Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and accurate: start with a clear topic sentence, correct basic grammar (past tense and possessive forms), remove irrelevant words, and add one specific detail. Use linking words sparingly for coherence. Speak in complete sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I did. I was 12 when my father bought me a bright red bicycle. It was my first real bike and I used it to ride to school every day. Although it was quite expensive, it lasted for several years and I have fond memories of riding it with my friends.

提案: Open with a clear opinion, use correct vocabulary and tenses, avoid filler phrases, and provide one or two specific reasons or comparisons with coherence markers (e.g., "however", "now"). Correct word choice (bikes, not banks) and smoother sentence flow will improve score.

例: Yes, I think bicycles used to be very popular in China. Thirty years ago, when there were fewer cars, bicycles were the main mode of transport for many people. However, nowadays most families can afford cars, so cycling is less common in cities, although it remains popular for short trips and exercise.

× Yes, I have a bag.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

The student answered a past-tense question ('Did you have a bike when you were a child?') but used present tense 'have' and also referred to 'a bag' which is likely a wrong word choice. This is a pronoun/word choice error and tense mismatch; correct to 'had' to match past time frame and 'bike' to match the question. Suggestion: use the past simple ('had') when referring to possessions in the past and echo key nouns from the question to avoid incorrect substitution.

× You know, I, I remember that it was my 12 years old and my father bought me a bike and yeah, it's, it's very nice bike, but it was expensive.

✓ You know, I remember that I was 12 years old when my father bought me a bike, and it was a very nice bike, but it was expensive.

Multiple issues: 'it was my 12 years old' is incorrect structure for age (should be 'I was 12 years old'); 'I, I' is a hesitational repetition but not grammatical error per list; 'it's, it's very nice bike' mixes present 'it's' with past context and omits an article before 'very nice bike'. The main grammatical problems are present tense used ('it's') instead of past and wrong age expression. Suggestion: use past simple for past events ('I was', 'bought', 'it was') and include articles ('a very nice bike').

× And I think you know the bikes, they are very popular in China, 30 years ago, there was not too much of cars on the road.

✓ I think bikes are very popular in China. Thirty years ago, there were not many cars on the road.

Problems: 'the bikes, they are' includes unnecessary definite article and redundant pronoun; '30 years ago, there was not too much of cars' has subject-verb agreement and quantifier errors. 'Cars' is plural so use 'there were' not 'there was'; 'not too much of cars' is ungrammatical — use 'not many cars'. Suggestion: remove the unnecessary article, use 'bikes are' for general statement, and use 'there were' with 'many' for countable plural nouns.

× So the banks are the most common traffic tools for people.

✓ So bikes were the most common means of transport for people.

The student wrote 'banks' (likely mispronounced 'bikes') and 'traffic tools' which is unnatural. 'Traffic tools' is a literal translation; use 'means of transport' or 'mode of transport'. Also tense: referring to past period (30 years ago) so past form 'were' fits. Suggestion: choose correct plural noun 'bikes' and use the appropriate collocation 'means of transport' and past 'were'.

× But now, these days people, they normally use the cars.

✓ But nowadays people usually use cars.

Problems: 'these days' and 'now' are redundant together; 'people, they' is a redundant pronoun; 'use the cars' wrongly includes the definite article; use present simple 'usually use' for habitual present actions. Suggestion: streamline to 'Nowadays people usually use cars' and remove unnecessary articles and duplicated pronouns.