.

× Most importantly, the news that is happening in our local communities the most important so I have an idea and be aware of what's going on.

✓ Most importantly, the news happening in our local communities is the most important, so I have an idea and am aware of what's going on.

The sentence had missing verb and incorrect word order. 'the news that is happening in our local communities the most important' lacks a linking verb. Add 'is' after the subject and change 'be aware' to 'am aware' to match the first person subject. Use a comma before 'so' for clarity. Suggestion: ensure each clause has a subject and correct verb form.

× I find news is very vital to our daily living because it gives ideas as well as opinions of our society and also we are informed of what's happening to the world as well as to the local community around us.

✓ I find news very vital to our daily life because it gives ideas and opinions about our society and informs us about what is happening in the world and in our local community.

Problems: awkward verb phrase 'find news is very vital' and redundant 'as well as' usage. Change 'daily living' to the more natural 'daily life'. Use 'informs us about' instead of 'we are informed of' to keep active voice and parallel structure. Replace repeated 'as well as' with 'and' for simplicity. Suggestion: use parallel structures and active voice for clarity.

× Honestly, I am not into our writing or fond of being a journalist, but I'm interested of their kind of work.

✓ Honestly, I am not into writing or fond of being a journalist, but I'm interested in that kind of work.

Errors: 'our writing' is incorrect pronoun; use 'writing'. 'Interested of' should be 'interested in'. 'their kind of work' is unclear; 'that kind of work' or 'the kind of work journalists do' is better. Suggestion: use correct preposition 'interested in' and choose accurate pronouns.

× It's not an easy job because you need to write down every detail, especially the actual event.

✓ It's not an easy job because you need to record every detail, especially the facts of the actual event.

'Write down every detail' is acceptable but 'especially the actual event' is incomplete; clarify as 'the facts of the actual event'. 'Record' or 'report' may be more natural verbs for journalism. Suggestion: prefer precise nouns ('facts') and verbs ('report') in context.

× So that's the opinions surrounded by. By the News.

✓ So those are the opinions that surround the news.

Original fragments are ungrammatical and unclear. Combine fragments into a single sentence with clear subject and verb. Use plural 'those' to match 'opinions' and 'that surround the news' as defining relative clause. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments; ensure complete clause with subject and verb.

× Honestly when I got up in the morning, I normally check a news always happening around the world and tell to my parents especially in the Philippines that umm what's happening in this country or in other countries was there so they are aware.

✓ Honestly, when I get up in the morning, I normally check the news about what is happening around the world and tell my parents, especially those in the Philippines, what's happening in this country or in other countries so they are aware.

Tense inconsistency: 'got up' (past) with 'normally check' (present). Use present simple 'get up' to match habitual action. 'a news' is incorrect article; use 'the news'. 'tell to my parents' should be 'tell my parents'. Remove extraneous words 'was there'. Add commas for clarity. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense for habitual actions and use correct articles with 'news'.

× Also because my parents are not really aware of the specific new news lately so I keep telling them what's happening.

✓ Also, because my parents are not really aware of recent news, I keep telling them what's happening.

'Specific new news lately' is redundant and awkward. Use 'recent news' to convey the idea. Also remove 'so' when using 'because' to avoid run-on sentence; restructure with comma. Suggestion: use concise quantifiers like 'recent' and avoid redundancy.

× If I had a chance, I met my friends, I talked to them about what's happening to the local community and to the world nowadays, since my other friends also not watching or keen to watch the news.

✓ If I have a chance to meet my friends, I talk to them about what's happening in the local community and in the world nowadays, since my other friends do not watch or are not keen to watch the news.

Original mixes conditional past 'If I had' with past verbs 'met'/'talked' but describes habitual present. Use present conditional 'If I have a chance' and present simple 'meet'/'talk' to describe habitual action. 'What's happening to the local community' should be 'in the local community'. Use auxiliary 'do' for negative present: 'do not watch'. Suggestion: match conditional clause to intended time frame and use correct prepositions.

× So I'm the one who keep informing them of what's happening even though they are not interested.

✓ So I'm the one who keeps informing them about what's happening even though they are not interested.

Subject-verb agreement: after 'who' referring to 'I' the verb should be third person singular 'keeps' because 'who' acts as 'he/she' in relative clause, but since antecedent is 'I', use 'keep' or rewrite. More natural: 'I'm the one who keeps informing them'. Also 'informing them about' is preferred over 'informing them of'. Suggestion: use 'keeps' for relative clause agreement and 'inform about'.

× I keep telling them so they are be aware of it.

✓ I keep telling them so they are aware of it.

Remove incorrect auxiliary 'be' after 'are'. 'Are aware' is the correct present tense expression. Suggestion: avoid inserting extra verbs; use 'are aware' for present state.